My daughter is almost 5 and I’ve made a conscious effort to stop doing whatever I’m doing if she says stop or no.
For example, tickling. If I’m tickling and she says stop, I stop immediately with no back talk.
Or if I’m copying her in a joking way (we both do it to each other from time to time) and she says stop, that’s it. We’re done.
When I’m snuggling with her after reading books before bed, she feels comfortable enough to say, “you can go now” and I that’s it. I leave with no complaints.
In non-safety situations I ask if I can hold her hand. If she says no, that’s it, I’m not holding her hand. Parking lots are a different matter.
I will continue this throughout her entire upbringing so that if (ok, when) someone continues to do something she has said stop or no to, it will be unambiguously wrong to her.
Later when I explain that “no” is a complete sentence, it should feel intuitive.
Playing hard to get is a big fucking red flag. It shows a lack of maturity and a lack of truthfulness. It also shows a willingness to be deceitful to your partner.
deleted by creator
New green text drop.
–be me high functioning autistic, struggle with social ques.
–begin highschool, theres a cute girl.
–decide to be extra friendly, take every available moment to be beside her and friendly.
– 2 months go by, still doesnt notice my intent. Decided to be blunt.
– tell her i like her, romatically. Says cool and walks away,
– autism engage.mp3
– do the same shit for 2 weeks
– she tells me she want to be friends, I respect her wishs tho saddened.
– walk with her in-between classes like all my other friends.
– she calls me creepy and to stop stalking her. I explain im not stalking im just being a friend and just enjoy talking inbetween class.
– 2 weeks go by, she doesnt say anything about me being “creepy”
– go to B lunch where i sit by myself cause friends have A lunch.
– phone buzz.mp3
– random number of text message with photo of me 20 seconds ago at lunch table.
– panic issues, i message who dis. They reply, you dont need to know stop stalking (girls name). I explain its not stalking if i go up and say hello and talk to them.
– they dont listen, they tell me to stop being creepy. I ask again who this was. No reply…
– i tell them ill get the cops involved if they dont reval themselfs.
– lunch ends, goes to math class. Asks (girl) what she know about random texter.
– (girl) says no clue
– day ends, sleep like shit because of creepy MF.
– finally get response, im (girls friend)
– i sit at lunch table following day with her and ask whats this is about.
– she says (girl) says im a creepy stalker that follows her around and stares at her. And that (girl) asked her to do this. I explain i like talking to her, and she engages back in a mutal conversion. And that im autistic and zone out.
– she still insists im a creep
– confront (girl) in math class “Why did you lie about this, just tell me you dont want to be friends” Girl refuses to talk to me and spreads rumors of me being a creep.
– MFW i dont miss highschool dating.
TLDR- women gaslights autism into stalking and give lasting insecurity issues.
Too believable to be a greentext
Creepy guy uses excuse of autism to justify being creepy despite clear verbal instructions and explanation.
Autism is not an excuse to be act however you want, people give you leeway not free lichence. Failing to pick up cues is one thing but you don’t need emotional intelligence to know that following someone around like that is not acceptable behavior. None of my medically diagnosed autistic friends stalk girls and they’d all understand clear and direct instructions.
Didja try reading the entire post?
– she calls me creepy and to stop stalking her. I explain im not stalking im just being a friend and just enjoy talking inbetween class.
This one is the part where he should have stopped talking to her.
As an autistic woman who dates and befriends a lot of autistic people… everyone here was autistic. This is why people with autism really need to learn communication skills and how to respect boundaries. Given that this was high school, that compounds the issues (high schoolers have very little social skills).
The first boundary violation was him telling her that he liked her every day for 2 weeks. Like even telling someone once can cross emotional boundaries, doing it every day is a LOT. For a high schooler. I am pretty nice to homeless people and sometimes they tell me they love me. None of them have done it every day for two weeks. That’s odd af behavior. When she tried to communicate that, she did it badly (but really who ever is in this situation??), and OP disagreed with her feelings (not a debate) and basically said he’d keep walking with her because he wanted to. That’s the second boundary violation. Then keeps violating boundaries after they amplify hostile behaviors. It’s like petting a rattlesnake and getting bit, despite the snake warning you repeatedly to go away.
Autism, OCD, and low serotonin can be comorbid, and OCD in particular is associated with stalking and obsessive behaviors. Not every person with OCD will stalk ofc though.
There’s already kind of a “shortage” of autistic women who are willing to date men, and then they run into guys like this and get sworn off it. The lack of communication is the main problem, but also it’s hard for people to have similar special interests. One of my friends dated a guy who started to develop a special interest in taxidermy and made a long cloak of rat skins including the tail. It did not smell good or look good. She is a vegan veterinarian. It was a huge conflict.
