Mine was the day I got my first apartment. I was really just beginning in life and felt like I never really truly knew freedom and safety like having my own soverign space that nobody could revoke or meddle with
The day I exercised my freedom and freewill.
I have decided to clean my room and actually went through with it.
The trauma crippled me for the long time and I couldn’t do anything from my own violition. That day it has changed. I am in charge of my own life from that point onward.
(I hoped that it would be better. It’s still murky and gray but at least it’s not pitch black. There is a long way ahead of me)
When I proposed to my now husband.
I like that, I really feel like women and men would both benefit if women feel empowered and confident proposing as well
We’re two guys.
I agree with the sentiment but we don’t know if the person who you replied to is a woman
Whoops, no idea why my mind filled in the blanks randomly, my statement obviously stands but its a quasi-non-sequitar in light of that 😅
All good, friend.
Other than my childhood summers…
It must have been that one time I traveled to Japan and stood at the Chureito Pagoda to see this view of Mount Fuji which I had as a desktop background and never in my life ever dreamed I’d see in person.
I dunno. Outside of my childhood summers I’ve never really had “the happiest day of my life”. It’s been only a series of disappointing events. And even moments that should have been filled with joy were filled with sadness and anxiety for various reasons. Mostly because of my relationships.
My engagement. We were in a long distance relationship until then (and for a while after)and after the engagement party we went to get hot chocolates and were finally able to be together. It was amazing.
The first night of my first cruise. I proposed.
I was planning on waiting, but it seemed like an appropriate thing to do on the happiest day of our lives.
Landing in Bangkok Thailand for the first time in 1998.
I was tired, exhausted from a 14 hour flight from Chicago, where we had a 6 hour layover and we had spent 3 hours in Toronto before that. We flew economy on a seat no more comfortable than sitting at a padded kitchen chair at a family Thanksgiving supper that lasted for 13 hours and with 200 people cramped in barely enough room to move around. My legs cramped, my clothes reeked, I was so tired, I no longer cared if I was hungry … and at the end of the flight when they opened the door of the aircraft, I hoped for a cool breeze but was instead met with a warm moist smelly smog. I said to my wife that it must be a hot day which is why it was hot at midnight in the dark (I would later discover that it was actually a cool day!). We walked to the main terminal, dragged ourselves off to the passport line and shuffled our way to the exit to get our bags, then fought for an hour with taxi drivers who spoke terrible English and promised us passage to the dark side of the moon for $10. We had to figure out who had the best price and WOULD NOT carry us away to be murdered. I nearly fell asleep on the damp sticky taxi drive to the city to our ‘hostel’. He drove us off the freeway and onto dark roadways, then to a side street filled with what looked like street gang thugs and drug addicts … we thought we were done for and that we would be tortured for our bank accounts before our dead bodies got thrown in a city dumpster. It was 2am, in a deep dark noisy, ugly, smelly, hot, sticky city. The taxi driver motioned us to a narrow passage way with a little light. We said no, he said yes, yes. We were so tired, he could have just murdered us there. So we went and at the end of passage way it opened up to a wide brightly lit patio with shoes everywhere and a smiling young Thai woman who said ‘Welcome to Tavi Guesthouse!’.
We had arrived at the hostel we had rented through some weird new service we had just learned about called ‘email’ and we had made a bunch of calls using about $50 worth of long distance minutes to find and book this place.
We checked-in in a daze. The Thai lady could have charged us $1,000 a night and we wouldn’t have cared. The place was simple, basic and cheap … it was only $8 a night.
When we finally lay down, I took off my clothes and hugged my wife as we drifted off to sleep. I couldn’t believe we were in Thailand. My first international trip outside of Canada (I had been to the US but I felt like it didn’t count because the US is a lot like Canada). I had to let go of her and move to my side of the bed after a minute because we were both stinking hot. It was all a complete shock to our systems because we had left Sudbury in February at -40 degrees and within 24 hours arrived in the tropics at +40 degrees!
I watched the slow moving fan over our bed and tried to imagine it was cooling me off. I held her hand and we drifted off to sleep.
I felt like I was in a dream.
I was so happy. I was so tired. I was so amazed.
Sometimes it’s not the “classic” happy moments but intense experiences like these that make us feel alive.
June 25, 2009
No, not because Michael Jackson died, I had my first ever date and got a girlfriend.
I was getting ready to leave my girlfriend’s apartment. We had gone out for a walk and ended up having dinner. It wasn’t a formal date or anything, we had been together, officially, for nearly 6 months by that point.
We hugged and just kept hugging. Not petting or getting frisky, just holding each other and enjoying each other’s company for the final few moments of the evening.
It just came out, I said “I love you.”
She tensed and was silent for what felt forever. Long enough to start thinking I just either ended our relationship, or caused serious damage.
Just when I was about to disengage from her, she relaxed looked up and gave me a very very nice kiss and said; “I love you too.”
At the time I lived nearly 20 miles away from her and I do not remember the drive at all.
That was 21 years ago. We have two teenage boys now and happier now than we were back then.
In case someone wonders why I didn’t stay with her that night, it was a weeknight. We both had work the next day and she had an earlier morning than usual. The following weekend we spent the whole time together.
Beautiful story. I’m happy for you and your family.
Awww that’s such a hearthwarming story! Wishing both of you all the best!!
There was a weekend in 2006 where I had absolutely nothing to do despite a full schedule for months on either side. I stayed in my apartment and played video games and just existed happily without being molested for three whole days.
I have had children and received promotions and all of that, but all of those experiences are laced with a bit of anxiety. That weekend though was just pure, light joy for three days and it is something I revisit mentally, constantly. Make sure to enjoy those little times too.
Day I got married.
Next would be the time the bartender offered me the half pint of beer for free while he went to change the keg.
I can’t remember anymore. Haven’t felt great happiness for decades
I almost had a happy day but my anxiety got in the way and I ruined it.
At this point, a day where I don’t feel like a total fuck up is the best I get. I’ll keep working on it and maybe I’ll have friends again.
Idk if this is valuable to you but it was to me so I’ll take a shot. This is about social anxiety but can apply to other types as well imo.
I learned that my social anxiety was because I would not stick up for myself. Anxiety and “fight or flight” are physiologically the same thing, so my anxiety was my body freaking out that I may be abused in conversation with no way to defend myself.
I spent years learning healthy boundaries and effective ways to handle conflict and confrontation and in my mid 30s I finally feel like I’m crawling out of the hole.
It’s a little annoying the thing I was anxious about and avoiding (conflict, embarrassment, making a scene if necessary) was actually the thing keeping me anxious in the first place but I’m glad I’m back on the climb out now.
I wish you luck in your journey, stranger.
I appreciate it. I’ve been feeling pretty down lately and this has helped.
I know I can do better.
Thank you for your encouragement.
I recommend mindfulness training if you can. There’s a big difference between:
- “I’m a fuckup”
- “I feel like a fuckup”
- “I notice I feel like a fuckup”
- “I see that I wanted to label myself as a fuckup”
Brains and bodies will automatically attract to higher levels of comfort or peace, so you can start to see the trends in your mental health, it will literally pull you toward fixing it. It may not be a complete fix by itself, but you’ll be surprised how much it will do for you.
You are not your illness. Would you feel empathy for a friend with anxiety? Likely yes. If you give them that grace, why not yourself too?
I hope/am glad if this stuff helps.
It does help. I’m totally overthinking every little thing involving a couple of my friends.
I really need to get out and try to meet some new folks. I know I can do it. I just need to convince myself that I’m worth the effort.
It’s a funny thing, once the whole “boundaries” thing starts to click it sort of becomes addicting as you slowly realize “oh, I can say no to things I don’t like” or “I can ask for the things I wish I had”.
Eventually that leads to the secure attachment style (still working on this one myself). But since this began to “click” I have made 3 excellent friends that I don’t feel like I need to perform around and it’s wild to me.
Are you autistic/neurodivergent by chance? I am, and I read a book called “Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price, PhD and it helped a lot with this for me. Not sure if it would mean anything to people who aren’t though.
When I learned to smoke fish on the BBQ, I invited my family over, and my sister asked for a second serving.
Today because it’s a new day and a new chance to try to make things better.
The day I was born. It was all downhill from there.
I found a penny about 10 years after they were discontinued in my county. Such an amazing day.
Everybody’s stupid except me.
That’s an awesome penny
