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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 4th, 2025

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  • I feel for certain instances this is true. I’m not sure if it’s people treating this place like Reddit in some ways, if it’s people/bots trying to bully others out for not sharing their specific views whatever topic. I think there could be some bad actors at play trying to drive people out of the Fediverse, making it more Reddit-like with the bot bullying style would be an effective way for them to drive away people that don’t share their opinions. Mass downvoting your comments or posts can be part of the dog piling.

    I see the behavior a lot more on Lemmy.world, hexbear, .ml, and .grad instances.


  • Real friends can fall into these groups as well is the thing.

    I personally don’t have spare energy to maintain active friendships with the dozens of people I’m close with, but I don’t expect anything from them either since we’re both burdened and I don’t care less about them just because we haven’t talked. If they are a true friend of mine it will be like a day has not passed between us.

    Another thing is some people can feel awkward about reaching out if it’s been some time as well.


  • How old are you currently and how old are your friends? You don’t have to actually answer that question but I think it would give you a bit more insight into what’s happening. Many friendships transform slowly based on the life path you or your friends are on, with path diverging more each year if you are not both headed towards the same life goals.

    For instance, if a friend of yours wants to get married and have kids, then they’re probably going to be prioritizing their relationships with their family or with other friends planning families since it’s easier to stay in sync with these people.

    If your friend likes to party, stay up later than you, and push on your newer comfort zones, then it makes it more challenging to maintain an active friendship. If you were that way in the past with your friend and are no longer that way, then you have to juggle an old identity that doesn’t quite fit anymore and a new one which may not match your friend’s path.

    Expectations change in relationships as well, especially if you’re living with your SO. Seeing your friends once or twice a week after work might not fly, especially if you have kids that require more oversight, attention, and care.

    Even just texting friends requires some mutual engagement. If your friends also have a lot of friends it’s probably even tougher for them to be juggling texting each of these friends and staying up to date on everything they have going on. If they have three friend groups and an SO for instance, that’s about one weekend a month with each friend group plus at minimum one spent with their family.

    I frequently will take days to get back to my own family or even my best friend, it’s not because I don’t care but often because they are asking for a time investment I’m not ready to commit to in that moment (eg, them saying “let’s do x on y day” when I have no clue if I have another commitment with my immediate family on y day). If I got more questions like “do you think you’ll have time in the next week or so?” it’d be easier give a more definitive answer as well since it’s more accommodating of my time.

    TL;DR: You could be doing everything ‘right’, but that doesn’t mean the specific people you’re friends with have the bandwidth for the more active friendship you’re looking for. Not everything or everyone is set in stone though, circumstances can change and so can people’s hearts.


  • It’s a bad deal that only policy could really fix at this point.

    If you’re the only store with real menu prices then customers just get price shocked at what they’re actually going to be paying when they can go next door to another restaurant that doesn’t tell you the full price up front. Customers would be upset at a mid $18 burger, but are fine with a mid $16 burger + $2 tip.

    Imo, the problems stem from the forced rat race of no one having enough money excluding the rich. Prices being high wouldn’t matter if people got paid more, but cause we’re not getting paid more, the companies that target the general population just make everything into cheap knockoff crap to still turn the same or better profit margins.


  • The only thing that exists here is user level upvotes/downvotes.

    Lemmy lets you see how many times you’ve liked another person’s previous comments/posts. So your personal score appears next to people for you to see only. I like this more this a karma system since it makes Lemmy a bit more tight knit.

    I’ve been surprised a few times now though with users I’ve liked in the past making comments that were not so great down the line, but it makes me have to accept the reverse as well. Some people I must have really disagreed with in previous conversations have almost made great points and I ended up agreeing with them in those instances.

    TL;DR: Not everyone’s perfect but people can grow and it’s good to give them room to do so was my takeaway.







  • Both likes and dislikes, imo. Bad actors and their bots can make it appear as though their stance is a widely held belief, they can dog pile dissidents, they often attack a straw-person for a point you never made to pull others against you and derail the conversation, etc.

    With user level tools at your disposal, such as on BlueSky, you can at least coordinate a response to flag potential bad actors and even have the options to mute/block them by default. If your account were to be hacked and publishing disruptive content which was not something you would post, then your account could end up on these mute/block lists and you’d need to communicate the issue with the individuals that maintain these mute/block lists.





  • No judgment since I think many anime shows are not worth the time, but anime is just another medium, like books, more than anything. If there’s a genre of something you like on another medium, then there probably are some decent shows for that genre in anime.

    Lots of anime is written with a specific audience in mind, such as the most well known anime shows being written for teens and young adults. Even more, most anime has a specific gendered audience as its target audience.

    I personally didn’t care too much for anime until I watched some very high quality shows that pulled me more into the medium.




  • I agree completely, they’re much better for all of the reasons you stated. I’m saying they’re Ranked Choice in a dumbed down sense, because it’s a bit too complicated for many people to really grasp the specifics. You are still functionally giving your choices a rank, and that’s the easy to explain part for most people to get about STAR and Ranked Robin. So I’m making an appeal to something most people are familiar with already to really sell the two other systems.


  • STAR and Ranked Robin both are a form of RCV. Most people are familiar with RCV so I feel it’s easier to sell the whole concept under the RCV label and then just directing people to the Equal Vote Coalition, like you did, which does a great job of explaining the nuances.

    Seriously though, STAR or Ranked Robin are the best choices if we want more progressive wins overall.

    Regular RCV is weighted more towards center with a higher chance of the least liked candidate winning compared to STAR or Ranked Robin although less than our current system.

    Even RCV is still leagues better than what we currently have and it still shows the actual support numbers for progressive politicians and policies. However, if we’re making a final choice, I’d be happy with STAR = Ranked Robin > Score Voting > Ranked Choice Voting >>>>>>>> First Past the Post (The current system in most of the US).