typical shareholder meeting in america:

ceo: i’ve come to a stunning conclusion, and i don’t want to ruffle too many feathers or cause a heart attack–we know what happened to MCfunky last week.

uneasy laughter

ceo: but i have a crazy idea that i’m sure is going to shock everyone in the room, and i’m hesitant to even say this out loud, but, how about we cut one employee per store and raise the prices on ALL items by a nickel!

the room of shareholders went completely silent, until the oldest of the bunch cut a huge fart. what happened next was a raucous laughter that wasn’t heard since the first test screening of ‘a princess bride’ and a round of applause that was usually reserved for a barack obama speech @ $200k a seat (champagne optional).

the forbes editor who was deployed to the meeting immediately came in his pants and a rothschild graciously committed to buying him a new pair, despite the known frugality of the ultra-wealthy (they wouldn’t be rich if they didn’t know how to work a penny). she told him, ‘meet me on rodeo drive next week and i got you covered’ but he missed the appointment because he was supposed to cover alysa liu’s birthday extravaganza.

she was fat anyway, at least that what he told himself. she was kinda fat by european or asian standards but we were in america and the rules of the wild west still apply. who cares how much money she has. alysa dyed her hair green this week. that’s all that really matters,.

i don’t get angry because they rearranged the store, i get angry because they ONLY rearranged the store so some worthless, nepo-baby dipshit can justify their existence at the company because they came to the conclusion–after 25 focus groups-- that it’d increase shareholder value by $0.0003 to move the pasta to aisle 3

dumb people have always bought crap. just because components are more expensive doesn’t change anything–a savvy computer user is always going to go for pre-built. i’d personally take out a loan before i bought a meta pc even if steep discounts are on the menu.

it also makes me think that all the conspiratorial talk is just talk. maybe all these companies are conspiring to raise prices so they can sell you garbage like this pathetic excuse for a pc.

but that doesn’t fit into the ‘all rich people are geniuses’ narrative. greed doesn’t require intelligence. even someone with an intense hunger and a 50 IQ is gonna try and put their hand into your burger king bag and swipe a fry or two.

market research firm lol. get a real job.

If I came from a wealthier family and went to private schools and all that I’d probably be an editor for Vogue and be a psychopath like Patrick Bateman. They just self-own when they ask a stupid question like this because they have no self-awareness or intelligence. I’ve never met anyone IRL who made more than 100k a year that wasn’t an asshole. They don’t kill people but they wouldn’t put up a protest if it happened and they see the rest of us as vermin.

talk to older people whose kids are grown. later millennials/gen-x/boomers aren’t as resistant to cold conversation and their children aren’t a factor.

besides, later millennials and gen-z are legit fucking weird and either don’t know how to have deep conversations or have no personality.

travelling salesmen who pirate all their media??

who is this for?

those unicorn users who make 150k++ a year and pirate all their media and then wanna share it with their friends that they don’t have?

even if that’s only 50k a year after all is said and done it’s 50k a year where you don’t have to do shit.

play a sad fiddle for all the daycare owners.