Every time I encounter another problem with my body that a healthy person wouldn’t have, I’m always tempted to think to myself that nobody would want a partner like me because they could just pick someone healthier and more capable. I’m in my early 20s and my health is already getting a little worse each year without any real way to stop it.

I could tell myself that my unique story is compelling, and that enduring all of this hardship has cultivated a more powerful mindset than mainstream materialism and hyperindividualism, and that anyone who shares my values would appreciate me for who I am, even if it means potentially foregoing wealth and luxury. But I just wish I had something more to go off of, something a little more than just blind hope.

I know that lacking confidence and having an external locus of control aren’t helping at all, but I find that I can only feel confidence and control if I have a solid, well-reasoned belief that I can succeed and my actions are meaningful.

So, I’d really appreciate any success stories, those who found love despite having challenging medical issues, or any good arguments you might have. I don’t think there will be any one thing that does it for me; every little bit will help. Thank you.

  • whyyyyytho@lemmy.world
    0·
    8 days ago

    I’ve been chronically ill with several invisible illnesses since my teens. I’m in my 40’s now. Most of that time was without a solid diagnosis or treatment. I endured a lot of gaslighting and claims from family and friends that I was faking. However, I eventually found other friends, chosen family, and a partner who did not treat me that way.

    It took a lot of hardship and a lot of time, but please don’t give up or let anyone make you feel that you are less than or that you don’t deserve love. People, especially when they are younger and haven’t endured any physical hardship, can be cruel. But not everyone is. When you find kindness, appreciation, and acceptance lean into it and show it to others as well.

    Your experience is going to be different than many people your age, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be good. In a lot of ways, my partnership is healthier and more communicative than a lot of my peers. I attribute that to how differently we’ve had to work together and understand each other because of my illnesses.