Posting this because I can’t really talk to my family or whatever. I have one main friend but I don’t think she cares on a deeper level so it always just feels like I’m alone. Who do you guys turn to for help? It’s always been a struggle for me, it’s like no one is really there. It feels like I’m living the same day over and over again and I’m not contempt with my own thoughts and it’s hard for me to get over it. I’m not sure if I’m just depressed and I’m so good at hiding it or I’m just so numb to everything. I forget so much of my past and it’s so hard for me to sit with myself and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I just lost something so good in my life because I made a big mistake and that’s also something I won’t get over. I can’t win things back and it’s sad to accept reality of things. Sorry for this depressing as post but I don’t have anyone to really talk to
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Sorry for this depressing as post but I don’t have anyone to really talk to
Don’t feel sorry.
Have you considered writing in a journal? I started as a little boy myself (now well into my 50s) and it helped me tremendously all my life and still does to this day.
As a child, I could certainly not speak with my dad or my mom despite or because of the things that happened to me. Even ignoring my family, a lot of my thoughts I simply could not share them with my best friend as he would not have understood most of it. Writing in my journal, discussing with myself in my journal, was my way of dealing with that absolute loneliness (after I quickly learned to make said journal unreadable to my inquisitorial mother that would quickly find it and read it no matter how hard I tried to hide it)
I did for a bit and then stopped. I will try to continue with that. It did feel good
I don’t go anywhere and it’s probably killing me slowly thru vices. I don’t see a better option tho.
Do you have a hobby that you might be interested in that involves meeting up with others? I know for a fact that more than a few good friendships started this way.
I’m not sure :/ I guess I like to draw and paint but I’m not the best at it.
I like to draw and paint but I’m not the best at it
I mean, it’s a hobby. I understand the desire to be good at it, but the primary goal is to have fun.
but I’m not the best at it.
Doesn’t matter! It’s the act of doing it that’s beneficial.
I moved five countries over so I don’t have to talk to or see my family. I used to sail away so that I don’t have to talk to, or even see other people.
Right now I’m in-between boats and trying out camping to get away from people instead. Also, the dogs like it more than sailing. Having to dinghy to shore for pee breaks gets tiring real fast.
No where. There’s only so many times I can be ignored and be okay with it, or have my hand slapped when I reach out.
I usually blast my grievances to the greater fediverse. Some passerby may read my woes and wipe a tear.
In the US, 988 has a warm line. They get a bad rap but if you call, wait and ask for the warm line during the day, they will call back within 48 to 72 hours to talk about anything for a half hour. For when you are not in a crisis, but still need to talk. If you ever are, look up crisis numbers in your area.
that’s also something I won’t get over.
Not when you keep repeating that to yourself. Shit sucks, shit will suck for a while, but shit won’t suck forever. It is okay to grief and be sad about good things. But life has to go on. Do things, meet people, force yourself to do it.
It will get better, period. Right now, it feels like it won’t. But you are already reaching out here, that is working on getting better. Keep doing it, and in the meantime, head up, chest out, carry on.
Nowhere? Sit with my own sadness. Go to the gym and work my frustration out on weights. Play games and forget? Unfortunately none of them healthy coping mechanisms, but talking to close ones leads to more issues because I’m very bad at putting my feelings into words without causing distress to others apparently. So inwards it goes.
Not as if the universe cares, so why should I?..
the second one (gym) is definitely healthy and the first one debatably is, depends on how you’re doing it.
it might be valuable to you to look into stoicism, that’s what the first one sounds like to me
the second one (gym) is definitely healthy
Maybe physically but how much mentally?
That’s the neat part, no one.
But hey, you’re not alone being alone. (Sorry, I kinda like that sentence)That’s true. Me myself & I i guess
I come here.
You may notice I’m here a lot.
Same, I like this group of people on Lemmy, I’ve had interactions on here that have made me feel good about myself and quite often the reason I’m smiling.
I don’t know y’all, but I’m glad y’all are here.
You too, dumbass. You too ❤️
You are 200% ok in my books!
I feel so complete
It’s going to sound dismissive, but I don’t go to others. I’ve found in my times of feeling the most alone, the only thing that allowed me to feel different was introspection.
I do absolutely understand the primal desire to be around others for support, but self-sufficiency and finding satisfaction without the help of others was my only way forward.
It wasn’t so much that I needed to change or that I was doing something wrong, but I forced myself to focus on those feelings and try to understand where they were coming from and learned that other things in my life gave me that satisfaction. For me, I make art when I’m feeling the most alone because it allows me to express that feeling.
Another thing that may come across as harsh is that you’re the only one in charge of your own happiness. If you feel like none of your friends are supporting you, it’s up to you to go out and find new people to fill their space.
Friends that are only there for you when you’re feeling good are not friends.
Thanks for this. I do enjoy being alone I do but it’s so hard to distract myself sometimes when I’m alone the motivation isn’t there and I want to bed rot. I spiral in my own thoughts and it’s so hard to channel it out. I have lowkey been feeling like this for so fucking long, it was starting to get better but now it’s just downhill. I’m trying to work through it but I can’t even talk to my own family because they don’t believe in anything mental health wise. I’ve been told to shut up during panic attacks and I never been comforted the way I wanted to. I don’t know how to find new friends, it’s hard. I am 21 and I feel like at this age like everyone has their “set” and not much people go out to make new friends, I could be wrong
On your last point, I moved 5 years ago when I was 28 with no friends or family to speak of outside of online. It’s never too late. My best luck making friends have been in context. In other words, I never went to a place to specifically make friends. I met them all when I was doing other things.
The biggest change for me was joining a kickboxing gym. I’m not an athlete by any stretch, but it allowed me to gain confidence, which I quickly learned is about the most attractive trait you can have.
The only way to get better at meeting new people is to try and fail. Hopefully through some trial and error, you can find an activity you enjoy that happens to involve others rather than trying to go places to meet people.
I think many of us have been here before. The first thing to realize is that… you aren’t the first and won’t be the last. I’m sorry you’ve had trouble in life. I’m having trouble now too, but different… and feel there’s nobody I can really talk to about it. I have friends who are also having trouble and while we talk, the reality is that all my good wishes and time to time help doesn’t solve their problems either. In the end it’s up to them.
“Life is a struggle” isn’t just an axiom.
The first thing any lonely person can do is really learn to love spending time with themselves. It involves a lot of soul searching, exploring, learning what things in life interest them enough to explore on their own. When you accomplish that, take what you’re interested in and go find other people who are interested in it. Two people in the world who might be meant for each other, but just stay at home because they don’t want to get out there… will never ever meet.
Life is work. Friends are work. Relationships are work. If you just want to be happy alone and by yourself, guess what? Work.
This is a crossroads in your life, where you get to decide which way to go. It may seem overwhelming, but in the end it starts with one simple thing. What thing in the world makes you happy? If that’s nothing, then start with, what thing in the world makes you less sad?
Every house has a foundation. Time to build yours.
