Growing up was made difficult because school is so slow that I’d rather be getting into trouble than sitting in class. By the start of middle school I’d already read the entire high school honors reading list, I had to walk to the high school from my middle school in 7th grade to take math classes. I rarely had regular school work in high school, nearly all of my academic teachers designed a different curriculum for me, which was nice but probably mostly to keep me from acting up in class. I never studied or did a shred of homework, but got good grades.
Social interactions were tough, I’m not much of an empath, not that I don’t experience empathy but emotions just aren’t intuitive, actually they often are the opposite of what you’d expect to be helpful, especially among young people. I had to concentrate to read people’s faces and mannerisms to understand the emotional and social subtexts of most interactions. I self medicated with alcohol a lot in high school.
All of my academic classes in high school were honors, and my final 2 years were all AP, while lettering in 3 varsity sports (4 total, but you can only play 3 each academic year). It wasn’t until my second year in uni that I ran into a class for which I actually had to study (nuclear chemistry), and boy was that an awful surprise. A handful of classes were like this for me, most I just showed up 3 times and got a good grade: the first day of class so I wouldn’t get dropped, the midterm, and the final.
I read quickly, think systematically, and information just sticks in my head. It was very difficult to understand why this wasn’t how most people were. Everything I do I analyze for improvement, and remember to do it better the next time. My wife calls me a skill collector because people seem to think I’m super good at everything, but to me it’s just logical that if you’re going to take time do something you might as well do it as well as possible.
After uni things started getting easier. Being forced to closely analyze social interactions and systematically give the “right” reactions is extremely useful in professional life. I wear this mask in all my interactions with all but my closest friends. It’s a bit psychopathic, but I don’t do it to anyone’s detriment, it’s mostly to get along and fit in.
I’ve self selected for highly intelligent friends, and I’m exhilarated to meet new people who can communicate with the kind of bandwidth that our brains run at, if that makes sense. I’m still close with most of my friends from high school, who have had varying levels of success, but I still have to be guarded when it comes to activities or conversation to make sure I don’t stick out too much.
In general I have a very pessimistic view of people and the world. The average person isn’t very sharp, and half of all people are dumber than that. However many smart people do evil things, most of the time for no reason at all. It’s exhausting to keep up with it all, so I just focus on my path and my family, and do what I can to directly improve my community.
It would be nice to fit in a little easier, but I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything else.
The section about pessimism is relatable. I spent a few months in my teen years in a chatroom with the topic of being outcasts in some way or another, before realizing it was a self-prophecising kind of toxic the same way that incel culture is, but there were some people ranting about how stupid people are and woe is me, I’m Cassandra! And my impression at the time was thinking they’re probably an egotistical prick who thinks they’re better than everyone else. But on the other hand, it is frustrating to see, less how ‘dumb’ people are but how ignorant people are. It’s hard not to get a bit of ego at times. And this isn’t about IQ for the most part, these issues are often caused or compounded by other problems with education, social values, propaganda/indoctrination and the lot. I guess I feel the activist frustrated enough to yell “why don’t you care?” when obviously, rationally it’s more complex than that.
This is a big issue in tech communities as it becomes more accessible, people are entering who aren’t used to the DIY culture, who don’t understand unsaid (or said) rules like asking smart questions to not waste everyone’s time. The world is at your fingertips! Fucking put that question in a search engine first before you waste my time, my life has value goddammit! When I occasionally whine about reddit culture, that’s a part of it. People who are curious (and that’s perfect!) but don’t realize they’re asking questions they can learn the answer to themselves. It’s like if we’re talking about cooking and someone jumps in to ask “what is a herb?”, it’s a valid question, an important question, but for fucks sake you can learn that without asking us all! Or at least go to ELI5 & NoStupidQuestions where those questions are appropriate.
Keep in mind, that rant is specific to online questions, where you have the resources you need. It’s more acceptable in a conversation, and I certainly don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable learning things.
Honestly, a community learning how to effectively direct people to an FAQ to onboard uninformed newcomers on answers and community expectations is the difference between a welcoming community and burned-out babysitters becoming toxic.
It’s a mixed bag.
Growing up was made difficult because school is so slow that I’d rather be getting into trouble than sitting in class. By the start of middle school I’d already read the entire high school honors reading list, I had to walk to the high school from my middle school in 7th grade to take math classes. I rarely had regular school work in high school, nearly all of my academic teachers designed a different curriculum for me, which was nice but probably mostly to keep me from acting up in class. I never studied or did a shred of homework, but got good grades.
Social interactions were tough, I’m not much of an empath, not that I don’t experience empathy but emotions just aren’t intuitive, actually they often are the opposite of what you’d expect to be helpful, especially among young people. I had to concentrate to read people’s faces and mannerisms to understand the emotional and social subtexts of most interactions. I self medicated with alcohol a lot in high school.
All of my academic classes in high school were honors, and my final 2 years were all AP, while lettering in 3 varsity sports (4 total, but you can only play 3 each academic year). It wasn’t until my second year in uni that I ran into a class for which I actually had to study (nuclear chemistry), and boy was that an awful surprise. A handful of classes were like this for me, most I just showed up 3 times and got a good grade: the first day of class so I wouldn’t get dropped, the midterm, and the final.
I read quickly, think systematically, and information just sticks in my head. It was very difficult to understand why this wasn’t how most people were. Everything I do I analyze for improvement, and remember to do it better the next time. My wife calls me a skill collector because people seem to think I’m super good at everything, but to me it’s just logical that if you’re going to take time do something you might as well do it as well as possible.
After uni things started getting easier. Being forced to closely analyze social interactions and systematically give the “right” reactions is extremely useful in professional life. I wear this mask in all my interactions with all but my closest friends. It’s a bit psychopathic, but I don’t do it to anyone’s detriment, it’s mostly to get along and fit in.
I’ve self selected for highly intelligent friends, and I’m exhilarated to meet new people who can communicate with the kind of bandwidth that our brains run at, if that makes sense. I’m still close with most of my friends from high school, who have had varying levels of success, but I still have to be guarded when it comes to activities or conversation to make sure I don’t stick out too much.
In general I have a very pessimistic view of people and the world. The average person isn’t very sharp, and half of all people are dumber than that. However many smart people do evil things, most of the time for no reason at all. It’s exhausting to keep up with it all, so I just focus on my path and my family, and do what I can to directly improve my community.
It would be nice to fit in a little easier, but I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything else.
The section about pessimism is relatable. I spent a few months in my teen years in a chatroom with the topic of being outcasts in some way or another, before realizing it was a self-prophecising kind of toxic the same way that incel culture is, but there were some people ranting about how stupid people are and woe is me, I’m Cassandra! And my impression at the time was thinking they’re probably an egotistical prick who thinks they’re better than everyone else. But on the other hand, it is frustrating to see, less how ‘dumb’ people are but how ignorant people are. It’s hard not to get a bit of ego at times. And this isn’t about IQ for the most part, these issues are often caused or compounded by other problems with education, social values, propaganda/indoctrination and the lot. I guess I feel the activist frustrated enough to yell “why don’t you care?” when obviously, rationally it’s more complex than that.
This is a big issue in tech communities as it becomes more accessible, people are entering who aren’t used to the DIY culture, who don’t understand unsaid (or said) rules like asking smart questions to not waste everyone’s time. The world is at your fingertips! Fucking put that question in a search engine first before you waste my time, my life has value goddammit! When I occasionally whine about reddit culture, that’s a part of it. People who are curious (and that’s perfect!) but don’t realize they’re asking questions they can learn the answer to themselves. It’s like if we’re talking about cooking and someone jumps in to ask “what is a herb?”, it’s a valid question, an important question, but for fucks sake you can learn that without asking us all! Or at least go to ELI5 & NoStupidQuestions where those questions are appropriate.
Keep in mind, that rant is specific to online questions, where you have the resources you need. It’s more acceptable in a conversation, and I certainly don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable learning things.
Honestly, a community learning how to effectively direct people to an FAQ to onboard uninformed newcomers on answers and community expectations is the difference between a welcoming community and burned-out babysitters becoming toxic.