Pooo

Gasp! You’ve never had NVME pie?! Here’s my family recipe:

NVMe SSD Pie Recipe

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of Silicon Wafers (finely ground)
• 256 GB of Flash Memory (preferably TLC or QLC for extra flavor)
• 1 NVMe Controller (for that zesty kick)
• 1/2 cup of PCIe Lanes (chopped into small bits)
• 1 tbsp of Thermal Paste (for a smooth texture)
• 1/4 cup of DRAM Cache (optional, for added richness)
• 1 Heatsink (for garnish)
• A pinch of Firmware (to taste)

Instructions:

1. Preheat your Oven:

   • Set your oven to a toasty 450°F (232°C). This is crucial for achieving that perfect, crispy circuit board crust.

2. Prepare the Crust:

   • In a large mixing bowl, combine the finely ground Silicon Wafers with the chopped PCIe Lanes. Mix until you achieve a dough-like consistency.
   • Press the mixture into a pie dish, ensuring it’s evenly spread to form the base of your pie.

3. Layer the Flash Memory:

   • Sprinkle the Flash Memory evenly over the crust. Make sure to distribute it uniformly for consistent flavor in every bite.

4. Add the NVMe Controller:

   • Place the NVMe Controller in the center of the pie. This will act as the heart of your dish, providing that essential zing.

5. Mix in the DRAM Cache:

   • If you’re using DRAM Cache, sprinkle it over the Flash Memory layer. This will add a delightful richness to your pie.

6. Drizzle with Thermal Paste:

   • Gently drizzle the Thermal Paste over the top layers. This will help bind all the ingredients together and ensure a smooth texture.

7. Bake to Perfection:

   • Place the pie in the preheated oven and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the crust is golden brown and the Flash Memory is bubbling with excitement.

8. Garnish and Serve:

   • Remove the pie from the oven and let it cool for a few minutes.
   • Garnish with a Heatsink on top for that extra touch of elegance.
   • Slice and serve with a side of Firmware updates for added flavor.

Enjoy your NVMe SSD Pie with a cup of your favorite cooling liquid, and remember

Bon appétit! 🍰💻

But i luv pie…

It’s technically possible, if the drives were binned. Not likely, but possible.

Binning is a process where manufacturers take large drives and artificially reduce their size. Let’s say a company makes 1TB drives, but their manufacturing process only reliably works for 2/10 drives. They test each drive, and 8 have a bad sector. Rather than just throwing those drives out, they disable that bad sector. Now you have two 1TB drives, and eight drives that are a lower capacity. Maybe they test the remaining sectors, and another 2 test fine. So now they have two 1TB drives, two 512GB drives, and six lower capacity. They disable another sector on the remaining 6, and try again. They have three test good, and the rest test fine after disabling another sector.

So by trying to manufacture ten 1TB drives, they actually got two 1TB, two 512GB, three 256GB, and three 128GB drives. They’ll sell the 128GB drives at (or even slightly below) cost, just to recoup some of their expenses. They simply don’t want to write them off as a total loss. The 256GB drives get sold slightly above cost, to make a slight profit. The 512GB’s have more markup,!and the 1TB drives will have a high amount of markup to cover future R&D costs. So the 1TB drives are more expensive, not only because the company wants to cover future R&D, but also because they can’t be made reliably.

But then tech improves, and 1TB drives become easier to make. Reliability improves. Now the company is able to reliably make 9/10 functioning drives, and only 1/10 have a bad sector. But this introduces a new problem for the company… Their market research has found that 512GB drives sell the best, while 1TB drives tend to sit on shelves for a while. So if they just ship 9/10 drives as 1TB, the company will actually lose money as stores end up overstocked.

Instead, they bin the drives according to what will sell the best. They know 512GB’s sell the best, so they take 6 of those perfectly functional 1TB drives, and disable a sector to turn them into 512’s instead. Now they’re selling three 1TB drives, and seven (six of the functional 1TB drives, plus the one from earlier that had a bad sector) 512GB drives. To be clear, those six drives would be perfectly functional as 1TB drives, but they have been artificially limited by the manufacturer to boost sales.

So maybe a generic company buys those 512’s, re-enables the disabled sectors, and resells them as 1TB. It’s a gamble, because 1 of those drives for sure has a bad sector and will fail as soon as the user crosses past the 512GB mark. But the scammer doesn’t care about that, because they’re still making a profit on the remaining six. That’s likely what is happening here, with the seller buying binned drives and re-enabling disabled sectors. But the issue is that the 4TB drives are still likely difficult to make. They’re still in that 2/10 range, not the 9/10 range. So there’s a very good chance that all of the drives will fail before the 4TB mark. It’s not 100% certain… It’s possible you get extremely lucky and actually get a good drive that was artificially binned for sales. But the chances are much much better that you just bought a drive that will fail at 2TB, or 1TB, or even 512GB.

I figure it could be mislabeled 1tb or 500gb drives, but I should be able to return them through amazon if it’s not the right thing advertised.

Fuck Amazon, they make everything more expensive or shittier

Only reason I got them was for the return policy, if I saw them on aliexpress or temu I wouldn’t touch them.

This and make sure to use the right test method. Sketchy SSDs will pretend to accept all the data you put in 'em, and then just silently throw away data that’s over their capacity. Use a method that writes and then verifies.

I’ll get a cheapo nvme nvne enclosure to test it first.

Hey, at least it’s not kingston drives 🤪

There is a 0% chance these things are 4tb. A used 4tb 3.5" HDD is more expensive than this.

Fingers crossed

Buy from a reputable vendor?

But they’re not samsung, they’re generic brands :P

My expectations are not high on this. I figured I’d try my luck

I’m just running experiments on my geekworm nas, wont be using itbfor any real storage untill I can get some real nvmes