will spend $500M on being less evil

Yeah… That ain’t gonna do it…

Not as long as their primary revenue driver is advertising. 🤷‍♂️ 🤡 🖕 🖕

I bet breaking the giant up into much smaller pieces would be a more efficient way to make them do less evil

It makes just as much sense as asking a turd to be less stinky, using a tiny fraction of the money it makes attracting flies that can’t get enough of the smell.

Luckily for Google, its predictive AIs were clairvoyant on this one and it has been running at 110% evil so any cuts to evilness do not impact peak evil performance.

Shareholders: Google, be less evil!
Google: As you wish, muahahaha!!!