I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters, I mean it’s probably a testament to the writers but I overthink… a lot.
This question was bright on as I’ve been catching up on The Blacklist and at lunch today watching Season 8 Episode name “Anne “ and it wrecked me.
Tap for spoiler
Basically the main character Red has to live a guarded life and for once he let it form and got close to Anne and you could tell shit was going to go downhill and it destroyed me when you think about it from his or her perspective.
For reference I’m 41 year old dude, not that it matters.
Edit: Bedtime for me but back tomorrow to reply to all.
The older I get, the more I don’t give a fuck and just let go. Interstellar - when Cooper is watching messages from his son… Gets me every damn time.
Growing up, I’d occasionally tear up over a sad movie.
Now that I’m older, I seek out movies that tend to be depressing and tragic. Watching them alone let’s me express a level of empathy or grief that is almost therapeutic. Most mainstream movies that are deemed sad may still only get me to slightly tear up like the past. But I’ve encountered enough indy or slightly lesser know films that fly under the radar and they make me ugly cry.
Being in a vulnerable mindset kind of helps because there are moments where I could probably fight it mentally and hold back my reaction. But if I allow myself to let go, then it’s full on sobbing.
Recent movies that had that effect on me are Drawing Closer, and How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.
It’s not always empathy, somethings its a personal element where I relate to someone on screen and I use them as a conduit to express the emotions I might normally suppress or stoicly ignore.
Very rarely.
works of fiction never made me cry in my previous gender, but ever since i started estrogen it’s been neat going back and rewatching my faves and seeing how much harder they hit emotionally now
Makes one wonder what is hormones vs a shift of the mind to the other side.
Yeah.
Occasionally I’ll come across scenes in an anime that are so out of place but hurt.
Hey fellow 41 year old dude, I also cry at this stuff. It seems especially pronounced when rewatching nostalgic productions with well written characters and conflict (I will not apologize for crying all the time during Avatar the last Airbender, as an adult man). No, I do not know what this means in regard to healthy emotional processing, it just is what it is. Mind you I also get unjustifiably angry or emotional in other contexts when I feel connected to the fate of a character and they experience injustice. So this might be a general marker for some level of empathy or maybe just emotional mimicry. Thanks for posting, I think this is something people should be okay talking about more.
Edit: I wanted to add this also occurs in other mediums, like video games. Cyberpunk 2077 was like a revolution in awareness for me, but largely because I experience DID to a degree in my life, and it really flipped the table of my understanding of myself seeing what I experience through the eyes of others.
The film Click always makes me cry. You know, the comedy where Adam Sandler has a magic tv remote? I’m not gonna go into too much detail on which scene; spoiler tags don’t seem to work on my Lemmy reader, so I won’t know if I’m doing it right. I’m just going to say it’s the scene where he has an important message to deliver to his son. Gets me every time.
And books.
If the story and characters are well written and/or acted well enough to pull you in to the story you can certainly feel empathy and other feelings vicariously.
There is plenty of entertainment that does not pull the viewer/reader in, and you don’t particularly get “involved” with them.
I’d be curious what the line is for most people, what draws them in to a story emotionally to make that investment in a fictional character.
My memory sucks so can’t remember much, but:
The Hunger Games (1) when
Major Spoilers btw
Rue died and Katniss was honoring her, and did the District 12 salute and the scene cuts to District 11 start doing it, then the whole riot scene and it just reminds me of so much of the injustice and tyranny of the world… I just can’t stop crying. I wished we have some of the District 12 - District 11 Solidarity IRL.
I actually remember when, as a kid, I rarely cried about fictional stories, or something even bad events IRL.
But once I go through the existential crisis at 18, I started to actually feel stories, like actually feeling it. I ser deaths, injustice, and tyranny. The “veil of innocence”, as I call it, completely shattered. The world isn’t beautiful, its hell, its horror.
Its actually when you get older, you understand the stories being told.
I feel like there’s a term for it, but I can’t recall it now - it seems like after you have kids, emotional impacts in media can also start to hit a lot harder. I’m not sure if there’s some empathetic response that tends to get strengthened or what, but my wife and I both have things we either can’t watch anymore or don’t process the same way. Like, I decided to start rewatching Star Trek: DS9 a few years ago (a year or two into fatherhood) and got wrecked by the scenes in the first episode where the captain relives losing his wife.
I do. Not very often, but not super rare either.
It can help when I’m miserable, as a form of emotional release.
Mainly on anime for me, I guess, largely because that’s what I watch most. I don’t think I’ve felt that emotional on other film media.
The most recent anime that touched me was Ave Mujica: The Die Is Cast.
Me, and yes it’s normal to have an emotional reaction to media. You want a good cry? Watch Violet Evergarden. That shit’ll wreck you.
I cried like a baby watching Titanic and Interstellar. I also cried at the end of WALL*E
I cry watching space rockets launching.
Me for sure. Every so often, I’ll pull something up just for the sake of some tears.
My go-tos include (in no particular order):
- Avengers: Endgame
- The Fellowship of the Ring
- Patch Adams
- The Deathly Hallows (Part 2)
- Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
- Avatar: The Last Airbender
- The Owl House
- House MD (Season 4 finale)
Probably some more I’m not thinking of, at the moment.
Shoutout to this LIST! 100% certain I’ve been unable to contain my emotions watching all of these. To me that’s a marker for quality, so props on your good taste!
I get teary eyed, but I rarely cry. “The penguin of my life” was my last big challenge, so mean. Great movie though.
And yes, at some point you really want Red to have his little piece of heaven.
I think I am more open for this since I’m older (40s), when I was young I would’ve never let myself be that open.
