Be very skeptical of any “rules” of first dates. This one is definitely bunk.

Lots of people don’t drink.

Lots of people don’t like bars.

Lots of people think dinner/drinks where there is nothing to do but chat is an awful first date. (Hello, this one is me 100%).

Lots of people are conscientious of drinking on a first date with a person they don’t know as a safety measure. (Hello, me again).

Throw in religious/cultural/medical needs on drinking and this “rule” falls apart even faster.

Depends on the people. There aren’t any strict rules. Some people won’t, some will. Some might even end up in bed right after. As long as everyone involved is comfortable with it, it’s fine.

If you aren’t comfortable with drinking on a first date, then don’t. If like me you never drink alcohol, then don’t.
Also depends on the alcohol. Large difference between wine and vodka.

But I haven’t ever dated either, so… Personally I can’t imagine any date that involves any drinks and food. Coffee, I don’t do that either. Tea? Down in one go. Water? Awkward, and also down in one go. Food? Can’t focus on anything else, gotta finish first.

Don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Don’t listen to people giving dating advice.

The answer to this is the same as the answer to most social situations: It depends.

Do you drink now? If not, a first date is probably not the best time to try it out for the first time. If you do drink, but tend to overdo it, pay mind to keep it under control.

Does your date drink? If not, they may not feel comfortable in a bar or other alcohol-centric location.

Do what works for both of you, not what other people enjoy. Choose a location or activity that matches your interests! And, if you suggest something that aligns with what you know about your date, you’re going to score bonus points! If they are outdoorsy, suggest a hike. They like craft beer, suggest a brewery. If they are a gamer, maybe a board game lounge. Anything can be a great first date as long as you both enjoy your time together!

People discussing their opinion is just that: people discussion their opinion. There is no rule, end of the story. No matter how well formalized said opinion may be.

Most people I know meet up for coffee.

I don’t think its uncommon to have a beer at a restaurant or as a drink or dinner. Meeting up at a bar for drinks as a first date feels funky, at least in my region.

If that’s not your jam then probably don’t push into it. A date should be a comfy experience for everyone involved, if possible.

I just drink tea when I go to a bar and need to drive, no one has ever commented about it

I see a lot of good takes here, and I would venture a guess that it also probably varies by what country one is talking about.

Where I live, yes, though we’re pretty much a nation of alcoholics in denial.

Media has taught us that a first date involves drinking in a bar or restaurant, in part because of movie shorthand. (Dinner and drinks is a date, forget the rest of the evening, we just set the stage to imply the rest.)

As many others have said, your normal is your normal. Don’t let society or Hollywood pressure you into dating ‘their way’.

I met my wife on a date at a coffeehouse near here house. We then went to a pizza place across the street. No alcohol involved, but I did bring a board game into the restaurant with us.

The rule is to do what you’re both comfortable with, and see if those things match up. If you’re not up for drinking, then don’t. And recognize that social drinking might be more important to the person you’re interested in.

The only rules that matter are the ones you and your date agree on and largely revolve around where it is you decide to meet. There’s nothing wrong with either of you having a drink if you’re somewhere that serves alcohol. There’s a lot wrong if either of you go on a bender. There’s also nothing wrong with drinking a soft drink too. Or doing an activity based date rather than a food/drink oriented one.

Just communicate openly with each other before the date with an eye towards your dates feelings/perception of safety.

What is expected is that you are kind to your date and spend your time getting to know each other.

OP: what age are you and where are you from?

Absolutely no alcohol on the first date. To me it is a red flag and we probably won’t see each other again.

I am here to see if there is any spark or if I can even stand you in person and vice versa. Alcohol doesn’t help with that and it shows me you probably have a drinking problem.

These kind of things are those you should be picky about when dating. I had to learn this the hard way with two psycho exes in a row. Say no, take your time with the candidates and choose while sober.