My honest question for you is what you think it means to be doing something meaningful?

Frankly, the world these days are filled with suits working jobs they either hate or you’re a dude working a job you like that pays you nothing. We’re not really in a place to help people with platitudes about “making a meaningful life” when there’s no meaning to be had.

But perhaps it’s the absurdist in me who feels this way. For the record, I have an OK programming job, and could probably make more money had I decided to not go into games fwiw.

The only method I suspect works is inception.

Try and engage their hobbies and relate them to something public like an anime festival.

I originally read this as “terminally ill” but my answer doesn’t actually change: unplug them.

Dismantle capitalism so they are free to return to Real Life and stop ignoring reality.

I dont know the whole situation and it sounds like your trying. My closest parallel is, my friends that are kinda introverted.

I have one in my friend group, that thinks the perfect Friday night is air frying chicken and playing Command and Conquer.

Not that i hate that, but just like any good thing it gets tiresome.

So i sometimes spend time asking around for fun stuff to do on the cheap.

A week ago we drove roughly and hour to a OLD, OLD AS SHIT Drive in movie theater. It was $20 for 2 movies and for as many people as you could cram in a car.

It was honestly really fun, watching horror movies with my friends and just dicking around.

I was really introverted when i was younger and my friend is pretty introverted.

My best tip, is to invite somebody they enjoy hanging with something. Then offer them to join, and make it low stress and no schedule.

Thats how the best times with friends happen.

My friend really wasn’t thrilled about going to the movies, but because another friend was going. They wanted to go

We dont go out a whole lot because well shits expensive. But every time they get less introverted, because its not “oh im going somewhere with people i dont like talking to people” its more of “i may not like other people that are gonna be there but my friends are gonna be there”

Heard mentality helps introverts

The road to hell is paved with good intention.

Would try to introduce them to more friends and broaden their social circle.

Working a boring ass shit job doesn’t make you less depressed at not doing anything in life

Have you considered these people don’t consider you to be that important in their own lives? It’s not the job of friends to fix the perceived foibles of their friends, unless a friend actually asks for help.

Friends are just people who enjoy each others company and offer as much or as little emotional support when able/willing. When that stops being the case it’s fine to drift apart.

Also, really take a step back, ‘cause you literally wrote this:

This is a pretty nuanced problem, in my opinion. Here are my thoughts:

1. You’re definitely judging them
2. I don’t necessarily think it’s wrong to judge them, but it would have to be for different reasons than you state. I would judge them for being personally incompatible with the fundamental tenets of society (ie that you contribute to it and act as a good citizen)
3. You can’t change the mind of someone who isn’t open to change. One of the things you’ll need to accept is that most people are only willing to learn from their own mistakes, and a good portion of those aren’t even willing to learn from their own mistakes consistently. You will need to wait until they regret their decisions before change can even be possible. And even then be aware that there’s a solid chance that they’ll still keep doing whatever they’ve been doing
4. It’s good that you’re thinking about this, but on the other hand, it’s not your responsibility to ensure that your friends have good lives. Your responsibility is to yourself, and if you act as though you have responsibility over other people, you come off as nosy, pushy, bossy. Be careful that you don’t confuse advising someone with assuming responsibility over that person.

I tried everything for a couple of friends. similar stories. all I did was damage the friendship irrecoverably.

cut ties with them. dead weight drags you down.

besides, pretty presumptuous of you to think of them as being less than you and in need of you help.

I think a lot of people felt personally triggered by this.

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it

Lol

Offering to hang out once in a while is nice. Without going into fancy considerations, it’s nice

Do be careful when suggesting specific activities, it can feel like you’re telling them what to be (and cause reactance). If you had parents doing it to you, you know the issue

I don’t think the “judging” part matters. They are likely to be unhappy at some point in the future, and if you happen to be proposing something different at that time, they might be more interested. This doesn’t need to be about judgement or respect, having a way into another life should always be desirable (as long as you’re not being an asshole)

note that I am basing this on how I believe I would feel if I was them, and do not have any experience as your “role” here

You can lead the horses to water but you can’t make them drink. Keep offering to hang out, maybe if you’re having a deep conversation ask if this is how they want the rest of their lives to go and if they have ever looked into mental health help (this absolutely may be them struggling to do things and not letting themselves think about that fact). But at the end of the day you can’t improve things for them, you can only offer whatever help you can offer, help if they ask for it, and provide a good alternative.

Also, encourage them to take regular walks. It’s a really good first step to stopping being a shut in. It involves changing scenery, exercise, and places you around other people. Biking or running would be a next step if they’re interested, they can serve as a hobby and cardio and biking can also be a form of transportation around town as well as providing an opportunity to get involved in social rides. Things like that drastically impact mental health

Don’t feel bad for them. Stop judging them while believing otherwise. Mind your own business and stop meddling. Consider that you might be engaging in ableism. Be their friend if they are also friends to you and enjoy yourself with them when the opportunities present themselves. Don’t see anything you do as “enabling them” - it’s not your job to give them tough love or to intervene in any way, unless they are asking you specifically for help. In that case, it’s reasonable to set conditions or limits to the help you may choose to give them.

Not everybody is worried about achieving things in life or living in ways you approve of, their regret isn’t guaranteed, and there are always ways for them to start anew and to live with dignity e.g. like the people showcased on the CheapRVLiving YT channel.

Society isn’t healthy, so it may be wise to direct your energy towards improving it and encouraging others to do the same.