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Transcript

A comic with 9 illustrations

Why Becoming a Parent is Like Having a Crap Character Join Your RPG Party in a Video Game

by @twisteddoodles

  1. A person with a horned helm and a sword next to a small child. A name field hovers over head that reads “A _ _ _ _ END”

You get to name them.

  1. The person covered in soot, their helm on fire fights off a fire bat. The kid is excited.

They are so weak you have to protect them

  1. The person holds a small bag of gold in one hand. The child is now equipped with a matching horned helm and small sword.

You spend all your money on equipment for them

  1. The person stands with a potion in hand held above the child whose face is green. A green skull hovers over the child’s head and sick wavy lines radiate off the kid.

Either that or on potions for all the ailments they pick up

  1. The person’s face is now green and looks unwell. The green skull hovers over head and ominous lines radiate off the persons face. The child looks well and happy.

And then give to you

  1. The person stares unamused at a large and confused orange slime who has just been hit with a rock thrown by the child.

Even though they can’t inflict damage on enemies

  1. The person stares down as the child pokes themselves in the face with their sword.

They are able to inflict damage on themselves

  1. The person reaches for a button that hovers the child. Above the button is the text “Button!”

And are likely to eat dropped items

  1. The person holds hands with the child and both are happy and sunny.

But they level faster than you realize.

And to them you’ll always be a hero