…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?
I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.
My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.
I was told “No, you’re intimidating”. I forget exactly how it became the topic. It was an ex who said it and it was supposed to be a compliment in context. I still don’t understand it especially compared to the friend whom I was with.
I am not tall, not heavy, not particularly muscular (especially at that time) and have soft features. My friend is a head taller, twice my size, built heftier/stockier and had sharper features. He is a big ol hairy Aussie. Awesome guy, no idea how I’d be more intimidating than him though
I was in my early 20s and was visiting a friend’s house. His wife had a friend visiting that I’d never met. We were introduced and the first words she said to me were “Do you know your features are wasted on a guy?” and then went on to provide specific details.
We were married a year later. And that was 30 years ago.
From a French colleague:
“You are the kind of Italian we like in France.”
“Wonderful, but I’m American.”
“I doubt that”
I’ve had something similar quite a few times.
Meet someone, talk for a bit, “where are you from?” u.s. “really? You don’t seem American”
They meant it as a compliment
Is there anywhere in the world where this isn’t a compliment?
I was told my calves were absolutely shredded by an attractive woman. I’ll carry that to my grave.
My dentist (who is also my friend) told me I have great saliva. Fortunately it was while I was getting my cleaning…not in random hang out conversation.
I stick with pretty neutral compliments towards others but probably in my own profession I’ve expressed over the top enthusiasm for remarkably good handwriting or very organized/complete records. I’ve gotten a couple of laughs out of clients because it’s semi-rare and it’s kinda odd to get excited about those things.
I’m pretty sure it was intended as a compliment, but a little after I came out as trans I had a coworker tell me about a conversation she had with another coworker where she said about me, “They always dress better than us.”
A girl sidled up to me at college when I was About 18 and just said “you have beautiful veins”
“I like your butt hair.”
A PTA mom once told me that she’d commit murder for my hair.
A friend of mine said I had a very good hugging-body. I always pictured huggable dudes as big, but I was really lean back then. She said it was because my lanky body somehow automatically fit the shape of her hugs.
Coworker told me I look like Linus Torvalds. I really don’t, not even a little (other than being a white guy with glasses). But it was oddly flattering.
“You’re very handsome for an Asian man.” - My girlfriend’s mom
Just one of those that confirms someone’s biases.
I got my leg fucked up in a hot sandy land far away. While I was doing rehab I used a cane and walked with a limp. One day I was walking out of an HEB in Houston when a dude dressed like Huggy Bear told me he liked my strut and then told me to “keep on pimpen playa.”
In retrospect, it sort of makes sense as my limp with the cane looked like I was doing that stereotypical pimp walk but at the time I was very confused lol
A random black man at the pool yelled at me that I look exactly like Emilio Estevez. I didn’t know what to say
I’ve been complimented on my voice before, and those aren’t weird compliments. But delivery is important. I had a coworker tell me, “Your voice is great!” And of course I’m thankful. But then deadpan, she goes, “You should do ASMR so I can listen to it.”
Now that was a weird compliment.
.
