I’ll go first: r/kitty. One of the hundred grillion cat subs back on Reddit, the culture in this one was you posted a cat picture, and the only word allowed in the title or in any comments or replies was “Kitty.”
Someone is using that subreddit for covert communications, I just know it. Either on the level of “if u/PM_me_your_nostrils posts an orange cat, we attack at dawn!” or there’s some steganography going on with the pictures, but that subreddit was too stupid to be as active as it was.
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Washing machines double as portals to another dimension which is populated by sock loving aliens who want to save the cost of manufacturing their own socks. When socks go missing in the washing machine, the aliens end up getting free and clean ones. The next time you see someone who claims to make washing machines, check if they have an otherworldly affinity for socks.
RESIST ALIEN SOCK THEFT! Use a mesh bag to keep all your socks together in the washer. Human sock retention is everyone’s responsibility!
Silly aliens, they don’t know how to make their interdimensional portal technology resist these dreaded “mesh bags”… Yet! 👽
The world was created somewhen between 2012 and 2 weeks ago by everyone and everything ever called alien(that i know of)
From ancient egyptians, ancient dacians, to cats and Hitler were involved in the creation of the world
Soda bottle caps for newer types of soda fit worse onto the bottles. They’re harder to re-thread on, for example, the new Oreo Coke than they are on the old Diet Coke.
The reason that newer bottle designs are harder to thread is that they’re trying to make people drop the cap, leading to just giving up on re-capping.
This is to reinforce the narrative that people lose their bottle caps.
Which is to lend support for the drive to make caps attached to a little ring on the bottle, like in Europe.
Or maybe it’s to keep you from sealing your drink and having it later. No cap means you finish it or dump it so you have to buy another.
What would be the problem with bottle caps being attached to the bottle?
- It treats adults as children
- It gets in the way
- It’s a reduction of individual freedom, and complementarily, an expansion of government power
Having bottles at all is government overreach. I want you to pour the drink into my cupped hand for me to lap it up. No Big Government is going to tell me I have to use a bottle like a goddamn baby!
If you are serious about your second point you deserve your first. The last one is just hilarious.
Yes I’m serious that the cap gets in the way. It’s ridiculous.
r/cat was like that for a while. Imagine being the database admin being responsible for a billion iterations of the word cat.
I think there are secret grades of retail products and stores get these differently graded products based on the “tier” of store they are. So Dollar General candy maybe didn’t pass QA to be sold at, say, Harris Teeter. I’m not talking about selling a package with less candy in it. I mean, for example, that the candy at the Dollar General may inexplicably have a higher percentage of adulterants or slightly off on flavor so it gets assigned C grade so it goes into packages of candy sold at C grade markets.
It’s probably not a conspiracy so much as I don’t know what industry jargon to search for to find out more information.
I know that some of them have their own in-house brands, which can actually be pretty good especially given the price. But like, they’ve also got national brands in there, like say M&Ms, you think the Mars company sells the M&Ms with off-center Ms to the dollar stores and the centered Ms to Whole Foods?
Or maybe it has more rat parts in the chocolate, but yes that’s the gist of my theory.
NHL and MLS instruct officials to tilt games against Canadian teams
That sounds reasonable.
Sinatra got the mob to murder JFK because of his relationship with Marilyn Monroe.
JFK was a cheater?? Jesus
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
the feds and big corpos are spying on you and the only reason you’re still alive is because
a) you’re a small fish
xor
b) you help them in some way by being a usefull idiot
xor
c) you’re part of the conspiracy
Or d) the wizard of Oz is going broke and can’t keep up with everyone
xor of n values ia true if odd number of them is true, so in your statement it means either one or three should be true
Years ago I had fun with “what if the US never actually went to the moon”. I did not believe it, it was just a nice plot idea, we even made a pen & paper oneshot about it. Nowadays I have no whatsoever fun in thought experiments like this, because the real threat of someone believing it to be true. I want to enjoy “birds aren’t real” or “giraffes do not exist” or … the worst is flat earth. It started out as a joke and now idiots try to proof the earth is flat, proof by accident it isn’t and then question rather their methods than their belief system. We just can’t have nice things.
I swear I remember flat earth being about questioning science and coming to conclusions yourself… As it’s a pretty simple thing to figure out…but I can’t find any information and no one has even mentioned it even starting as something not crazy…
Then somehow flat earthers arrived at designing actual good experiments which demonstrated the earth is indeed round and then rejecting the data they themselves collected.
The moon landings have been faked hundreds if not thousands of times and only done for real 6 times. X-Files Theme
Damn… time for a re-run
That Target’s entry into the Canadian market was designed to fail from the start so that Walmart could swoop in, take over the entire logistics chain and ensure people get to keep their jobs to quell the concerns about Walmart becoming a monopoly in Canada.
Target failed so spectacularly that from my perspective on the inside it had to be by design. When the stores first ooened there was no stock available because we were shipping goods on trailers with no skids, packed floor to ceiling at random then expecting some poor souls in the back rooms of Target stores everywhere (likely with no previous logistics experience) to unload, organize the product into categories on skids and then take them out to the aisles to be put on shelves. We should have been building skids in the warehouses for months until demand settled and could be fulfilled by maximizing trailer efficiency with floor to ceiling loads.
There were an unbelievable amount of blatant inefficiencies and Inventory Control was deliberately understaffed so we ended up with a warehouse with thousands of open rack slots but the system thought the warehouse was full. Multiple layers of this kind of shit were going on and every time we voiced concern about it, management told us to just keep our heads down.
I swear some execs with nice golden parachutes conspired to ensure Target failed so Walmart could swoop in and save the day, breaking through the public concern about monopolization.
I like this one.
Spirit Halloween stores are a front for rich people to laundry money. I heard they make less then what it cost to run. Which makes them a perfect right off for the rich.
laundry money
I was going to let this one slide, but then you went and said:
Right off
🫨
Target is so bad at everything that their continued existence anywhere is the thing that requires a conspiracy theory to explain
You know how some people believe Paul McCartney is dead and was replaced with a body double? I think that happened to Jontron at some point before the incident.
Well now I’m curious the last thing of his I saw was the flex tape video.
Shortly before the flex tape video, he announced he was going to appear in a debate with another Youtuber named Destiny. In this debate, he claimed that “Rich blacks commit more crimes than even the poorest of whites” (direct quote, I shit you not), and that Donald Trump had never said anything racist. It was completely out of left field and shocked pretty much everyone.
My theory is kind of a joke, but I seriously have trouble believing that these are the same person. It was so sudden and so random that I want to believe that there is some other explanation as to why it did. Up until this point, Jontron had stayed fairly apolitical. On the very rare occasion he’d share an opinion on Game Grumps, it would be the most milquetoast moderate thing you’ve ever heard. To jump from that to retweeting actual Nazis for praising him for saying what they believe feels completely insane. It’s easier to accept that there is some sort of sussy imposter imitating him than to believe this just happened.
Turning the serious off for a second, I think that if anyone knows the truth, it would have to be Arin. I don’t think Danny was involved. He might just be blissfully ignorant.
Elon Musk is paying anti-immigration and anti-trans groups like the Tanron network to spread their rhetoric on social media.
Oh wait that one is true. Filthy piece of shit.
As an immigrant.
Cats are aliens from another planet. A much warmer planet with less gravity!
- Nothing else explains why a cat will lay in the sun on a very hot day like it’s nothing at all.
- They also radiate the heat of a small pizza oven.
- They act like we’re their servants in very un-animal-like ways.
- They push things off of places all the time, like they’re expecting them to float not fall.
- They’ll be completely normal, then take off running like their tail’s on fire, just to relish in the high gravity that allows them to jump and land a very short distance away.
I got another one (that’s pretty much a fact) in order to get facial recognision, fingerprint sensors, etc working you have to login with your ms/apple/google acc, on windows 7 you didn’t have to… now why would you need an online connection to setup a piece of physikal hardware with local sofyware??? It’s pretty simple: apple, google and microsoft know your face, your fingerprint, your voice, your location, etc
At least on iPhones, it’s all on-device.
That covid hijacks people’s brains with a parasite that makes them act like it doesn’t exist or isn’t a big deal if it does.
I don’t actually think it’s true, it’s just that if it were, nothing would be different.
