I had a job. The company didn’t realize that they actually had to sell product to stay in business. Almost all of the workforce was let go or furloughed. I’ve been unemployed for over a month now.
I’ve filled out dozens upon dozens of job apps, starting even before I lost my job. I have my resume public on job listings sites for employers and hiring agencies to find, and I’ve sent my resume to employers and hiring agencies directly. I look through the listings on job boards for each day, mostly limiting my search to a wage that would allow me to make ends meet at home. I’ve solicited and implemented advice from resume design experts. I’ve had one in-person interview, a few preliminary phone interviews, and a couple of message conversations between recruiters and myself. The one in-person interview I had would not have paid enough for my monthly expenses and I was overqualified for the position; they decided against hiring me. I had another interview scheduled and confirmed via a hiring agency’s AI text bot and a human agent’s text; I drove to the scheduled interview place and time and they had no idea that I was supposed to be interviewed. All other communication has either been flat-out rejection or just left me hanging.
I have a Bachelor’s of Science degree from a top 25 ranked university in the US. I have no criminal record. I do have multiple disabilities but they are generally mitigable enough to not affect my work. I have references of my (now) former boss and a (now) former coworker who both praise my impact and aptitude in the factory and office workplace. I’m evidently overqualified for positions that don’t require higher experiences and I’m underqualified for nearly everything else; I can’t get experience in most niche or broad fields because nearly every position requires these experiences to have already been met. I try to follow all the invisible rules of applying and social etiquette. I am too physically ugly to sell my body. It feels like there’s always been a magical aura about me that makes people dislike me no matter how much I try to do the ethically or socially right thing. How am I supposed to get an income to survive?
I’ve unfortunately become disillusioned with ableism. There are things I’ll never learn that some other people find easy and there are things I find easy that some others will never learn.
I deleted a 500 if not 1000 word stream of consciousness here, but the gist of what I was trying to get across is that unless you’re interested or naturally talented in something, you’ll never be good at it. Time and time again you’ll see someone with a lot of experience in their field who has no idea what they’re doing. It just doesn’t come naturally and no amount of perseverance will change that. You can certainly become mediocre, just not great.
I spent an hour or two per week for 9 years on drawing, same for singing. I’m no good at either, despite the fact that I was consistently getting practice. Diagnose and repair a car, even a modern one that a lot of old school mechanics would be afraid of? No problem and it’s not even what I do for a living.