You can fit two moles in a liter, but a gopher is too big

Cutting junior employees today sounds like a great option, until 10 years down the road you realize you don’t have any experienced people to backfill the senior employees who are leaving.

I anthropomorphize my reproductive organs too, why should shrooms get a pass?

I can pull a Proton out and put it back in, as long as you’re not observing me

If we had ranked choice or some other system, dems and repubs would both lose to third parties that actually represent the people

You mean it lives on land and in the pond?

Yes

It’s not even a loss. If I pirate it, they lost nothing because I wasn’t going to buy it anyways.

Hi, it’s me, I’m the problem it’s me

One time we were babysitting my little cousin. We had a rabbit roaming in the kitchen, and cousin was eating breakfast. Next thing, I hear him saying “that’s not a raisin!”

We were getting new phones, and decided to go with the Motorola Moto G. It has an SD card slot, headphone jack, and doesn’t advertise around having ai built in. Great battery life too.

I love being in a twink!

The caterpillar of the pink underwing moth, for anyone else wondering

A herpetoligist collects reptiles. Someone who collects herpes is called your mom.

I’ll grab my toque while you grab the Timmy’s and I’ll meet you at the snow machines, ya hozer!

Or something like that. I grew up a yooper.

Hauk looks perfect, thanks!

The turtle moves!

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

Hail!

Sour like a raspberry, but more blue