I know there have to have been even weirder ones I got over the years, but what stuck with me is when a nurse in a psych ward psychiatric clinic called me (a patient) being like a “weird, confused professor” as a genuine compliment.

Strangely enough, this is often the exact other way around for me, but it heavily depends on the true crime documentary. Horror movies, for the most part, leave me apathetic. My brain has problems to suspend disbelief for them - especially when they rely on supernatural elements. So many horror movies are more enjoyable surreal films, while reading or hearing about truly horrible events in real life can disturb me quite a lot sometimes.

Oh, wow, another book for the reading list :O

Am surprised that I genuinely hadn’t heard of him, just highlights the point the article is making.

You could argue that it’s based on semantics, though. If you go by a different definition of star, more colloquially, planets like Venus and Mars are visible as “stars” in our solar system.

Nope, after reading the article, it seems she was a student destined to be used for PR by the school and probably also for sucking up to donors. No humanity allowed, twerking is of the devil and such stuff.

When the short insurrection by Wagner was going on, I had hoped so much that Prigo and Putin somehow annihilate each other, or at least the hardliners in military and mercenaries perish in infighting. Sadly, all we got was confusion on that day.

At least if Prigo’s death now ends up being confirmed, there won’t be that much confusion on why it happened, only some details will remain unclear.

Yeah, I’m pretty happy with the sorting algorithm in general for the way content gets presented, but some weighting to better include smaller communities would be great. Lemmy is still struggling with getting a critical mass in users to support niche interests, and a better post sorting could help a bit at least.

Some sort of humanist atheism/existentialism? I guess…

As a teenager and young adult, I used to be very interested in cosmology and astrophysics, to the point I wanted to study it at uni. The vastness of the world and existence seemed like a beautiful enigma. I was also always interested in philosophy, which ended up more lasting than my interest in physics.

After growing older, the vastness of nature and existence seemed more and more haunting than beautiful. If there was something like a God, it had to be a mad idiot god. I actually kind of sympathised with Gnosticism and similar thoughts for a while, but I could not believe in a metaphysical, perfect entity waiting even further behind everything. I could not believe in some sort of salvation, that could just come to us by giving up on materiality. It seemed like an empty self-delusion. Similarly, I respect Buddhism a lot, and think there is a lot of good ideas within it, but it’s ultimate life-nonaffirming philosophies and focus on avoidance of suffering did not resonate with me.

Looking at the history of our planet, our universe, and humanity, it seemed clear to me, that existence just stumbles along. We are a “mistake” in a vastness of empty, dumb, boring clouds of hydrogen and dust, nuclear furnaces and holes in reality, devoid of meaning. Life felt more and more to me, like a great rebellion against a vast, seemingly all-encompassing nothingness. No aliens in sight either, that could relieve us of our burden. Just humanity, as the one lifeform so far known to us, that at least has the potential to not fall into the traps of self-annihilation and lifelessnes that permeates our past and present. Just humanity with the responsibility of getting our shit together or life eventually being just reincorporated into the vast, dumb nothing of the “idiot god”, so to speak.

All the mistakes of humans felt to me more and more like just extensions of the same stupidity that is also manifest in all of nature. And our struggle against it, feels like a sort of “sacred duty”. Those loaded words to illustrate, that I’d think of myself as actually having strong faith in a weird way, even though it is not rooted in the supernatural as such.

It’s also evident to me, this faith has at least partially persisted for me as an anchor for myself. I have not been suicidal ever since I felt that way, even though for most of my life I have been struggling with trauma and a variety of mental health disorders, and have been suicidal before. I could not think of that anymore, suffering seemed almost meaningless to me, now, and it feels better to endure it than to give in to the vast nothingness without a fight, without trying to create as much good as possible in this small contingent miracle that is life, that has been brought forth by so much struggle and so many seemingly impossible coincidences, chance and “mistakes”.

I have a big aversion against beliefs that put faith into higher powers, be it nature or God or some sort of transdimensional aliens or whatever. I try to analyse beliefs like that not with disdain, though, but as results of how we are caught in the world we are, in our circumstances, and how life itself has had to “trick” existence itself into allowing life to exist, by follwing its rules but also emergently transcending them, creating something new from it, that is more than the sum of its parts.

Politically and philosophically it lead me to Marxism and Hegel respectively. Marxism with it’s focus on changing our material foundations and dynamics, in order for us to be able to develop our humanity and be able to act more rational in the grand scheme lends itself well to it. Hegel, with looking at the development of ideas and humanity dialectically, developing something until it reaches the limit of its own contradictions also appealed to me.

Sorry for the wall of text, the question caught me in a somber mood and caused me to monologue.

I was, and am, skeptical, but I also must admit, the potential breakthrough is teasing my psyche with that feeling of just wanting it to be real. A part of me hopes that maybe it will still end up confirmed by other peers, but, granted, it was a low chance even when the news first came out.

Yes, they really are the heartbreak pet. My best friend had some for most of her adulthood, and the recurring heartbreak, feelings of responsibility for them and also just vet bills both took a toll on her. All of them were awesome, intelligent, full of character and cute, but it is an emotionally taxing pet to have, for those reasons.

While the incident of the violence itself could have happened with the deputy unaware of brutalising a trans man, with the article not showing indications of this being the primary motivation, his treatment while in custody clearly shows further relevant mistreatment.

To play devil’s advocate, it is perfectly possible that person genuinely saw it as that. Eyewitnesses in chaotic situations are inherently untrustworthy and prone to misinterpret things and even create false memories when questioned. Especially if it was someone that, naively, still trusted in cops for some reason, it’s easy for the mind to create some assumed aggression by the victim, because only that way their worldview can remain intact (“a police officer wouldn’t have been that brutal without good cause” as an assumption, basically.)

Still, I agree, it is wild. Especially since even the bastard assaulting the driver here didn’t claim that. And I agree, it is also very much possible it was an overzealous fascist that just wanted to cover for the cops in a way more zealous than the cops themselves by consciously lying.

“Journalists”

I’ve had conversations with one of my friends during some of my lowest points, and I remember him saying once: “I wonder how many mental illnesses could be cured by just giving people enough money to live comfortably.” There is some great truth there.

Hang in there, if not just for yourself, then for loved ones and for all the people that share your frustrations and struggles, there always is the possibility of change, there are years in which weeks happen and weeks in which years happen, and behind every strike lurks the possibility of revolution - as soon as opportunity arises, your frustration and helplessness can be directed towards change.

That’s at least one thing that keeps me sane.

I am blessed to have two friendships that I have been able to maintain even through times of depression and paranoia, mostly because they are stubborn and forgiving enough to stay with me and reach out, even when my delusions of having to isolate from everyone because I am too horrible and bad to deserve friendships kick in. It’s a privilege I know isn’t guaranteed in life and I am so damn lucky that the mess I have comes with them.

If you are going through tough times and don’t have anyone at the ready, I know it can be hard, don’t give up. There’s the professional stuff like therapists, emergency hotlines, self-help groups and, yes, sometimes even strangers on the internet can be enough to give you a necessary mirror to at least lessen any delusional self-hatred and hopelesness that can creep up. Reaching out can be hard and seem impossible, but it is possible, and it is worth it - you are worth it.

It’s pretty telling a platform like YouTube really only gets fully enjoyable with an adblocker, sponsorblock and this. I wish PeerTube had a lot of good creators, but last time I checked (years ago, admittedly) it was mostly conspiracy theorists and cryptobros.

Thanks for the offer, but for the proper effect you’d have to fall in love with me for a few years, then break up with me, with me getting weirdly clingy and longing in the following “trying to be friends” phase, slowly realizing what a bad influence I had been in your life and crashing into the realization that it was pure hubris of me to think I could be deserving of love and in a healthy relationship to begin with. That sort of messed-upness doesn’t come that easy.

I had conversations with my ex on there so on the one hand, it is good I can’t return any more to torture myself with reminders of what a piece of shit I am, but on the other hand my psyche irrationally feels despair because it cannot return to torture myself with reminders of what a piece of shit I am

I would have done so, but unfortunately, I couldn’t read your advice

Linking to lemonparty and saying “seized by reddit” strikes me as the playbook of an old 4chan troll/raid, trying to instigate more drama between two places they both hate at once.