I’m 25 and have yet to have a proper drink. Most people in my country started illegally drinking at 13-15 years old while out clubbing, but I just hate alcohol so much! I never understood the hype around it. I don’t even like it when there are a couple of teaspoons in my sorbet. I’ll have a tropical mocktail or soda, thank you.
I have a question: for those of us who aren’t tech-savvy, is there a way to get away from the Material Design UI? As a designer, I absolutely hate it! I tried playing around with the settings but it still looks too Google-ish for me. I find it boring, rigid, and oldfashioned. When I open the app, I don’t feel ‘excited’ to browse through the app. I want to feel compelled into clicking a button, upvoting/downvoting, sending a reply comment, and so on. I think if the UI was made to look more fun, it would attract a lot more users. Part of the experience of an app is the appearance and interactivity.
Finally, someone said it. He’s too honest for his own good. He doesn’t lie; the people around him do. He just repeats what he’s told and what he believes. He flipflops his opinions and plans every 2 seconds because that’s how long it takes to convince him or a new idea. He doesn’t have the mental capacity to lie.
Oh, that’s devastating for that person… I hate that people are made to feel like their life sucks so much that the only escape is by ending it… when in reality there nothing wrong with them, but the people around them. That girl deserved to live freely and loved. I hope her parents eventually realise(d) that their daughter’s fate was because of their actions and that they have blood on their hands.
I absolutely agree with the rest. They shouldn’t be given full adult rights and autonomy, but they should at least be given some. They have an agency, and it’s not always naive, immature, and uneducated. Some parents fall into those traps themselves. They’re in no position to judge someone just because that person is simply younger than them.
As a society, we’re still so far behind on being progressive on either of the two, but I dream that one day, the transgender community will be as normalised as those who identify as gay. The sheer amount of death threats and rape threats that transgender people receive for simply not aligning with their outer body is insane! It’s so dystopian, I can’t understand how it doesn’t click to people how batshit crazy it is!
I’m glad that you’ve found a belonging. I’ve recently rediscovered the importance of grassroot movements, NGOs, and small communities since I started reflecting on what I can do to help the current global issues. Having a support group can make a significant change on how a person views not only themselves but others too. May no minority group feel isolated 🫶 And you’re right; family isn’t defined by blood but by unconditional love.
I appreciate the support. It’s been an emotional journey, but I’m proud of myself for making an effort to stay authentic and to stand up for what’s right. The anxiety, the fears, the anger, and the tears have all been and continue to be worth it. I’d do anything to guarantee a liberated life for everyone.
If I had less empathy and more guts, I would. I actually tried it once, and those around me accused me of being divisive, overly sensitive, and cold. They claim my problem is that I can’t handle other people’s opinions. I live abroad and had to break the no-contact approach to visit family, and my mum started bawling her eyes out begging for a renewed relationship.
The reasons I went NC were her Facebook-led brainwashing and her sending a petition link to ban gender-affirming care for children to my boyfriend (she says it was an accident but I’m infuriated that she sent that link to anyone, not just because it was sent to my boyfriend, unlike what others think). Even my boyfriend couldn’t understand at first that it’s not just about me seeing what she thinks, but about me having a relationship with someone spreading and causing harm to others. His solution was to just tell her that I don’t want to hear about her opinions on social media, but I asked her to choose between her dangerous conspiracy theories and our relationship. Her response was, “You know what my opinions are,” and so I replied, “Well then you’ve made your decision,” and blocked her. It was easy to be NC with her until it was time to visit my family. She later sent a message to my boyfriend, which included the phrase something to the effect of, “Maybe when she matures, she’ll learn how to be more tolerant.”
I’ve figured that the only way to maintain both a somewhat idea of peace and my sanity is to completely ignore all negative aspects of my mother. I pretend that I don’t know what her ideologies are and that whoever I went NC with is another person. It’s depressing, and whenever I think about it I get livid all over again, but I feel like I can’t escape it “because we’re family” 🙄. I never talk about politics or social issues with my mother, and I cut her off if she initiates such conversations. She tried to push to have her say but I tried not to fall for the trap and tell her, “If you say one more thing about this topic, I’m going to leave because I won’t allow myself to be in a place where my boundaries aren’t respected.” I’ve grown very good at just getting up and leaving, and yes people do think it’s rude and stubborn but I don’t care.
What “helps” me is knowing that she’s not intrinsically like this. She’s a very sensitive and kind person, but she’s been brainwashed and indoctrinated into falling for the propaganda of drag queens forcing transitions on children and TV shows manipulating children into homosexuality. When you dive deep into it, we have very similar values: protect the innocent and vulnerable; no one deserves to die for their identity; the government lies to you all the time, and so on. The difference is that my basis is Liberalism and scientific facts and her basis is religious teachings and Facebook comments. I’ve turned my focus from trying to debunk her claims and calling her out to treating her as a mindless sheep. I try to educate her on how to use critical thinking skills, how to spot red flags in the media, and different perspectives, philosophical arguments, and so on. I truly believe that one of the biggest obstacles for these people who don’t want to be evil but are complicit in evil acts is the lack of education and cognitive skills. I don’t have much hope for her ever being progressive, but I do hope I can at least get her to catch nonsense claims and predatory propaganda.
I know that she doesn’t want to be evil because she doesn’t wish harm in the way that neo-nazis do. She doesn’t want the LGBTQI+ community to be slaughtered and she understands that many of them need support, but she doesn’t think that it’s not a choice and doesn’t agree with encouraging that lifestyle (i.e. doesn’t want to legalise equal rights). She doesn’t want women who get abortion care to be stoned to death or for women to be forced to give birth if they’re dying, but she’s been taught to believe that women use it as a contraceptive, that foetuses have the same rights as people, and that abortion leads to fertility and psychological issues. She doesn’t want people to die from viruses, but she’s recently become scared of vaccines and sceptical of their development and side effects (she vaccinated us). She agrees that huge corporations are stealing her data and spreading misinformation, but she’s not ready to give up Facebook for it. She wants to feed the hungry, but she believes that charity is the only solution for it.
… I keep dreaming of a world where my mum doesn’t get brainwashed in the first place and becomes a progressive Liberal… 🤦♀️
Neither are the school staff and the government though. Ultimately, the students know their parents more than the others. It’s not necessarily about what is best for them, but what is the safest for them. We can’t assume the parents want the best for their children; some parents want the best for themselves or their god before their children’s interests.
(This of course given that students shall be provided mental health and professional care, not just left to wander this new phenomenon alone)
Remember how shocked everyone became when it was revealed that some rich dudes enjoy watching torture videos and paedophilia? Maybe we should treat this the same (I mean better, because nothing was done for the former). It should scare the U.S. population that their president enjoys murdering people – enough to take it seriously and take real action against it.
I’ve never had to face what it’s like to be transgender. But I am what most would classify as “bisexual.”
I didn’t tell my mother about my sexual orientation until I was pressured to by my extended family at the age of 17. My mum is a religious Conservative who believes the LGBTQI+ community is a bunch of brainwashed kids having sexuality forced upon them from TV shows and drag queens. I didn’t feel comfortable then, and it was scary, and the more I get to know my mum, the more I regret telling her. Now I know that every time she spews bigotry, she’s doing so with the knowledge that I’m in the group she’s targeting. Her knowing that her daughter, whom she raised and thought of as “normal” didn’t stop her from spreading misinformation and fear-mongering. She treats me well, but she doesn’t accept my whole self no matter how much she says she does. She still disregards my identity as nothing more than a trend for the mentally ill. She once told me, “Yeah, yeah, I know you think you’re bi,” meaning she doesn’t actually believe I am but that I have been brainwashed to think I am.
So even though it’s not the same experience, I understand what it’s like having an extremely personal piece of information about your identity – that you’re still getting used to yourself – being shared, with scary potential outcomes. I can imagine how even scarier it would be for someone in this situation to be transgender. While the general public has made some progress with the LGBTQI+ community, transgender people are still not safe.
Knowing about cases like Brianna Ghey (she was murdered by “friends,” not her parents) breaks my heart. I can only imagine how terrifying it is to just exist as a transgender person in this world. Just because someone is your parent, doesn’t mean that they will protect you any more than strangers or friends. Sometimes parents don’t have your best interests at heart and can be your biggest bully.
Having such danger forced upon a CHILD is absurd. If it were up to me, I would leave it up to the student involved whether or not to share this information with their parents. It’s not a medical condition, and children aren’t properties of their parents. While I understand that some would want to be there for their children, some don’t love their children unconditionally and would choose religion over their children any day. I think a student would know more about their parents’ likely response than the school staff (who only see the parents for brief moments) and the government. I don’t feel comfortable with this decision excluding the students’ autonomy. They’re not pets; they have a voice and personhood that should be respected.
Shouldn’t it be left in the hands of those most affected, the students involved? Why are we letting older people decide if their personal information should be forcibly shared or not? Most of them are capable of knowing the gravity of their parents’ knowing, or at least they know if their parents would be supportive or not. I would ask the student, “Do you agree with me informing your parents about this and discussing it together?” Most of them would probably say no, and that’s okay.
How people have one is beyond me, both from a moral and a financial point of view.
Ah yes, the good ol’ loving God wants you to slaughter his own childr---- WAAAAAIIIITTT A MINUTE!!
Yeah sorry, we already have free and universal healthcare so I didn’t think of it 😅 But you’re right! My mind boggles at how terrible the healthcare system is in the US. I feel awful for people with chronic conditions and vulnerable situations, especially. The fact that the most reliable option is not to be insured and hope that you won’t ever get seriously injured or sick is depressing. The people who oppose universal free healthcare and those who deny healthcare to the less fortunate are evil. I know it’s obvious, but Luigi Mangione (or whoever it was) did a good thing. I wish it were all of them, but at least he got you rid of one asshole.
Oof, where do I begin?
I’m tired! 😩 We’ve normalised unhealthy, unsustainable, and elitist lifestyles way too much! There are ways to be successful, happy, stylish, and joyful without these things. Many countries are already committing themselves to such efforts, so I know I’m not asking for much. I understand freedom of choice, and I’m usually quite libertarian, but some things just bring temporary fun and no benefits at all. In fact, some harm those around us too.
Renewable energy, electric cars, second-hand retail, artisanship, fair trade, multiculturalism, science-based education based on facts and credible sources, government transparency and accountability, a true democracy where the electoral candidates actually represent their party’s base and voters don’t feel hopeless, economic equality, socialism, natural fibres in fabrics, simple and natural food, therapy, mindfulness, healthy homemade packaged food, and kids staying off social media needs to be good again!
If it wasn’t obvious enough where this wannabe Nobel Prize winner stood on the morality and integrity spectrums…
I understand how it can be miserable, especially if one has been raised in an environment where marks and discipline.
Potato potato…
Not exactly. I get OP’s point. I’m 25 so I’ve experienced both, and they weren’t the same for me.
School is more about the experience and the journey than the results, or at least that’s what it feels like. It’s the place where you get to spend time and joke around with your friends while developing knowledge together. Your teachers form genuine connections with you, and most of them do care about your well-being and development. If you’re lucky, you get to have a mini party on your ride home with fellow students singing and dancing on the school bus. You get to go on fun outings and field trips. You’re ultimately responsible for no one but yourself, and every day yoy learn something new.
With work, there’s a very hostile environment. Everyone has a huge ego problem, your boss makes it clear that they’re not your friend, you’re forced to collaborate and be friendly to your colleagues even though you may not like some. You can’t just decide to take a day off because clients and colleagues are depending on you. It can be monotonous and stressful. Your only social activities are probably icebreakers or eating out on a day that’s supposed to be relaxing (like Christmas holidays and whenever you’re nearby). You have other responsibilities when you get home as well, which aren’t a sports club or music lessons but chores and admin stuff.
I know not everyone’s experience is the same. For some, school is where they met their worst bully and had a miserable time whereas work was where they met their best friend and had fun. This is just me explaining why I relate to OP in our view of school vs work.
School didn’t even feel obligatory for me, it was just a planned fun day. I enjoyed most of it: the teachers, the students, the timings, the duties. I even enjoyed some of the homework (and I hate the idea of homework)! There were little tasks that seemed exciting like taking the attendance to the administration’s office, going around picking up each class’s donations and consent forms, decorating the classroom door for the Christmas competition, getting the keys for the teacher from their staffroom, going next door to borrow a marker, doing group presentations, and being my turn to read the class book, and so on. Work usually lacks these little everyday tasks and just focuses on earning the company money and being professional. It kills joy and personality.
Not that i’d ever want to talk to him, but I wonder what he thought of death given his wealth, power, and apparent obsession with eugenics, and the fact that he was facing life imprisonment. I wonder if he evee even thought about how long he wanted to live or how he would go.
Honestly, same. She’s not as radical as yours, but I had this idea that my mum was clever, sensible, and capable of critical thought. She used to read a lot, made better political arguments compared to my dad, and somehow managed to raise her children into smart individuals. The combination of me growing up, her getting addicted to Facebook, and the pandemic warped my perception of who my mum really was. She forms emotionally-driven opinions, she jumps to conclusions, she’s gullible, and she’s close-minded.
I don’t think she would ever justify killing someone, but she’s suddenly anti-vax, she’s anti-choice and would vote for anyone who vows to maintain that culture, she’s obsessed with drag queens and transgender people, and she gets her news from Facebook. All of her comments involve the phrase, “I’ve seen the comments on Facebook.”
In 2024, I decided to cut contact with her because she kept spreading misinformation and sharing petition links to ban gender-affirming care. And in addition to that, she was preaching about the Olympic ceremony being blasphemous and “woke.” My reason for going no-contact with her was that I couldn’t bring myself to maintain a relationship with someone who made other people’s lives dangerous. Everyone took her side and accused me of causing a drift and being immature because I couldn’t handle other people’s opinions, apparently.
I ended up talking to her again after a couple of months because I visited my family and I couldn’t avoid her. She was going through a tough time and she was crying so I gave in. I still have a relationship with her but only because I actively choose to live as if I don’t know those details about my mum. She’s otherwise a good person; she donates to charity and she cares about democracy, the environment, and her children. But whenever I remember the kind opinions that she has, I get angry all over again. It sucks because she was indeed more sensible, but her brain got rotten by social media…
That’s true. I was more so talking about his current term. The cognitive decline is insane.