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Cake day: June 13th, 2023

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  • We’re making history today. A tremendous history, okay? No one’s seen anything like it. We’re standing here at the Rubicon, a little river, not a big one, but it’s about to become a big deal. A huge deal. Why? Because once we cross it, we’re going to make Rome great again. Believe me, it’s going to be tremendous.

    The Senate? You know them. They’re corrupt, they’re weak, and quite frankly, they’re failing. Same with Lyin’ Praetor Harris. Everyone knows it. The people know it, the soldiers know it. They sit there, with their fancy togas, eating grapes, while the rest of us, the real Romans, are out here fighting the real battles. It’s disgraceful. But that’s going to change, and it’s going to change big league.

    Now, they’ll say I’m breaking the rules. ‘Oh, Consul Trump can’t cross the Rubicon. That’s against the law!’ Well, guess what? The rules are rigged! They’re rigged against us, the people, the soldiers who built this empire. And let me tell you, I’ve dealt with rules before. I know how to win. We’re going to cross this river and we’re going to win so much, you’re going to get tired of winning.

    The Senate? They’re scared. They’re afraid of what I’ll do. They’re afraid I’ll drain the Tiber of all their corruption, all their bad deals. And you know what? They should be scared. Because when we get to Rome, it’s going to be different. Very different. The Republic? A mess. But I’m going to fix it. These so-called leaders, they say I’m a dictator, they say I’m doing something unprecedented. Well, was it unprecedented when Marius took over? When Sulla marched on Rome? No. And you know what? They weren’t half as successful as me. They weren’t even close. We’ve got the best legions, the best generals, the best people. No one builds legions like we do. It’s a fact.

    So here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to cross that Rubicon, and once we’re in Rome, we’re going to give the power back to the people. Back to you. Not the crooked politicians, not the elites. We’re going to rebuild the temples, strengthen the economy, protect the borders—you know the barbarians, they’re pouring across. It’s a mess. But we’ll fix it. We’re going to build a great wall across the Rhine. And who’s going to pay for it? The Gauls. Believe me.