But … What does one do with 22 tonnes of cheddar? Is there a cheesy black market? Can you buy a wheel off a guy for Bitcoin?

The FCC governs all (non-government use) frequencies in the US - terrestrial and satellite.

However, the emergency waiver probably has more to do with the cell bands than satellite. Normally the cell frequencies are heavily regulated and planned to avoid interference between carrier towers. Having a satellite suddenly start broadcasting on the frequencies that your phone uses is going to confuse the neck out of the terrestrial network - unless that network happens to be washed away by a flood.

I put trash on the curb knowing the kids next door will pick it up and use it. They love to score new stuff, and I love seeing an old bicycle or chair getting new love.