It depends.

• Sometimes it’s because of structural Anglocentrism making it harder to get an acting role with a foreign-sounding last name (e.g. “Ramon Antonio Gerard Estevez” becomes “Martin Sheen” or “Ilyena Lydia Vadilievna Mironov” becomes “[Dame] Helen Mirren”)

• Sometimes it’s just a matter of cropping a name or two (“Philip Anthony Hopkins”)

• Sometimes it’s just about sounding cooler (“Eric Bishop” becomes “Jamie Foxx” or “Caryn Elaine Johnson” becomes “Whoopi Goldberg”)

• And sometimes it’s because there’s already a SAG member with your name (“Diane Hall” becomes “Diane Keaton” or “Michael Douglas” becomes… “Michael Keaton”)

looks like you need to read more junji ito

Okay, fine. Monster (2004)'s Johan Liebert.

Shepard Lambert in Would You Rather?, played by Jeffrey Combs.

• Gimme More (SID) [Machinae Supremacy covering Britney Spears]. MaSu’s vibe strips away the hyperclean polish to deliver something much closer to the raunchy, voyeuristic feel of the song’s lyrics. The fact that they’re a really good band also helps.

• F*ck Tha Police [Dope covering NWA]. I’ll admit, this one is just personal preference. Please don’t crucify me.

• Battle Hymn [Beast in Black covering Manowar].

• Down with the Sickness [Ai Mori & Violet Orlandi covering Disturbed].

• Army of the Night [Amaranthe covering Powerwolf].

• Ballroom Blitz [3TEETH covering The Sweet].

• Got The Time [Anthrax covering Joe Jackson].

• Bring The Noise [Anthrax on the track with Public Enemy]. Going back to the original is like driving a Ford Model T.

It comes close:

• Breaking the Law [Fightstar covering Judas Priest]. Halford is too iconic to beat, but Fightstar’s apocalyptic world-weariness lends itself well to their take on the song, as opposed to the original’s unserious attitude.

I’d say it’s hard to beat original War Pigs, but T-Pain’s version comes close.

ECB is awesome.

someone has an opportunity to do something really funny

oh my god that show

Acidic Vaginal Liquid Explosion Generated by Mass Amounts of Filthy Fecal Fisting and Sadistic Septic Syphilic Sodomy Inside the Infected Maggot Infested Womb of a Molested Nun Dying Under the Roof of a Burning Church While a Priest Watches and Ejaculates in Immense Perverse Pleasure Over His First Fresh Fetus, or Xavlegbmaofffassssitimiwoamndutroabcwapwaeiippohfffx for short.

Honourable Mentions: Anthrax (less bad than others but still awkward when mentioning the band in casual conversation), Shotgun Willy (solo artist)

Guessing from the reviews on Scream 3 and Scream VII, I’d say there are exceptions.

We generally call those wars and plagues.

He’s a reverse “separate the art from the artist” to me. Wonderful guy in interviews, “Shape of You” makes me want to rip my own spine out.

I’m at least glad Doechii got the phenomenal “Denial is a River” to be a major hit a few months before that one, because can you imagine having “Anxiety” be your one hit?

i can’t think of a single person on the planet who enjoys dance monkey, but considering how popular it is, there has to be someone out there. i fear the kind of person that is.

anything by Drake. not just because of his controversies, but because his lyrics are groan-inducing, his beats are passable at best, and his voice is the result of a failed government experiment to inject koala DNA into the Canadian population

oh thank god i thought i was the only brainrotted person here

“BROKEN ENGLISH” by SCHAFT. The rest of their work is great, but still.

satan particle