This may or may not be inspired by the nebula original abolish everything, a show I have not watched.
Pouring cereal before the milk.
Wait, what?
ಠ_ಠ
Pouring milk on top of the cereal means the cereal at the top is going to get pushed down a little and get soggy more quickly. Pouring milk over cereal is an atrocity that must be abolished.
The inconsistency of apostrophe usage in English for possessives and contractions. If it was instead written…
It-s a wonderful day out today, take your phone but turn off it’s data so you can soak up the clear blue skies.
It’d be so much fucking easier and my OCD would be satiated.
It-s
Thanks I hate it. Also wouldn’t the “it’s” be ‘its’ without apostrophe at all?
Eh - I thought dash was a pretty reasonable symbol for “There’s a contraction here” I don’t really care about the actual symbol as long as we stop using the same symbol for contractions and possessives. In my sample
It-swould currently be writtenIt'sand theit's(a possessive) would beitsif that’s what you’re asking.Possessives always get an apostrophe outside of weird exceptions where they clash with contractions. I’m proposing we fix that. Also - let’s bring back mass possessions like “At the bake sale Moms’ baked goods are always delicious”
“Its” is much easier to remember as possessive if you understand it’s a possessive pronoun, like his, hers, ours, and theirs. No apostrophes in any of them.
I don’t understand what you’re saying about “mass” possessives. That never went away, except for people’s who don’t know how to do it correctly.
It’s just a matter of taste I guess. But now I’ve given it a thought and I honestly don’t get it, you want to replace the apostrophe because it has two uses (three if you count that some people like myself use it as quotes as well) with the hyphen that has many more uses like compound words, prefixes, ranges, dates, divided words at the end of a line…
Not the hyphen specifically - just a distinct symbol for contractions.
So an n-dash? Which is arguably indistinguishable from a hyphen unless you put them together, so most people just use hyphens. Or another dash-like character in between?
I mean to each their own, if you like it you like it. I’m not saying your way is bad or worse, I’m just a nerd who also likes to use punctuation in a peculiar and personal way. Just to be clear that this is a light-hearted conversation and not a ‘yOu aRE WroNg!’ kinda thing. :)
To be honest I think we could just ditch the apostrophe in contractions altogether. I cant think of a situation in which itd make anything less clear. At worst there are perhaps uses of the fairly rare non-contraction verb “cant” that wouldn’t be immediately clear
I’d be cool with that - I don’t care how we mark contractions just as long as we stop reusing apostrophes for it.
The stock market.
But how will I know if I’m rich or poor without a nasdaq score telling me how the rich are feeling?
No more internet gaming, all multiplayer gaming must be local, so that you can actually get your dumb ass up from the chair and punch (or be punched) by others, like our ancestors intended.
The need to pee at night.
Motion-sensing faucets in public bathrooms. I feel like there is somebody behind the mirror trolling me every time.
I don’t understand why they don’t just have a foot pedal to activate those things. You could make an argument for handicapped people, but you could just have one sink use conventional knobs.
Teenagers. Just ship 'em off somewhere between the ages of 13 and 18. Pouty, Self-entitled, disrespectful shits.
Maybe they are like that because we already ship them off to indoctrination camps between ages 7-13.
That is an incredebly cruel thing to say about developmentally challenged people.
Unless it was part of it, multiple levels of packaging.
Open up a bag of chips. It’s bag, then chips. Perfect world.
Open up a box of cookies from hell. Open up the box. Open up the freshness seal bag. Pull out the individually wrapped cookies, and open those too.
Straight to jail. No question.
Property taxes. Land value taxes are just better.
First, I’ll abolish your milk
Then, I shall abolish your VIRGINITYPeople saying “blog” when they mean post. You did not write a new blog on your blog, you wrote a new post on your blog.
You do not drive your car on the car. You drive your car on the road.
Do people still have blogs?
Totally. Whole businesses have sprung up for running and monetizing them. Check into Ghost, WordPress and WooCommerce, Memberful. Lots of other options.
Mosquitoes.
This is one I can get behind.
The now ultra-common usage of “whenever”, when they actually mean “when”.
I can’t fucking stand it. But it’s everywhere now. I have no idea how it got so common but I’m surrounded by people who use it incorrectly.
I wonder if I’m using it incorrectly now.
We can go to the cinema whenever you like.
That is how I would use it. And I would use when like, when did you go to the cinema?
You’ve used it correctly! An incorrect usage would be:
“Whenever I go to the cinema, I get popcorn.”
Huh…
I would use that too, so I decided to search it up and this is what I found.
When is used for a specific time or single occurrences.
Whenever is used for repeated events or entries with uncertain dates or times.
So your example seems like it should be whenever, as it’s not talking about a specific time but more every time they go.
You’re correct that it’s not grammatically wrong, but a subtle semantic mis-match. Let’s bring in the difference between “every time” and “whenever”. While “when” and “every time” are interchangeable, “whenever” and “every time” are not. “Every time” is exact and without fail, while “whenever” implies unpredictability or indifference to the exact location.
“When (strongly implied every time) I go to the theater (exact location), I get popcorn.”
“Every time (explicitly) I go to the theater (exact location), I get popcorn.”
“Whenever (unpredictable, indifferent) I go to the theater (exact location -mismatch with unpredictability) I get popcorn”
Does that make sense?
Anybody else owning cats. Then I can have all the cats. 🐱 🐈
it would be nice if the current president’s life were (humorously) abolished
Humorous not, when that floating turd finally swirls down the hole, I’m buying a big-ass flag pole specifically so I can fly it at full mast.
