Maybe not collapse, but they sure as hell won’t ‘win’.

In a recent article published in The Atlantic magazine, (American military historian Eliot) Cohen used a tongue-in-cheek approach to warn Americans against invading Canada, pointing out that previous attempts led to dismal results.

His review of American military failures starts in 1775, when U.S. troops invaded Quebec, where they distributed pamphlets — translated into French — awkwardly declaring: “You have been conquered into liberty.” The campaign ended in disastrous defeat for the American Continental Army in December 1775.

During the War of 1812, former U.S. president Thomas Jefferson said conquering Canada was “a mere matter of marching.”

“This was incorrect,” Cohen wrote. “The United States launched eight or nine invasions of Canada during the War of 1812, winning only one fruitless battle. The rest of the time, it got walloped.”