Here’s a fresh one: someone called me a shitty parent because I think Americans are generally very intolerant of kids in public spaces. They flew off the handle because I said what some people call “annoying” I call “being a kid.” There are a lot of people on Lemmy who get very angry about the idea that kids might irritate them or otherwise make themselves known, and they immediately start ranting about how those parents are dog shit and the kids need to essentially be muzzled.
I have a pretty big ax to grind with all the eugenics/breeder bullshit going on in my country right now. It’s very scary and I get why people are weary of having kids. But anti-natalism is not a good look and this tendency for people to feel borderline virtuous for calling parents shitty for “not controlling their kids“ is really something to behold.
I remember that one. It was a weird thread. We had people saying they let their kids poop on the floor, and others that only let their kids out of their cages for special occasions.
Of course, those were exaggerations of the extremes, but it got very heated.
The “poop on the floor” thing is unfortunately a reality of potty training but that shouldn’t happen in public spaces, nor have I ever heard or witnessed that lol
Libraries have sections for kids man. Most people adhere to it. You (Royal you) can’t let theoreticals/rare cases inform your feelings on these issues.
Divorced of context, I 100% agree. However, I don’t think you’ve engaged with my point. There are settings in which it is simply NOT ok for children to be playing and screaming, full stop. “but what about-” No, you’ve changed the setting and now we’re not talking about the same thing anymore.
But who ever said kids should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want? This feels a bit strawman to me. No one is advocating for that, certainly not me.
Kids are going to be on your public transit, your airplanes, on sidewalks, at pizza shops, etc. and people need to not just accept but embrace them. They are a part of your community, just like any other person. If being an inconvenience or annoying was an acceptable reason for people to reject you, then we’d have a lot bigger issues (than we already have) with the elderly, people with autism, people in wheel chairs, etc. No one gets mad when the bus takes an extra bit of time to help someone with a disability get settled. Yes an infant may cry or scream in public. They do that.
But who ever said kids should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want?
You did. Not directly of course, but a reader can easily tell that this is your opinion based on your interactions with me and others here in this thread.
Either that or you don’t want to be held accountable for the actions of your children.
Well apparently it’s not that easy to tell because that is not what I believe at all. So are you going to actually ask me what I think are you going to keep smugly telling me what my opinions are as a parent?
Actually don’t bother responding unless the last word is that important to you. You clearly have an ax to grind and you’re being an asshole. Have a good one.
Well apparently it’s not that easy to tell because that is not what I believe at all. So are you going to actually ask me what I think are you going to keep smugly telling me what my opinions are as a parent?
Actually don’t bother responding unless the last word is that important to you. You clearly have an ax to grind and you’re being an asshole. Have a good one.
I genuinely laughed at this. Countdown until the above is deleted by creator? This comment exists to preserve yours.
If you don’t routinely overwrite and delete your comments online after what we saw on Reddit that’s kind of wild, but that’s also your prerogative. Either way it’s irrelevant and not the “own” you think it is.
Listen, I just hate kids man. It’s probably my most consistent thing since I was a kid. Fuck kids. We should just be growing adults out of a vat, it’s 2025 for fucks sake.
I have met dozens of people who have told me they hate kids throughout my life, and they have without fail been the absolute worst. I get that kids can be irritating, but hate? fuck you.
Yes. It feels like a specific kind of projection. Their subconscious reconfizes they were a shitty kid raised by a shitty parent and are still shitty people because of it and then paint that over every child because it’s what shitty people do.
Well this couldn’t be further from my truth but maybe other people are like that. I dunno. I also don’t actually hate kids, I thought my comment was evidently hyperbolic bu I guess not.
Not just kids, a lot of adults are annoying as hell too.
But Kids should be free to learn so for me it feels like they are allowed/have the right to be annoying
Yeah, the two are usually (though not always) correlated. Annoying adults have annoying kids that grow up to be annoying adults, and the cycle continues.
You’d be amazed how many people are not patient with that learning process. And they always cite the same caricature. Some dude told me he has issues with “kids at bars” and “candlelit dinners.” What the fuck is he even on about?
Not going to argue about the general kid stance. Just about the “shitty parent” bit, which is also de main complain.
There are two tiers of good/bad parent. There’s the objective one, are the kids being hurt? No, then you are a good parent. Pretty easy.
But there’s a more complex one. Are your education as a parent helping to produce an adult with a series of determined characteristics? This is a lot more complex. As there’s no universal agree on what a good adult is so there cannot be a good agree on which parenting is good because it produces these type of adults.
I’d would assume that when people say “you are a shitty parent” they would me mostly saying “your education will produce an adult that I do not consider desirable in my idea of a society”. That’s subjective. Some people prefer some traits and other prefer others.
As in this general example if someone sees a kids making a lot of noise and their parents not correcting them they may say “that’s a shitty parent”. Do they think they are hurting the kids? No. They’ll just probably think that those kids will grow up to be noisy adults and they don’t like noisy adults, so they think that’s not a desirable education for a kid in their society. Nothing more. I wouldn’t take those “you are a shitty parent” in any other way.
You’re missing the issue - I know what they’re thinking, but frankly I don’t understand why people feel entitled to make that statement after simply disagreeing with one or two sentences of mine or someone else. The point is it is an extremely rude, personal attack that borders on cruel. It cannot be overstated how deeply personal that attack is and how unwarranted it almost always is.
I said “we need to be patient with kids,” they said “kids are obnoxious in public spaces,” I said “what you may consider annoying I often consider kids just being kids,” and they said “you’re a shitty parent.” Does that sound like an even remotely appropriate escalation to you? They are hardly unique in this behavior. This is basically a meme at this point on the Internet. If you say are a parent and advocate for kids at all, people just call you a shitty parent immediately. And they’re so excited to do it andget so much support in it. It’s not right.
I am sensitive to noises, so I can empathize very well with people who suffer when noisy/kids people are around. It can be really debilitating and stressful. And frustrating, as there’s usually no control over that situation. So it’s usual for people to vent the extreme frustration generated by shit talking.
Maybe they have a neighbor with noisy kids and they are suffering every day because of it (as it is my case for instance). So being rude to strangers who may not have special concerns if kids/people are noisy or not is a way to vent. Not a good way, but it’s natural in most people to vent their frustration with people they assume (correctly or not) are related to their suffering.
What I mean is that noise sensibility can be a very serious issue to some people. Empathy and compassion is needed in this cases when defending anything related with noisemaking.
You are totally right that there are many reasons why people could feel that way. But like a lot of things on the Internet, I think it’s simply a behavior that is being rewarded. It’s become trendy to hate parents and kids. People basically assume you’re a breeder eugenicist republican the moment you say you love your kids or suggest that your kids should be allowed to exist in the community like everyone else.
I agree, but also I think there’s a line between “kiddo getting excited or having a hard time in a public space” vs. “this kid is being neglected by their parents in favor of phones, and/or not taught general manners and human-to-human respect” because their parents are also inconsiderate of other people.
A child having a meltdown in a grocery store, or bouncing around a park or making excited commentary at a movie theater I can easily forgive. Ignoring and letting a child run off unattended in a restaurant where a server can trip and get hurt is a problem. A kid getting antsy happens, but you also need to let them know why they should be mindful in certain environments.
That said, there needs to be more openly kid-friendly spaces in the US, since they need free space to let off energy and develop their minds freely.
Not a member of dbzer and I highly doubt a user who stalks my comments into other threads to harass me is going to respect it. I blocked them and am moving on.
Here’s a fresh one: someone called me a shitty parent because I think Americans are generally very intolerant of kids in public spaces. They flew off the handle because I said what some people call “annoying” I call “being a kid.” There are a lot of people on Lemmy who get very angry about the idea that kids might irritate them or otherwise make themselves known, and they immediately start ranting about how those parents are dog shit and the kids need to essentially be muzzled.
I have a pretty big ax to grind with all the eugenics/breeder bullshit going on in my country right now. It’s very scary and I get why people are weary of having kids. But anti-natalism is not a good look and this tendency for people to feel borderline virtuous for calling parents shitty for “not controlling their kids“ is really something to behold.
I remember that one. It was a weird thread. We had people saying they let their kids poop on the floor, and others that only let their kids out of their cages for special occasions.
Of course, those were exaggerations of the extremes, but it got very heated.
The “poop on the floor” thing is unfortunately a reality of potty training but that shouldn’t happen in public spaces, nor have I ever heard or witnessed that lol
depending on context, I could easily support either side of this argument.
on the one hand, people overreact too much.
on the other hand, children are often unpleasant to be around.
On a third hand, people in general are often unpleasant to be around, children are just different kinds of unpleasant.
Setting also matters. Playing and screaming in a park? probably fine. playing and screaming in a library? those kids have bad parents.
Libraries have sections for kids man. Most people adhere to it. You (Royal you) can’t let theoreticals/rare cases inform your feelings on these issues.
Divorced of context, I 100% agree. However, I don’t think you’ve engaged with my point. There are settings in which it is simply NOT ok for children to be playing and screaming, full stop. “but what about-” No, you’ve changed the setting and now we’re not talking about the same thing anymore.
But who ever said kids should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want? This feels a bit strawman to me. No one is advocating for that, certainly not me.
Kids are going to be on your public transit, your airplanes, on sidewalks, at pizza shops, etc. and people need to not just accept but embrace them. They are a part of your community, just like any other person. If being an inconvenience or annoying was an acceptable reason for people to reject you, then we’d have a lot bigger issues (than we already have) with the elderly, people with autism, people in wheel chairs, etc. No one gets mad when the bus takes an extra bit of time to help someone with a disability get settled. Yes an infant may cry or scream in public. They do that.
You did. Not directly of course, but a reader can easily tell that this is your opinion based on your interactions with me and others here in this thread.
Either that or you don’t want to be held accountable for the actions of your children.
Well apparently it’s not that easy to tell because that is not what I believe at all. So are you going to actually ask me what I think are you going to keep smugly telling me what my opinions are as a parent?
Actually don’t bother responding unless the last word is that important to you. You clearly have an ax to grind and you’re being an asshole. Have a good one.
I genuinely laughed at this. Countdown until the above is deleted by creator? This comment exists to preserve yours.
If you don’t routinely overwrite and delete your comments online after what we saw on Reddit that’s kind of wild, but that’s also your prerogative. Either way it’s irrelevant and not the “own” you think it is.
Bye now 👋
Sir, where did you get a third hand. Grave robbing and necromancy is illegal around here.
Tho I do very much agree with what you have on said third hand.
uuhhhhh, glory to the four-armed emperor?
Radiation, obviously
I would guess many people on here have done the research but have little experience with the actions necessary to conceive
Listen, I just hate kids man. It’s probably my most consistent thing since I was a kid. Fuck kids. We should just be growing adults out of a vat, it’s 2025 for fucks sake.
I have met dozens of people who have told me they hate kids throughout my life, and they have without fail been the absolute worst. I get that kids can be irritating, but hate? fuck you.
Yes. It feels like a specific kind of projection. Their subconscious reconfizes they were a shitty kid raised by a shitty parent and are still shitty people because of it and then paint that over every child because it’s what shitty people do.
Well this couldn’t be further from my truth but maybe other people are like that. I dunno. I also don’t actually hate kids, I thought my comment was evidently hyperbolic bu I guess not.
I’m being hyperbolic, if the last bit about growing people out of a vat didn’t make that clear enough.
You do you but I don’t imagine that translates into you calling random people “shitty parents” when they disagree lol
Not just kids, a lot of adults are annoying as hell too.
But Kids should be free to learn so for me it feels like they are allowed/have the right to be annoying
Yeah, the two are usually (though not always) correlated. Annoying adults have annoying kids that grow up to be annoying adults, and the cycle continues.
You’d be amazed how many people are not patient with that learning process. And they always cite the same caricature. Some dude told me he has issues with “kids at bars” and “candlelit dinners.” What the fuck is he even on about?
That is a fantastic perspective.
Not going to argue about the general kid stance. Just about the “shitty parent” bit, which is also de main complain.
There are two tiers of good/bad parent. There’s the objective one, are the kids being hurt? No, then you are a good parent. Pretty easy.
But there’s a more complex one. Are your education as a parent helping to produce an adult with a series of determined characteristics? This is a lot more complex. As there’s no universal agree on what a good adult is so there cannot be a good agree on which parenting is good because it produces these type of adults.
I’d would assume that when people say “you are a shitty parent” they would me mostly saying “your education will produce an adult that I do not consider desirable in my idea of a society”. That’s subjective. Some people prefer some traits and other prefer others.
As in this general example if someone sees a kids making a lot of noise and their parents not correcting them they may say “that’s a shitty parent”. Do they think they are hurting the kids? No. They’ll just probably think that those kids will grow up to be noisy adults and they don’t like noisy adults, so they think that’s not a desirable education for a kid in their society. Nothing more. I wouldn’t take those “you are a shitty parent” in any other way.
You’re missing the issue - I know what they’re thinking, but frankly I don’t understand why people feel entitled to make that statement after simply disagreeing with one or two sentences of mine or someone else. The point is it is an extremely rude, personal attack that borders on cruel. It cannot be overstated how deeply personal that attack is and how unwarranted it almost always is.
I said “we need to be patient with kids,” they said “kids are obnoxious in public spaces,” I said “what you may consider annoying I often consider kids just being kids,” and they said “you’re a shitty parent.” Does that sound like an even remotely appropriate escalation to you? They are hardly unique in this behavior. This is basically a meme at this point on the Internet. If you say are a parent and advocate for kids at all, people just call you a shitty parent immediately. And they’re so excited to do it andget so much support in it. It’s not right.
It’s not appropriate. But don’t take it personal.
I am sensitive to noises, so I can empathize very well with people who suffer when noisy/kids people are around. It can be really debilitating and stressful. And frustrating, as there’s usually no control over that situation. So it’s usual for people to vent the extreme frustration generated by shit talking.
Maybe they have a neighbor with noisy kids and they are suffering every day because of it (as it is my case for instance). So being rude to strangers who may not have special concerns if kids/people are noisy or not is a way to vent. Not a good way, but it’s natural in most people to vent their frustration with people they assume (correctly or not) are related to their suffering.
What I mean is that noise sensibility can be a very serious issue to some people. Empathy and compassion is needed in this cases when defending anything related with noisemaking.
You are totally right that there are many reasons why people could feel that way. But like a lot of things on the Internet, I think it’s simply a behavior that is being rewarded. It’s become trendy to hate parents and kids. People basically assume you’re a breeder eugenicist republican the moment you say you love your kids or suggest that your kids should be allowed to exist in the community like everyone else.
Here’s a great response to any parent who gets the “You must be a shitty parent” line.
“And you ARE a shitty person”
I agree, but also I think there’s a line between “kiddo getting excited or having a hard time in a public space” vs. “this kid is being neglected by their parents in favor of phones, and/or not taught general manners and human-to-human respect” because their parents are also inconsiderate of other people.
A child having a meltdown in a grocery store, or bouncing around a park or making excited commentary at a movie theater I can easily forgive. Ignoring and letting a child run off unattended in a restaurant where a server can trip and get hurt is a problem. A kid getting antsy happens, but you also need to let them know why they should be mindful in certain environments.
That said, there needs to be more openly kid-friendly spaces in the US, since they need free space to let off energy and develop their minds freely.
Don’t go to other threads and lie about your conversations, dude, they’re public!
Literally never said that. Don’t lie.
By the way this is the guy. He followed my into this thread.
Leave me alone.
I suggest you use the disengage rule.
Not a member of dbzer and I highly doubt a user who stalks my comments into other threads to harass me is going to respect it. I blocked them and am moving on.
Ok, just wanted to let you know it is an option when interacting with our users, even if you are not a db0 user.
Appreciate it. I’m going to stop responding now since I’m just getting downvoted no matter what I say.