Dunno how else to call it. Got me a job. It’s not a bad job. I like the work I do, I tolerate the people there, the hours are not long, it’s unionised so they can’t harrass me when I’m off the clock, it pays the bills I got.
… But god damn. Once I’m home I lack the drive to do literally anything.
I’ve stopped going to gym, I often eat junk cuz I just don’t wanna cook, even my hobbies are being left to gather dust. After working my 9-to-5 I just wanna lie down and rot until it’s work time again.
So the question is, how do the better-adjusted adults handle this?
Allow yourself to be bored. You’ll find the motivation.
This is pretty much always the case when you start a new job. It takes time adjusting to the environment, the people and everything else. It’s going to get better, it always does.
However, skipping proper food and exercise is counter-productive, so do make an effort to cover those needs.
I don’t have a real solution, but for me I just try to be exceptionally mindful of precisely what you already described. On my way home I try to think of a few productive things I could possibly muster before compromising/collapsing back into idleness
I take a shower then I lay on a yoga mat and listen to a funny podcast like tigerbelly or bad friends for ~30 minutes depending how the day went. Sometimes I plan out what to do for dinner on the drive home, sonetimes in the morning, sometimes the day before, sometimes I plan it out during mat time and do some light stretches. My shoulders and pelvis are chronically tight from stress. Maybe have a drink in the shower before laying down but maybe don’t incorporate that
I can vouch that a shower beer often brings my energy back post shower.
I’ll tell you what worked for me: Doing everything before work instead. Get up at 4am instead of 7 and go to bed at 7pm instead of 10.
My schedule changes frequently. On days i start at a normal time i tend to get things done in the mornings. Days i start early i get stuff done after work. I find the best trick for getting stuff done after work is to start right away. Even sitting for just 5 minutes can be detrimental to my motivation.
Part of what helps motivate me is in my area electricity is cheapest between 7pm and 7am. So i try to do things like laundry early in the morning and i try not to use my computer much until after 7pm. Even my wifi is often off during daytime hours (i live alone and work away from home). I know the savings are minor, but i find that extra financial incentive is all i need sometimes to wash the dishes at 6:30 pm and relax afterwards.
This is MADNESS
THIS IS SPARTA!!! Kicks
At the very minimum, gym in the morning (but after coffee/caffeine, plus the time for it to kick in) is the enlightened way. It helps if your gym is nearby or you have a [email protected] .
I personally also use the wee morning hours to reconcile my financial accounts, since ACH transactions in the USA will generally process a day faster if submitted before 10:30 ET.
Yeaaah, doing this would mean the death of anything I enjoy outside of work and the wife and kids.
OP is already failing to do anything outside of work and sleep. Desperate measures.
Fair.
God I wish I got up at 7. I’m already at work for a half hour.
I deal with this on and off myself. You have to find a way to get back to your old health habits, and create a schedule that allows you to do that. It sucks, because making time like that with your job is designed to be impossible, but you have no hope of ever feeling better if you have to work 8 hours a day or whatever AND you feel like crap because you are eating junk, not exercising, getting no sleep etc.
Pure fucking willpower, don’t let yourself sit down when you get home right away.
It’s quite insidious, and tbh there’s only so much you can do to control how you feel after work. Instead of hoping to feel good every day, I try and set myself up for success on random days where I do leave work with energy.
In my case this means I have 1 or 2 braindead-easy dinners waiting in the wings. Good leftovers I can reheat in the oven, or a meal that takes 2 steps to prepare. If I don’t have to worry about cooking dinner, then I have that much more time to dedicate to a hobby when the fancy strikes me.
As others have said in this thread: don’t go home after work. Go somewhere else. That’s it.
If you wanna start doing a workout routine, join a gym close to your work and go straight there instead of going home. Want to learn to dance? Find something to do away from home until it is time to go to a dance class that happens every week. Have hobbies you would normally do alone at home? Start a group dedicated to doing those hobbies together in a public place, and meet there regularly.
If you feel really exhausted after your workday, almost universally you can use this technique: go to the next place you are going to be, find somewhere to sit or lay down, then set a timer for 15 minutes and just close your eyes. You can meditate if you want, but that’s not what this is about. You are literally just sitting there, doing nothing, resting your eyes. The hardest part is dealing with the fact that you feel bored and want to look at your phone - don’t. Being bored is a way to mentally recover from your stress. Looking at your phone doesn’t do this.
Then, work on building up a schedule of events in your life for your after-work time. These should be things that:
- Are fun. They are things you actually want to do. They are goals you chose for yourself because they are personally meaningful.
- Are social. You are spending time with other people with the same interest, who you enjoy spending time with. You can reasonably expect that they will be happy to see you, and that you will be happy to see them.
- Are regularly scheduled. You should be showing up to the same place at the same time every day or week.
Gradually build up a schedule like this for 4-5 days out of the work week, and possibly on the weekend. Leave one afternoon per week open for life admin - laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc.
Quit, then nothing is post work because everything is.
It might be worth it to try a 10min power nap after work and see if that helps.
If you find the secret, pass it along
Don’t go home from work. Go to a place to do the thing from work instead.
$100,000 a year in passive income
Ahh, the “small loan of a million dollars” approach. I always forget about Daddy’s money!
The secret is simple. What you do for money isn’t what or who you are. 8 hours of work. 8 hours of sleep. (Unconscious body resting sleep) That leaves as many hours per day you spend working as you could spend doing anything you are able to facilitate. Problem is, if your 8 hours of work is debilitating to the point it owns the other 66% of your time then you need a new 9 to 5 or at least find peace with what it is you do for money.
Or you have depression. If that’s the case I feel for you, and I know you got this.
D d d d d d d d d d depression
That leaves as many hours per day you spend working as you could spend doing anything you are able to facilitate.
No commutes?
No chores ? Like laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping etc…
You only need to cook one day a week to have good meals.
Make a whole roast chicken on Sunday. You can have that bird all week. Ceasar salad with chicken; chicken tacos, chicken sandwich.
Get a big pot and make a giant stew. Freeze it in pint size containers. Right now I’ve got chili and lentil soup sitting in the freezer, waiting to be nuked.
Keep plenty of fresh fruit and quality cheese on hand. An apple with some sharp cheddar is a great snack.
Angel hair pasta takes about five minutes to cook; put any sauce you like on it.
You don’t have to go to the gym to stay fit.
Use this manual, 15 minutes a day.
https://leisureguy.ca/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/rcaf_xbx_5bx_exercise_plans_text.pdf
Personally my biggest hurdle is getting started on something. When I get home I NEVER feel like drawing, but if I sit down and force myself to start I slowly get more energy and focus.
Action precedes motivation. It sucks but it’s true.
This.
The first 10 minutes of any activity after work are by far the hardest, but once you clear that hurdle it’s easy to keep going
Get off the crack. No social media, gaming, or serie etc.
Get fucking bored and you’ll wanna do something that’s worth doing (in your POV)
I’m leaning more and more towards this.
The other week, a guy in a fantasy football rage thread had a similar take, and put it so good I had to screenshot and save it.
