I have been prepping my home for the last five hours and I’m exhausted. Couldn’t really do it sooner because I was working. My family always make me feel bad when there is cat hair or dust somewhere. Is it okay to put the bar a little lower? Would it be okay to just do less? What are your own standards about cleaning?
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To answer your question - your judgemental family is the problem, not your cleaning. I have my own (pretty loose) cleaning standards, they don’t apply to others. If someone invites me to their house, it would have to be pretty dirty before I might say something, and even then more because I might be worried about them.
We do kind of a lot of ongoing maintenance, run the Roomba twice a day and have help - we pay for every other week deep cleaning. But generally speaking yes there is cat hair and dust. We live in the world, the world is made of dirt.
Yeah, thanks for that. I feel like I have a pretty high standard of cleanliness, after all I grew up with my parents, who are very nitpicky about it, but I never tell anyone I’m visiting that there is any problem with their own cleaning. Everyone has a life and their own responsibilities. I just wanted to see where the bar was for people.
In the general case my house is clean because I find it to be so. However you feel about that is on you(grandma I’m looking at you), trying to elevate yourself by picking apart other people is toxic.
If I am hosting I will make it nice. I chose to host and so I chose a big event and I will decorate and deep clean and move stuff into the garage and whatever else.
On a random day if you show up or are coming over I am doing absolutely nothing different. I don’t expect you to either. We are friends/family and I take you as you are. I expect the same.
For specifics on the day to day. There are never dirty dishes in my sink that’s about all I can say lol.
save about $200 through the year and hire someone from a reputable cleaner to clean your home about a week before.
then, the day before, just do touchups.
it’s the best gift you can give yourself if this is such a problem.
btw, it’s about $4 per paycheck if you get paid weekly.
You know what, didn’t really think about this. I thought if I had to have professional help, it’d have to be a regular thing and it’s not in my budget, but I’ll look for that kind of service. I won’t be able to tell my folks about it, but they won’t know!
Lol visitors in my home are gonna get what they get, if they don’t like it they are welcome to not come over. Especially with animals, it can be extra tough to stay on top of it.
My standards aren’t low and I’ll pickup, sweep and do a vacuum before company comes by. If the toilet is gross I’ll give it a quick scrub but I’m not going around dusting every trinket and shelf to satisfy someone that’s just visiting.
I wash my bedsheets yearly whether they need it or not and besides that it’s mostly a self-contained ecosystem for example I don’t change my bath mat because that’s where my mushrooms grow.
Pareto Principle. Focus on the 20% of chores that get you 80% of your cleanliness. Just found this, which seems to give a decent explanation:
https://www.cleaningchecklist.org/what-is-the-80-20-rule-house-cleaning/
That sounds like a good idea but, man! That’s a very chatgpt site.
Hardly even looked at it, honestly, just grabbed the first article that seemed to align with what I was describing, haha
Pareto principle definitely applies here. I have a similar cleaning pattern, with tidying and cleaning being grouped together.
I’d be curious about the grouping you do. I usually do the tidying before the rest what do you mean with cleaning at the same time?
It typically pans out that I tidy up the worst of it, then clean the worst, then proceed to messes that aren’t as bad.
It is difficult to clean when there is a lot of clutter, so unless an area is dirty but not cluttered, I usually need to tidy first. Bathrooms would be an example though where I may just need to clean.
I don’t clean regularly, given that I have neither children nor pets. When I am expecting guests over, I just make sure that the toilet and sink are clean and that the kitchen is cleared up and dishes are done. And, of course, vacuuming the floors.
After all, an appartement (or house) is a place where someone lives, and thus, things are in use constantly and lying around. It’s not supposed to be a furniture-store display.
If I throw it against the wall and it doesn’t stick, it’s clean.
I have my standards higher than my fiancee, which is annoying for both of us since she’s mostly reponsible for housework in our apartment. But we’ve just compromised on the level
Why is she mostly responsible? My husband has higher standards for housework than I do, so I do more of the cooking and gardening, finances, we arrange the division of labor to accommodate our strengths.
I work, she is at home most days
I personally live by the idea that at home if someone/some people keep(s) constantly complaining about your work, then they should try to do a better job than you to prove you aren’t putting in the work. I feel as long as you are doing a good job, they will probably do worse and hopefully back off afterwards. That’s assuming they don’t claim that they either did better than you or blame you on a job not well done despite them doing it.
As for me, my standard is getting it done right the first time so I don’t have to redo it. Dishes get cleaned right and put away in specific cabinets and drawers so everyone knows roughly where everything is and I don’t have to fix things when putting dishes away or struggle to find things when helping cook dinner. Same type of logic applies to helping my parents and when walking my brothers dogs. Though, I’m lucky enough to have family that doesn’t get too snippity over my work. Usually just a dish that I may have missed a little bit on being pointed out every once in a while.
Doing things right the first time is certainly a tip I’ll keep in mind. They probably would do a better job than me though, they are retirees having pretty much only cleaning and gardening as hobbies. And I’m not the best at both. Compared to my friends, I clean a lot, but compared to my close family, we’re not in the same leagues. They are “dusting-the-fire-alarm” people.
The correct place to set something down is wherever I am so long as it’s not food. I can afford to pay for a cleaning service to cover mopping and such, so I only vacuum clumps of cat hair and leave the floors for someone else to manage. I tidy up before they come so they can access everything.
The chores will get done eventually. Probably.
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You don’t have to live up to any kind of ridiculous standard, but you have to embrace all of the unpleasant tasks that come with inviting people to your space.
The biggest one is that you can’t have people leaving filthy and covered in cat hair.
I know you have a cat, but you have to figure out how to balance your cat ownership and your desire or intention to host people in your home.
Clean the cat hair. Vacuum the furniture. Think about how you would feel if you had a cat allergy and had to go to somebody’s home and drag all that filth home with you.
Don’t get me wrong, I like cats, but let’s be real.
I get that. What is difficult for me is that I am the person in my family living closest to everyone. Plus, my parents, who are getting older, don’t want to host anymore. I therefore became the de facto host without wanting to be one. But my family have such a high standard of cleaning that I find it difficult to have them over. For example, yesterday, they teased me about the fact that my bedside table was messy, in my own bedroom. I’m tired.
I refuse to accept that you’re looking for any answer.
I think validation is what you’re seeking and we can’t give that to you.
I think it comes down to one of two things, reimagine your relationship with your family, or clean your place.
