What’s your take? Would you take seriously dating a single parent or would you do it just for temporal fun? Should people with kids date just people with kids?
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An odd question. Why would being a (single) parent be a defining factor?
I would say it is more about whether you get along with them and if they have their life in order. The rest will follow / become clear in time. Do not think too far ahead.
An odd question. Why would being a (single) parent be a defining factor?
Well, I would expect different answers if they were married 🙂
Yes. Because if I’m somehow in a situation where I’m dating again, I’m a single parent too.
Single mom? Absolutely. Single dad? No. But thats mostly because I like women.
Fair
It heavily depends on a context and a past of a person. If a person is nice and there is nothing wrong with them or kids, then there is no reason to avoid them. Especially, if their previous partner left them for a reason that doesn’t bother you like death or betrayal from partner’s side.
I would not rule it out but the reason I was single for a long time is that I don’t want to deal with anyone who can’t be prosecuted. Teens are okay as long as I don’t have to deal with their rebellion agaibst their parent.
This feels very specific?
Whatever you imagine is probably more fun than reality in this case. Instead of me explaining feel free to share your most fun explanation with the world.
Wouldn’t be my first choice, but possibly.
I did and made another one of my own with her. I did take my sweet time finding out if our parenting style and future plans aligned before comitting, of course.
I also like the kid, which was a must.Overall it worked out great! Two kids but only had to endure one pregnancy. That’s a win in my book!
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You just run the risk of being involved in things you didn’t ask to have any business to be in, in the first place.
I completely get where you’re coming from. Many of the things you post as drawbacks are things I experienced. But this quote, I had to comment on.
This is just a facet of life. You are always going to find yourself thrust into situations you’d rather not be in. Kids definitely contribute to that, but so does having a job, a partner, or just going out into the world.
Last week, I found myself in line at an amusement park in front of a couple of young men who were — swear to fucking god — discussing a tier-list of races. In front of me was a very nice Indian father with his son whom I’d been talking to. And there I am, an old white guy looking like a fucking F-tier asshole by association. I didn’t choose to be in that situation, but I had to deal with it anyway. Yeah, my kid was there, and that informed how I handled it, but it could’ve easily happened without her there.
I’m just saying, avoiding kids saves you only a small measure of dealing with shit that you never asked for. And also christ I have needed to share that for a week because I can’t get it out of my mind, so thank you.
That being said, I understand where you’re coming from. A situation where one parent only tolerates the kids for the sake of the other is bad for everyone, and by understanding yourself you are making good decisions here for yourself and potentially others.
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Hey, I apologize if I made you feel like you needed to defend yourself. That wasn’t intended as an argument or refutation. I just wanted to unpack one little sentence and provide a perspective on it. You know yourself and it sounds like you’re making the right call for you.
I’m a single parent so would be hypocritical not to.
Then again my kids are in college, soon to be adults, I’m an older parent who doesn’t have the energy I did 20 years ago, and my focus right now is trying to make up for lost retirement savings so I can eventually retire. I do love kids but I’m not up for doing it all again
I wouldn’t date either of my parents.
That’s okay I’ll date your parents for you.
Hi dad/mom
Nope! I don’t really like kids and don’t want them. Part of the reason why is I don’t think I’d be a very great parent. To reasonably date someone with a kid, there would need to be some level of commitment also towards the kid and I simply do not want that.
Since I’m childfree, dating a single parent is a non-starter.
If I was not childfree, I think I would be open to it.
I don’t want kids of my own but I love kids! I would LOVE do date a guy with kids. Bonus points if he is a widow.
Yes - dating is ultimately just “do i match with this person, like them, and can we get along together enough.” but the odds of me dating them diminish when increasing the amount of kids they have and increasing how messy their ex’s involvement is.
Edited-To-Add: coupling yourself to a romantic partner is also coupling yourself to their friends and family, but while you can choose not to see your in-laws every christmas or hang out with your wife’s girlfriends, you can’t reduce contact with a S.O’s live-in children or crazy exes (assuming the ex has shared custody)
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