Patriarchy
Ohhhhh yes
Me.
I mean, I’m not particularly old — only 29. But I’m super surprised I still exist. And it’s not for lack of trying. It just turns out that even though I’m pretty mediocre at living, I’m even worse at dying. Fortunately, I’m in a place now where that’s a thing I’m happy about, for the most part.
I’ve got at least 8 different attempts under my belt, and the way that some of them failed makes me feel like it’s almost offensive to be an atheist. For instance, when I swam out into the sea, as far as I could until I couldn’t anymore, and the next thing I remember was waking up on the beach, not super far from where I’d swam from. I thought that was a thing that only happened in movies. Granted, I’m not a strong swimmer, so I didn’t get very far out, but still.
That was one of my attempts as an adult, but I had a lot as a teenager too. When I was about 16, I was resentful of all the people who cared about me, because the guilt I felt over hurting them was the only thing keeping me alive. Building off of the crisis management advice that I’d seen that said it’s good to try to put some distance between you and your suicidal feelings by trying to hold off until the next day, for instance, I resolved that I would stick around until I was 20, and if nothing had improved by then, I would kill myself and fuck anyone who begrudged me this escape — no-one could say I didn’t try.
Well, it turns out that some things did improve by age 20 — enough that it suggested there was a non-zero hope that I could some day live and actually be happy to be alive. I still struggled a lot after that point, because it’s not like my mental health was magically resolved (it still isn’t), but I’m glad I stuck around.
In a way though, things got harder after age 20. Ironically, there were countless times throughout my late teens in which looking forward to my death was the only thing that saved my life. When things were particularly rough, I would work out how many days I had to go before I could rest, and it soothed me. After I was 20, however, I was unanchored. I had a life that didn’t feel like it was my own, because I never expected to make it this far. Even now, it still sometimes feels like I’m in a bonus level. It’s a bizarre feeling.
But yeah, I, and many of the people who know and love me, are surprised that I’m still around. I’m proud of myself, even if a significant part of why I’m still here is sheer luck. Obviously this wasn’t what you meant when asking your question, but I’ve been reflecting on my progress a lot lately, and the idea of giving this answer amused me. It feels healing to joke about this stuff a bit, I think
Sometimes it’s good to fail, even eight times, and I’m glad you did. Thanks for sticking around. I hope you continue to do so.
Boomers.
It used to be a era of time. Now, it’s a full blown personality type.
Vinyl records. Its a very… space inefficient way to store your music, but they are pretty to look at.
And the dust on the needle sounds pleasing
Japanese here, it is still crazy people need to bring a big wooden stemp around to sign government documents and contracts. and bringing physical documents around in a suitcase.
How else will I sign for packages in dog form?
Mail man just thinks im a good puppy.
A wooden stamp or is stemp something I’m unaware of?
Speling. It’s spelled speling.
/s
Its \s, actually
*I’ts
It’s actually called a hanko! I think they’re pretty neat. You get a custom one that counts as your signature.
Kind of silly in he modern era, but also neat. Maybe they gotta start putting in security chips for like cryptographic signatures.
I see nothing wrong with a giant wooden stamp.
Bring back melted wax letter seals too.
I made a wax seal last year so that I could be an extra bitch when sending letters to my friends.
I like sending people letters and postcards, because the added friction of the physical process makes it feel more meaningful. It’s almost got a ritual feel to it.
Old fashioned record players
78 shellacs are fucking amazing. to hear sound from a record where everyone, everyone, involved is long dead is like magic.
I’ve got some 78s from late 1800s early 1900s. every time I listen to them it boggles my mind.
Fascism.
less surprised, more disappointed.
Hey, it’s neo now.
Up until last year, I’d have said my parents
Shoe horns. My 86 year old father in law still uses one and swears by it. Doesn’t put shoes without the assistance of the horn. I’ve seen it in action, and it seems to work? Even on some tied shoes!
shoe horns are fucking awesome!
when you get old and it hurts to tie your shoes it’s nice to sit down and just “slip em on”.
Im in my 30s and use one daily. I dislike having to tie laces every day and i can slip my feet into my shoes (while perma-tied) like butter.
Yes the laces are slightly looser than a fresh re-tie but not uncomfortably so or slopping around when i walk.I wear faily flexible everyday shoes though, would not reccomend this technique with rigid leather dress shoes or work boots which need to be tied every time.
Next you’re surprised that hammers still exist?
I don’t own a shoe horn, but I use my finger to the same effect on tied shoes. I have one pair that I only tie every few weeks.
What a weird take.
Well there was that brief period in time where everyone thought self lacing shoes were the future.
I consider any home without a shoehorn to be uncivilized
I have one, I just don’t know where it is. Do I count as civilised?
Cnidarians. (The sort of animals that includes jellyfish and sea anenomes and coral and such). Theyre so old that the first known predatory animal as far as I’m aware was one of them, and some of them still resemble those ancient versions to a significant degree. Even tho every time theres a mass extinction corals seem to be some of the first things to go, and jellyfish tend to be slow, stupid and not very good at controlling where they go, it somehow works out for them.
Wow, that was an evolutionary dark alley.
Basically the minimal assembly kit of a higher organism.
They need a skin bag to put all that stuff in, and cover it with some pretty scales or feathers or something.
Nah, it’s all modular. No size fits all.
Cobol on old systems that are too ancient to touch but are generally fine as long as you don’t touch them.
An IBM AS/400 has entered the chat.
My asshole puckered every time we had to reboot that sucker.
Paper visas. You have my passport number, is it not enough to check if I have valid visa?
Oxford University started sometime around the year 1100.
A 5-day, 40 hour work week “standard”
Somebody saying “bless you” to someone else who sneezes
The president
Bless you is such a weird way to respond to a sneeze though. Fitting for the clusterfuck the english langaige is tbh.
From ancient Rome when they thought sneezing was an omen and may dislodge and expel the soul from the body (Pliny the Elder, Suetonius, Homer).
Sure feels like that sometimes.
Still weird that english uses it. Most other languages I k ow just say something about your health.
The english language has a lot of religious language hidden away in expressions
For example, goodbye is just a shortening of “god be with ye”
In Germany we say (literally) “Health” as in “Get better”
Love the joke from (probably not actually) nazi times
“Heil Hitler!” “Seh ich aus wie ein Arzt?” Or " Heil ihn selbst!"
In english: “Heil Hitler” “do i look like a doctor?” Or “heal him yourself”
Seinfeld suggested: “You’re soooo good looking!”
Sundials date back at least as far as Egypt and Babylon. They’re still found in gardens and old cities. Can be tricky to set the time accurately! helps to have a compass.
I’ve got one. It’s somewhere where the clocks change twice a year. It took me about a second to decide to align it for summer time; made the most sense.
Without a compass you can set it perfectly around midday on the 23rd / 24th of June.
