My coworker is going through a bit of a rough time and I’m trying to think of something small I could bring her to make her day a bit better.
It cannot contain any alcohol. It cannot contain sugar or carbs (diabetes). She has several young children at home if it helps and is expecting another. I’m also not looking to overwhelm her, so I need it to not be overly obnoxious.
Normally I like to bring sweets to people in scenarios like this, but I can’t in this scenario and I’m at a loss.
Thanks all.
Dinner.
Frozen or take them out. Take the family out. A gift certificate to a local restaurant.
You can almost never go wrong with food. It’s exhausting for someone to have to figure out food for a family every day of the week.
This is the one.
People tend to express care in the ways that they would like to receive it.
Do you notice your friend giving gifts to other people? Maybe instead, she does small acts of kindness, or maybe she compliments people freely? Sometimes it’s as simple as quality time.
When someone is going through a tough time, they might feel very alone. Offering to listen without trying to solve the problem (trust me, they’ve already thought of all the options) is such a generous act.
I kinda rambled… hopefully that makes sense and good luck. You’re a good friend.
I know what you mean. She wouldn’t like most gifts because she seems to not want to be the center of attention or feel like someone needs to give her special treatment.
I don’t notice her really doing any of those things you mention, to be honest. She just generally acts like a super kind person. When it was my birthday she bought me a slice of cake which was nice though and gave me a little note.
In order to avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable or singled out, I used to bring in donuts when I noticed that one of my coworkers was having a rough go. That way they were for everyone and no one would feel like I’m singling them out.
But since the one in the OP has diabetes, I can’t do that anymore and there’s not a good substitute for something like that. I’ve been at a loss ever since.
When it was my birthday she bought me a slice of cake which was nice though and gave me a little note.
Sounds like a small gift + a card/note might be a good idea then.
I would suggest something simple like a coffee card, but if you want to be mindful of caffeine intake for pregnant women then maybe an alternative like a box of caffeine-free tea that’s soothing and calming? Or perhaps aromatherapy in the same vein if she’s not allergic to scents?
Moms with small children are stressful enough on a good day let alone going through rough times, something soothing can hopefully make her day more endurable.
Plus a get well card(or something appropriate for the event) with a short hand-written note can go a long way.
Flowers
Sugar free candy?
🧸
Case of favorite sparkling water
I dunno I’m spit ballin here
Flowers. Even a cheap bunch from the grocery looks nice for several days and reminds you that someone thought of you.
Play Lego with the kids while she goes for a nap or walk.
You know it’s funny…
Most people I know who have had kids want a break from them now and then. But she’s the opposite. Every moment of free time she likes to spend from her kids and doesn’t like to be away from them to do things by herself (even self-care related things) for any reason. I think she probably wishes she didn’t have to work full time so she could be with them more.
Maybe you could get her something she can enjoy with the kids, like a board game or something.
Food is love.
My vote is for hot soup.
Leave her alone. If you’re so unfamiliar with this person that you’re asking strangers on the internet for “gift” ideas to help with “a rough time” just stop. Whole thing is screaming immensely inappropriate.
Jeez. No need to get an attitude about it. I’m a very socially anxious and awkward person. I care very deeply about the person in the OP…more than most other humans on the freaking planet. We spend every day together at work and I love talking to her. I would do almost anything for her.
Just because I’m not great at knowing how to be there for people doesn’t mean that I’m an asshole.
I’m not good with other people and I never have been. That’s why I’ve been a loner all my life. I’m afraid to even freaking compliment people. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be there for people and that I don’t care for them. I just need help figuring out how to do that.
I made the question in the first place because I used to bring in treats like donuts whenever I noticed someone was a bit down at work. It’s a small gesture and it doesn’t single anyone out or make them uncomfortable. No one knew who I may or may not be bringing it treats for. But I had to stop all of that when the issues with diabetes happened and I’ve been at a loss for what to do since.
I’m sorry that I’m not good with people. I never claimed to be. Not all of us are a socially adept as you and it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about others.
I probably won’t end up doing anything anyway out of fear of making her uncomfortable if that makes you feel better. Fine, I guess I really am an asshole. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Based on that wall of text imma double down on “leave her alone.”
Yep, you’re right. Fuck me for wanting to do something nice for someone that I care about. I was thinking about killing myself earlier this week and maybe I’ll go through with it now. That will be the best gift to the planet…dunno why I hadn’t thought about it that way. Thank you for giving me the push that I needed.
Neat.
Finally this place is starting to feel like Reddit used to!
Glad I could be of service. Have you considered downloading the Reddit App for more content of unhinged weirdo antagonizes likely spambot (who is who can you tell ???)
And another thing!
Get her a book, maybe from the Diskworld series, its great for big and small.
A book is a decent idea actually, thanks! She used to read a ton before she had kids. Hard to know exactly what genre she’d go with.
Funny enough she’d probably like to have some more textbooks related to our profession. Those are expensive af tho lol.
Pet Semetary
/s obviously
Discworld is a solid suggestion, it’s very accessible!
The smallest thing I can think about is probably one of those rice grains with a poem written on it.
Lol I had never heard of this. You get an upvote for being a goober.
Maybe a new journal and pen? A coffee or tea? A gift card to treat herself?
I had been thinking the gift card route tbh. I’m also worried she wouldn’t accept it!
Some people don’t want gifts like that, and I’d say respect their wishes. It might make the situation worse otherwise.
Maybe just play it as “I’m running out for a coffee. Let me get you one too.”
Problem is our job doesn’t entirely allow for things like breaks for coffee runs.
If you found out she has gestational diabetes from anyone else but her, and that she’s having a hard time, let it be. If she told you herself in an honest moment of comfort, tell her “I’m so sorry. That sucks.” And let her vent. The last thing she wants is for anyone to make a big deal about it, solve her problems, or choose her diet.
Bring in donuts again. Seriously. She’s an adult and can choose to eat them.
Bring in a more health conscious option. Once again, she can choose to eat it or not.
You’re trying to find an option when most likely you shouldn’t know about her personal health issues in the first place. Unless you have a very close relationship that you aren’t letting us know about, you shouldn’t be trying to figure out something to give her to make her feel better. She could very easily feel ostracized for her pregnancy in the first place. Employers arent super cool with pregnancies, let alone pregnancies that are in any magnitude more difficult.
What makes will make her feel better is a coworker that respects her space and private health matters. Don’t treat her as special. Treat her as human.
A ready-to-bake lasagna or two in those tinfoil trays. No need to worry about dinner, and one to freeze for another day.
You can use alternative low-carb high fibre pasta. (Just saw the carbs thing) Or just make a different meal.
It’s not another ‘thing’ to clutter the house, and it takes off a bunch of stress.
Is she a tea-drinker? Maybe a bag of some really nice tea from a proper tea shop, herbal or otherwise. My experience is that tea drinkers really appreciate a nice artisan-style brew. It’s an understated but thoughtful gesture.
Seconding the Lego suggestion. There’s some really nice fairly cheap sets of flowers, succulents, and city postcards.
We buy people Lego flowers instead of real flowers these days. For something that dies super fast, flowers are too damned expensive.
Stuffed toys, books for the kids and also spend some time with them and reassure her. Give confidence and strength that they can figure it out.
A candle
