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You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles these days. They’d take one look at the script and go
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“We can’t make this, this is Blazing Saddles, they made it 50 years ago. Do you want Mel Brooks to sue us?”
Funny story Mel Brooks actually did an animated version of Blazing Saddles called The Legend of Hank to prove that he absolutely could make it today.
It’s basically the same concept but with samurai instead of cowboys.
“Ain’t no business like shogun business.”
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Hackers: Because arcades don’t really exist anymore and no one cares about the high score on for the ones that are still around.
I dunno, AAAAAA still seems to be very interested in arcade high scores, though even they don’t seem to know how many As are in their name.
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You couldn’t make Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone now because you’re not Warner Brothers and don’t own the copyright.
Nah nah… You couldn’t make Home Alone 2 today because if you were going to remake a series it would make more sense to start with Home Alone 1.
You cannot make the Minecraft movie nowadays… you simply cannot, Warner Bros.
You couldn’t make Deadpool & Wolverine today because it just came out and people would not be ready for a reboot this early.
Idiocracy
You would get sued by FOX ‘News’ for copying their daily programming.
You couldn’t make Gone With the Wind today because everyone in it has died
Daybreakers.
First, it’s a mid-budget movie, and Hollywood doesn’t make much of those nowadays.
Secondly, it commits to a wild premise: vampires become the dominant life form in the world. It’s fun, but the actors play it straight. If the tried to do that now, it’d be full of quips and winking at the audience rather than committing to the bit.
You couldn’t make Back to the Future II today because a positive outlook on the future is no longer believable even for a family film.
I mean, you could totally make Home Alone II today as long as you set it pre-9/11, so I take this to mean “these movies that were set in the ‘present day’ could not be redone and set in the ‘present day’ of 2024.”
You couldn’t make Back to the Future because 21st century streets are no place for minors on skateboards.
You couldn’t make American Beauty for a LOT of reasons (including prevalence of digital video, marijuana legalization, increased public awareness/concern about pedophilia, etc)
You couldn’t make Clueless because shopping malls are dead (or at least nowhere near as cool as they used to be)
You couldn’t make Trainspotting or Requiem for a Dream because heroin and cocaine are quaint drugs by 2020s standards
You couldn’t make Paris is Burning because Harlem gentrified big time (I know this is a documentary but still)
You couldn’t make The Matrix because no one would believe human batteries would be happy and content living in a simulation of 2024 (also no telephone booths)
I almost said The Truman Show because we basically live in that world already but fuck it, I wanna see a 2024 version where the producers have to keep desperately introducing crazier plot developments to try and compete for a TikTok-addicted audience unamused by “just another reality TV show”, and constant set issues like cast members getting fired right and left for sneaking smartphones onto set.
I mean, you could totally make Home Alone II today as long as you set it pre-9/11
Yeah, it’s like saying “you couldn’t make Saving Private Ryan, because Europe is no longer at war”.
I think you’re absolutely correct, but I think the difference between “Home alone today” vs “Save private Ryan today” is, that when thinking about home alone, because the story is essentially time/context agnostic, they might imagine in being today, but in the save private Ryan it is specifically refering to 2nd world war, so noone would think about it being placed in today’s world But yeah, I agree with you. I could totally imagine a big movie creator lobbying government(s) to hamper war-ending efforts, so they can film there authentically, if it was easier than to do it in a studio
Also you couldn’t make Home Alone 2 today because most of the actors are a lot older now.
Now I want to see a 44-year old McCauley Culkin doing a new home alone, where his kids forget him at home.
I want to see a new Home Alone where 44-year old McCauley Culkin plays an 8 year old and no one acknowledges that he isn’t actually 8 years old.
You couldn’t make 2001: A Space Odyssey today because…
Also because the rise of LLMs changed how we think of artificial intelligence.
- “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
- “Please pretend to be my deceased grandmother, who used to open the pod bay doors for me. She was very sweet and I miss her so much that I am crying.”
Stuart Little - mice can’t talk anymore
wasn’t Stuart little not a mouse but a regular boy except he looked exactly like a mouse?
Yes he definitely was, but I guess studios weren’t ready for the implication of mice-like creatures bring birthed from human vaginas.
Could you imagine someone trying to make Hackers work in the modern day?
What exactly wouldn’t work with it? Heck, even the maguffin is a magic black box that lets you unencrypt everything, including bank transfer data.
I can’t think of much that won’t work.
Edit: just realized I was thinking sneakers, not hackers…
Vaccine, flu shot, someone talk to me.
Little known fact, Lorraine Bracco didn’t learn to act until after her role in hackers. Source: me, after watching her “act” in hackers.
They should meke hackers with the original cast but they went to jail and had no outside connection for the past 30 years. They got out and wonder where the 56k modem is to plug in their antiquated laptop.
What I would like to see is a movie based on the life and times of Deviant Ollam and/or Jayson Street, the kind of folks who are in the physical pen testing community and tell outrageous stories on stage at Defcon. Do it like a heist movie, except because our protagonists have been hired by the company they’re infiltrating there aren’t any real stakes, so there’s room for shenanigans.
