I write this with homemade maple jalapeno cornbread in my mouth, gifted to me by the bar staff at my local pub this evening. This is simultaneously the best and most unexpected thing I’ve ever brought home from a bar, my significant other excepted.

This got me thinking: what is the weirdest thing you’ve brought home from the bar, Lemmy?

  • ABCDE@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    A sofa, which went into the attic until we moved out. We tried getting it out and made a hole in the wall.

  • Drunemeton@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    Be me: out drinking with friends for several hours.

    Be them: acting completely normal.

    Be me: drinking makes you pee, so me go pee, many times.

    Be us: we’re drunk! Having a great time.

    Be them: still acting completely normal.

    Be me: say good night and put on my leather jacket.

    Be me brain: Damn I’m drunk cuz this thing feels like it weights a ton ! Stumble home.

    Be me front door: watching the confused, bemused, astonished drunk reach for his keys and pull lemon after lime after orange out of his pockets, but no keys.

    Be me front door glass: Watching him stuff them into his jeans pockets like a never ending clown car of NINE pieces of citrus.

    Be me keyhole: Watching drunk-e-poo finally find his keys, and let himself in.

    Be me: laughing and drunk and wondering what the hell’s going on…

    Be them: laughing their asses off, wondering when I’d finally notice that every time I got up to pee they took whole bar garnish and put it in my pockets.

  • zante@lemmy.wtfEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    My wife !

    Baddum tshhhhhh

    Thanks folks, tip generously and tell your friends I’m here all week.

  • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    A friend brought home a giant, bright blue, sparkly Mary-in-a-bathtub. We googled it afterwards and found out that it was super valuable, so we brought it back, but it took three of us to get it back there and was much less fun than stealing it.

  • orcrist@lemm.ee
    0·
    2 months ago

    Many years ago I got to the bar early, before my friends, and while waiting I applied for a job using their Wi-Fi. And I got the job. The job looked good on paper but my new boss f***** me by wage theft and pocketing pension contributions. It was fun, but it would have been more fun if I had been paid according to the law.

  • Today@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    I brought home a spoon this week. Friend also got one. They’re really nice spoons. Trying to decide where to put it - silverware drawer seems a little dismissive of how excited we were to get them.

  • SolarMonkey@slrpnk.netEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    Skindred cd, case of strongbow, few bottles of liquor, promotional pack of jeagermeister swag (metal bar sign, bombshot glasses, thongs, t-shirts), and various other little things.

    Customer appreciation golf outing then party night, everyone at the golf outing got raffle tickets (I didn’t go to that), but then got too drunk to keep track of them, so I ended up with like 12 of the winning tickets at the end of the night when everyone was clearing out.

    One of my friends brings homemade hot sauce to the bar and gives little tester bottles to people tho.

  • lime!@feddit.nuEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    lots of plastic straws. not of my own accord, a friend i was out with just kept shoving them into our pockets because she was annoyed at only being able to buy paper straws at the store.

  • TunaLobster@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    Not from a bar directly, but on the walk back from the bars. I picked up a brick paver. They had just finished laying everything down in the courtyard of a new building and there was 1 brick sitting there. I looked for spot to drop that brick into close by, but I didn’t see a spot. So I carried it home!

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    Some guy known only as “The Brazilian”

    The only thing I know about him is that he was not Brazilian.