Because I honestly can’t. I can barely talk with the very few people I know. Is just so out of my range. That’s why I don’t have friends or a partner and I don’t see that changing.
EDIT: no, responding comments here or asking this question ISN’T having a conversation for me. So I don’t feel this as “progress”.
you can, it just takes practice.
talking to people reminds me how similar everybody is and how connected we all are, regardless of what I read on the internet.
traveling, even to a different town, will make it much more likely you’ll talk to strangers
international travelers are far more gracious and interested in people as a group than any other group I know.
people anywhere, though, seem to enjoy hearing an idle idea or personal observation. a lot of people are lonely or so set in their routine that anything new is exciting, so I’ll try and say something just to let them know that somebody else has noticed they exist.
I love giving small compliments about hair or clothes, because people are invariably shocked to receive them.
Every single day. I am someone who people just really open up to. I don’t know what it is but I have the craziest conversations.
Ive heard this kind of stuff happens in my city more than other big cities. Line at the grocery store or such. It is less than it was when I was a kid and young adult though.
I’ll be frank, if you don’t have friends or a partner and you aren’t willing to leave your comfort zone to talk to people then to me it indicates a lack of willingness on your side. Why don’t you want those enough to overcome your faults and just keep at it?
gestures to the site we are all using rn
All the time. I don’t know any of you!
You don’t know that! All you know is that you don’t know if you know any of us. ;)
That implies I know people IRL.
I can assure you, I do not.
Yes, lots. And not because I’m an extrovert. It’s a very commonly used life skill and I wouldn’t, for example, be able to do my job without it.
I have conversations with strangers all day every day. I’m an uber driver. Best job I’ve ever had.
No. Between being really poor about remembering names and whether I’ve met someone before, and always being suspicious about their motives for approaching me, it never goes well.
This past summer I travelled down south and it was a strange experience - people were friendly and wanted to chat, and even be helpful, and not once was there an obvious scam. I’m too old to be discovering something like this but I’ve always been with family or friends or something, or visiting tourist spots, but this time I was wandering in “normal” places. After a week, I was finally open to small talk without suspicion, but what an experience!
I live right below the dividing line between north and south. People here are definitely southern in attitude and habit. All the bullshit small talk drove me crazy as a kid. As an adult I tolerate it but I still don’t care for it.
On the other hand for my work I travel extensively. I love working in the north because nobody bothers me or asks what I’m doing. This can be a serious problem in the south because if I don’t indulge people they may decide I’m rude and then complain about me.
I’m always sitting primed and ready for some random chit chat but I’m too shy to initiate. If you ever see a mid 20s male sitting alone, he more than likely would be more than happy to talk to you or anyone for that matter.
We don’t get alot of attention when not seeked out :/
I do now, tho I prefer to read in silence. What helped me, was to remind myself, that in the grand scheme of things this conversation and any opinion this stranger will have of me is irrelevant.
I can, yes. Do I often? I do so less now than I did when I was younger just because I’m not in as many places where random conversations would happen.
As others have said, it takes practice to be able to do that. Along with that, I’d recommend reading up on active listening. A lot of people are happy to talk if others listen.
Yep, and yep. They’re just humans, nothing to be scared of
If you having trouble knowing what to say in a conversation is what you’re getting at, I can relate to that. Once in a while I’ll have found a stranger whose standards I can meet, but they’re so few and far between that no tangible friendships have been made.
I have conversations with strangers all the time. I believe everyone is capable of this through the power of alcohol.
I noticed early in my 20’s that my social anxiety had gotten to a point where I couldn’t casually chat with random people. So I made an effort to do it anyway even though the results wouldn’t be favourable for a while. It took a few years before I noticed it didn’t take much of a push any more to start. I’m 40 now and while I still don’t enjoy talking to strangers, especially when just making meaningless small talk, I at least don’t have a wall of pre-dread anymore to climb in the case that I do need/want to talk to a stranger. Like if they dropped something, or if I want a product in a store that is not currently stocked on the shelf.
