I’m gonna be honest, I’m not asking for a friend, I’m asking for myself. Our daughter (24) married this man (65) in September. She herself stated money was the main reason, and he knows it but it doesn’t bother him. Both my husband & I are having a very hard time getting used to the idea.

  • Smokeydope@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    You’ll both have lots of time to get used to the idea. Sorry to hear that your daughter turned into a gold digger marrying out of financial convinence instead of love. Its kind of unsavory and understandable why its causing some cognitive dissonance. But well thats the kind of thing our society incentivises and she’s an adult who can make her own choices. Its hard to judge too hard. Hope the husband is alright personality wise and even if this is dark to say, you can take some solice in that statistically speaking its probably not going to last too long and she will probably inherit some assets. If it all burns down it will be a hard but good lesson in not being with people just to extract value out of them.

    • Dragonstaff@leminal.space
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      1 month ago

      a gold digger

      the husband

      Why use a perjorative for her and not him?

      Surely the 65 year old marrying a 24 year old deserves exactly as much shame as she does. Do you think his motives are any less selfish than hers?

      • Smokeydope@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I didn’t know gold digger was perojatorive, I thought it was just the common name given for that kind of behavior.

        Human beings at base are emotionally complex, greedy, self- interested horny apes driven by comfort and convinence. Theres no shame in acknowledging less virtuous parts of our animalistic nature and addressing their manifestions of behavior in ourselves and others honestly.

        Does it suck that some people are materialistic? Yes, but I dont shame them for it. That comes from part instinctual nature and part of social conditioning for hierarchical society. Theres plenty of cultures where marriage for political and financial power plays is completely publically normalized. Just not the one where I or presumably OP come from.

        I agree that a 65 year old person being with a 25 year old person introduces a yuck factor but an conventionally named ‘prerogative’ for that behavior doesn’t come to mind especially not when I wrote the comment. Would ‘Youth-digger’ be appropriate?