Hello,

I could use an online friend who wants to help me focus on what’s most important in life.

I wasted most of my last 15 years. In last year or so, I lost +30kg, started hiking, physiotherapy, weightlifting, therapy, social dancing. My life changed twice. Second change was almost too good to be true.

My todos are related to

  1. health (discipline, routine, self care),
  2. relationships (facing my fear or what I avoid, choosing right person(s)) and
  3. financial life (adding value to land I own, choosing a business to focus on).

I’m in my early 30s, straight M, and I am usually in EU. I can probably visit you if you are in EU.

  • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 days ago

    First, well done on all the improvements you’ve made to yourself. You should be proud not only of identifying what it was about yourself you wanted to improve, but also following through with it. Well done!

    I could use an online friend who wants to help me focus on what’s most important in life.

    …and…

    1. relationships (facing my fear or what I avoid, choosing right person(s))

    On the relationship side,

    A. Relationships are bidirectional - part would be showing care and concern for the person you’re looking to interact with. A friendship should be bi-directional. You’re stating what you want from the relationship here completely in divorced from anything your potential friend would want or need. Where are you showing concern and help for the person you want to be friends with? Why would someone want to be a friend if you’re starting the relationship with you just receiving, and not giving in return?

    B. Show value - Besides the attributes of being a breathing and speaking human (those have value too), what special talents or knowledge do you have that you can help your friend in achieving their goals?

    These are components for all relationship, but specifically for friendships too.

    • amksenin@lemmy.worldOP
      0·
      2 days ago

      i mentioned i could visit this person even tho he is in a different country. is that nothing?

      • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
        0·
        1 day ago

        With the additional context of your post, it sounds like you would be willing to go to the other country to accomplish you goals for your benefit as that was the main thrust of your post as written.

        Communicate statements about what you’d like to do together with your new friend and how you can help them with their goals, then that statement about visiting is much more impactful to a new friend.

  • shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    0·
    2 days ago

    Are you following any weightlifting program in particular? I got a barbell and a rack during Covid and turned myself into a brick shithouse with 531 and tactical barbell. /r/weightroom is the community I miss the most from reddit

    • amksenin@lemmy.worldOP
      0·
      2 days ago

      damn, good on you bro, i’m not following a program but i prolly should. why do you miss that community or how did it help?

  • C A B B A G E@feddit.ukEnglish
    0·
    2 days ago

    That’s an awesome set of improvements - well done!

    I can’t promise to be any use to you, but I’m glad to swap ideas about what the fuck to make of our 30s…

    • cabbage@piefed.socialEnglish
      0·
      2 days ago

      Sweet user name!

      More on topic, the 30s are messed up indeed. Or maybe it’s just that I’m now in my 30s and the world is fucked. In either case I’m not a big fan.

      • C A B B A G E@feddit.ukEnglish
        0·
        2 days ago

        Thanks - same to you!

        I think it’s a combo of being a “real” adult, thinking about the implications of things going on in the world (on yourself and everyone else) and the world being a mess.

        Still, at least I’m old enough to be comfortable in my self (even if it’s anxious, unfit, and aching) and generally happy to just be.

  • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    2 days ago

    I am so happy for you for all that self improvement! It’s really brave to put yourself out there like this, too. I’m on the other side of the planet but I hope you find some folks close by or at least in a compatible time zone!

    • cabbage@piefed.socialEnglish
      0·
      2 days ago

      Welcome here! It’s more focused on public discussion and less on individuals here, but there are some friendly communities around here as well. I hope you’ll like it, but it might not indeed be the best platform for developing proper friendships. :)

        • cabbage@piefed.socialEnglish
          0·
          1 day ago

          If you want this as a platform to socialize, I think the best thing you can do is to follow your interests, see if there are communities in what you’re interested in here already, and if there are not see if you can get one started.

          One community I find particularly inspiring is [email protected], initiated by a single user (@[email protected]) who is making an amazing effort and now attracting quite a bit of attention from a bunch of followers.

          But of course, it can also be challenging to build a community, as well as time consing - I have to admit I don’t really interact that much with online communities myself these days.