I got detention for being ahead in reading. We were reading a text in class, people got turns to read part of the text out loud. And they were reading so slowly that I was way ahead of them. So when the teacher gave the turn to read out loud to me, I didn’t fully know where the previous reader had left.
My neighbour whispered the next line to me, but that line appeared twice in the text.

So I started reading from the second occurence of that line but with the next line after that there was a lot of confusion in class.

The teacher told me to stay behind for detention, because of that.

Making a fireball with the schools powdered coffee creamer.

Telling other kids to stop talking because, if they didn’t, they’d get in trouble.

Putting my arm around my girlfriend’s shoulder while we were sitting at an assembly. I wasn’t doing anything inappropriate, we were just sitting there. But the principal took me aside at one point and told me to stop.

When I was in second grade, my teacher saw me bend a paperclip once. For the rest of the year she would scream my name every time she found a bent paperclip and insist I must have bent it. One time she took away a snack I had because there was a twist tie on the bag and she insisted it was one of her paperclips I stole and bent.

Another time she got mad at me and insisted I was chewing gum when I was actually just eating graphite from my mechanical pencil. I don’t think I can really blame her for that one though

Smoking. Dumbest fuckin thing…

For calling myself gay. My teacher just assumed I was using it as an insult and referring to myself as being terrible. It took a visit to the principals office with the teacher and going “No. Seriously. I am an out of the closet homosexual. Ask anyone in that class.” They ended up apologizing but I was just kinda pleased they were taking it that seriously in the first place.

I got in trouble for not singing during rehearsal for our 2nd grade Christmas concert. I remember this because I was definitely singing and it’s the first time I can remember getting in trouble for something I didn’t do and having no power to do anything about it. I actually love singing so much that I ended up singing in any group I could join in highschool and college. Really though, that teacher just didn’t like me very much 🫤

Getting a 99% grade, proof I don’t care about education and don’t pay attention to anything other than stupid video games. How hard is it to Just Follow Directions? I am so glad I’m not a child anymore.

One day at 5th grade recess I was just walking by myself when some kid jumps on my back and starts choking me. I reflexively bent forward causing him to fall. I was suspended for a week. He got nothing

I got jumped and I yelled back “effing assholes” just like that. We all got the same punishment, them for beating me up and me for “profanity”.

Fuck that school lol

Not doing the Hokey Pokey correctly. Yes, corporal punishment was still a thing. Yes, it mentally scarred me.

Reading a book in English class. Had a high school English teacher that was out sick half the time and spent literally all of the remaining time they were actually in to teach us, reading through the assigned novel for the curriculum. (barely 20% of the curriculum overall) I was/am an avid reader so had the novel finished on my own in about a week and a half and got bored of listening to the terrible accents and voices being attempted by the teacher so Brought in my own book from the library and hid that in the cover of the prescribed novel to read. Teacher caught me and sent a letter home to my parents. Absolute nonsense!

In 2nd grade the teacher had to step out of the room for several minutes and put me in charge. If anyone misbehaved, I was to write their name on the chalkboard. One group of boys did misbehave, so I wrote down their names.

When the teacher returner, she scolded me for “being a snitch” and sent me to the principal’s office.

5th grade music (singing) class. We’re practicing a song for an upcoming assembly. It’s cheesy. An excerpt:

We can fight all the evil, we can fight all the hate
If we do it together, it won’t be too late
If we do it together, it won’t be too late

During the song, two adjacent kids start laughing every time it says “We can do it together” because “do it” = “have sex” even though most of us don’t know what it entails at this age, myself included. The teacher glares at them but does nothing else. Several other kids including me chuckle at the scene. This goes on for 3 weeks.

Now comes the dress rehearsal. Today is special because two 5th grade classes are having a joint rehearsal. All of us are a little giddy because there are double the kids crammed into the same space.

In anticipation of getting caught up in the infectious laughter, as the words “do it” approach I hide my face behind my sheet music. Suddenly, the backing CD track cuts out. I lowered the paper from my face she was already halfway to the clown kid sitting beside me. Except… she comes to me. In this abrupt silence she explodes at me, point blank, index finger brandished:

“YOU NEED TO GROW UP! IT IS NOT ABOUT HAVING SEX!”

She singled me out. I was embarrassed.

Only after class did I learn from my homeroom teacher that the two instigators had recently been given a very stern talking to, such that the music teacher thought it was resolved until my hiding face gave her the impression it was not. Thankfully my homeroom teacher understood and I received no further consequences other than all of this living in my head for the next 30 years and forever.