Your options are to continue to be miserable or work on yourself. You don’t seem to want to do the work, but you do a good job pulling down excuses.
I’ve mentioned plenty of ways to get around being broke. But you don’t want help. You want to complain. Hopefully some day you’ll get past that. I wish you luck with your health issues.
Changing yourself is not erasing yourself. It’s improving yourself. ‘Old and weird’? Nah, I got lots of old weirdos that are an absolute delight in my life.
Okay, you’re not a bad person. How is someone supposed to know that? What do you do? Tell me about yourself, but don’t say stuff about what you are. Tell me what you do. 3 things.
Chances are the more you do, the more you’ll find yourself around people that will find what you do desirable.
“being unlucky” - aren’t we all, at least sometimes? “Unable to be social” - believe it or not, this is a learnable skill! Google or YouTube ‘how to make friendly conversation’ “Having no one around” - are you living alone in a forest where you must hunt/gather all your food? Even if that is the case, you clearly have the Internet! “Being a failed adult” - again, all adult skills are learned skills. That’s why babies are so bad at adulting. “No job or money” - those are things you can get! The more skills you have, the easier it will be! “To offer any woman” - If your goal is a GF, get skills that make you a desirable partner.
Plenty of good qualities don’t cost a dime.
Edit: and you are totally capable. It’s just going to take effort, which, judging from your replies, you don’t want to put in. Can’t help with that part.
I’ll say it again. Kill the part of yourself that resists change or it will kill you.
I have AuADHD. Executive dysfunction so bad I will look at clothes next to the laundry basket and say “those go in the basket” and then walk away. Then do it again 10 more times in the next half hour. I get it. I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s very much not. But you gotta walk away from your learned helplessness or nothing will ever change.
My point before was that small steps are still steps. Most skills are learned in tiny increments. You won’t be able to look back and see progress for a bit. That doesn’t mean there’s no progress. If your goal is to feel bad for yourself you’re succeeding. But if it’s to become a functioning adult then you gotta start somewhere sometime. Yesterday was the best time to start but today is the second best.
I responded elsewhere as well, but I want to say this here too: you clearly have some issues, and it can be really hard to deal with that when you’re not in a good mental or financial place, but I encourage you to find a way.
Pick something. Anything at all, that you are interested in learning or doing and google it. Learn a skill. You’re worth the time it takes. Start working towards a way to be a success on something. Anything. Learn to be a good cook. Learn to code. Learn to juggle (admittedly less helpful in the real world, but at least interesting). It doesn’t matter what but start working some kind of improvement. When I was a baby, I couldn’t do anything for myself, but turns out if you do something enough times you learn anyway.
This isn’t about the sex thing. It’s about you feeling stuck and unable to move forward. It’s about you feeling like a failure and being mad at yourself for feeling that way. Your brain will resist change. Kill the part of you that refuses change before it kills you.
You don’t have to sit stagnant even if it feels helpless. I promise that by doing something, anything, you’ll start to feel a tiny bit better week over week. And some day, you’ll look back on this question and know the answer (assuming that’s a goal of yours).
Then go get some qualities that are worth shit in the real world.
I’ve had this exact experience in a few rentals I’ve driven. The car can’t actually see or have judgement of what’s going on. A random beep and pop up message that I have to read while going down the highway is as distracting as a text message. If I move the wheel, it’s because I want to go somewhere, and if the car decides to fight me I end up overcompensating. Just let ME drive the car. I’m the one with the license.
Some improvements have been overall great, but more and more I’m seeing those that are unnecessary and down right dangerous.
It’s because in the majority of cultures (and hegemonic cultures today) have had men at the top of their hierarchical structure and there are more straight men. The male gaze makes women into sexual objects, culturally we see women as inherently sexy as a result.
This is the same when you see little kids given dolls with different skin colors and told to pick the “good” and “bad” doll. Even children of color pick the white doll for the good one. Because “normal” or “default” means good. In the case of sexual attraction in a straight male dominated society, that means sexual attraction to women.
Edited: I accidentally pushed the post button too soon…
While this is indeed a list, it pales in comparison to what you can do in or near a large city.
I enjoy a ton of things on your list but there’s stuff you just can’t easily do outside of a metro area. Especially stuff you need a specialized teacher for.
Aside from the fact that this isn’t true for people giving up their citizenship (in the US at least), it’s especially not true around the world. Lots of people are born stateless or made stateless during conflict or upheaval.
Cruise ships are more about the amenities on board. Not sure how many amenities you could get on an airship because of the weight. So it would be a two days boring as hell trip and most people aren’t going to give up the vacay time to sit around and do nothing.
I have mint too and haven’t had much trouble with bandwidth. But to be fair I don’t use my phone for very much while not on wifi, mostly just streaming music and Google maps.
I grew up on a road called Gay. I think my whole childhood would be cancelled.
Eh, I grew up conservative and I started swinging in high school (then admitted it to myself in college) mostly over gay rights, which were becoming more and more front and center debate at the time. At the time I would have said I was 100% straight and 100% woman, but I had gay friends and I wanted them to have all the things I could have. It was my first ideological break.
Sometimes it you, sometimes it’s the people you care about which get affected. While it might be true that people with low empathy might have to be directly effected, the reality is that for most people it will be simply gaining an affected friend. This is why college makes you liberal, by the way. It’s not the teachings, it’s the fact that you spend time rubbing elbows with real people who turn out to be nothing like the caricatures you were told they would be.
I grew up very conservative with a very conservative father. I was severely depressed. My father straight up used to say that mental health issues were not real and believed therapy was bad thing. He once yelled at an allergist that prescribed me Zyrtec because he got it confused with Zoloft. 16 year old me would have killed myself before admitting to him or anyone else that I was thinking about suicide.
I’m much better now, on the whole, but sometimes I do wonder how I managed to get through my teen years alive. I think I honestly was just stubborn. My father takes a much more relaxed view of mental health now, and had even offered to go to therapy with my mother before he filed for divorce (she was worse than him and refused to see a therapist even to save their marriage). But yeah, teens in conservative households are going to toe the line for what they are taught. Even if they know there’s something wrong they aren’t going to ask for help for their parents if they feel their parents reaction will be negative. This was my lived experience anyway.
Happy to report I’m a raging liberal now and my father and I don’t discuss politics in order to maintain our familial relationship. Occasionally I’ll trick him into agreeing with a principal that conservatives say they support and then bring up some legislation from the GOP that directly contradicts that principal. I don’t press it though and he doesn’t seem to absorb it much, but that’s just how it is for people convinced the GOP are the good guys.
Obviously this guy is just trolling but the idea that conservatives (who one the whole are older and live in more rural areas with less access to healthcare) are more likely to be in good physical shape than liberals (more likely to be young and live in cities where there are wide healthcare opportunities) actually did make me laugh a little.
While I agree that flexible time off for children isn’t a big ask, it’s disingenuous to say that childreee people are somehow not deserving of those same accommodations because they have more money and free time. First off, you don’t know someone’s personal or financial situation. They could be helping to support their aging parents or something. And second, it’s a choice to be a parent or not. If I go out and buy a Bugatti I don’t therefore deserve to have some special treatment from my job. And while kids are obviously more important to accommodate than a lot of other things (like cars, lol) they don’t somehow make the parents extra super special because they have a FaMiLy. Everyone has a family!
Reality is everyone needs those kinds of accommodations sometimes and employers should realize that employees are human with lives outside work.
Want to drop some links for where to get started? I only sort of understand what you just said but I like the idea of my own network and it being easier than it seems!
I don’t think that at all. I think you’re struggling and this is a cry for help. I’m just trying to give you a stick. (Like https://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/post/41509206591/ive-been-getting-a-lot-of-these-lately-and-i )
Unfortunately no one outside yourself will be able to save you on this one. You have to decide to make effort to improve. Especially if you’re not in the financial position to get professional help. Good luck and I wish you the best.