like being told to “move my fat ass” or just plain annoying and then telling me they were joking.
it’s a sign of immaturity, imo. a “look at me, senpai” move that hurts other people.
There is this strange belief that humor is exempt from consequences.
In the book “Jam” by “Yahtzee Croshaw” there is a post-apocalyptic sect formed by a group of people from an internet forum. They are not stupid of course; they form a sect ironically. Then they worship a rambling drunk old man called Bob ironically and have ironic sermons and ironically imprison nonbelievers at the ironic orders of the High Priest.
If you point out that this is stupid and evil, they will roll their eyes and go “Duh!”, then ironically execute you for heresy.
deleted by creator
He’s the guy who did the Zero Punctuation game reviews for The Escapist so probably.
Note he still does hose kind of videos under a different name for Second Wind.
You see when any kind of asshole wants to be an asshole, they’ll say some things. If you like and/or agree, it’s all good with them. If you get offended then they get to be a different kind of asshole because you don’t like them being an asshole. They are banking on most people’s unwillingness to be confrontational and call them on their bullshit, especially women, minorities, or members of any other vulnerable group.
There’s only two functional counters to their assholery; either be confrontational and be a bigger but contextually justified asshole to them until they fuck off, or retreat. While counterattacking is more likely to get them to back down or realize they can’t always be an asshole, it comes with inherent risks that make most people avoid it. This is understandable, as you never know what kind of maniac the asshole might be, and local or immediate circumstances might not favor you. However if you’re in a position to put them in your place and willing to accept the any possible harm, it’s morally and ethically justifiable to stand up to them.
“In what way is that funny?” Is a simple way of countering the “it’s a joke”-cover for assholery.
It’s called bullying.
They’re bullying you.
Just ignore them, and if they don’t tell them to stop, and if they have a hissyfit over being told to stop don’t labour the point.
They really think everything is ok as long as it’s just a joke
Most of the time they’re just assholes.
Schrödinger’s asshole. It’s testing boundaries. If you say something, they’ll claim it was just a joke. If you don’t they’ll keep going and likely get worse.
Damn it, beat me to it. Nip it in the bud/butt. Tell them you’re what you’re not ok “joking” about or being attacked (either at all or what topics are off limits).
You need to set the rules or standards of engagement and let them make the choice to sef-filter themselves out of your life if they choose to ignore the rules you’ve implicitly and explicitly given fair warning about
Show people how to treat you I guess I’m saying. If you dont set standards for yourself, others will fill the vacuum with their own which is not custom made for you
It’s bud. Like cut it off before it blooms into whatever awful thing it’s growing into.
This is how assholes test your boundaries to see how far they can push you. It wasn’t a joke until you pushed back.
In the terms of the cliche, they’re trying to have their cake and eat it too.
They want the immediate gratification of being rude assholes, so they do it just long enough for that initial rush, then they back away to try to avoid the consequences.
Ugh, I have a friend whose humour often involves mean-spirited jibes and put-downs. I was in a low mood one day and told him I didn’t like the tone of his “jokes”, that they sometimes stung. He really dialled back after that.
You’re fortunate. I had a friend who was similar, but rather than verbal, his jokes generally involved intentionally acting in a way he knew you found annoying. I once told him that being annoying was, in fact, annoying and not amusing. He said “sorry I upset you. I’ll probably keep doing it though.” I said that that wasn’t what sorry meant … He didn’t respond and did, indeed, keep doing it.
He and I have both grown up a lot since then. I don’t see him often, but I don’t think he’s intentionally annoying anymore.
Depends are we taking annoying stuff?
Then it might be that you didn’t understand their sense of humor.
Are we talking rude things ? It’s hard to say. Without being there I would hesitate to judge in either direction. Was it that they were actually being rude and are just an asshole? Was it not that bad and you don’t get their sense of humor? Is it that you actually have no sense is humor? It’s difficult to know without a lot more detail.
The fat ass… That is difficult to judge… Yeah up front I’d say yeah it’s rude and would never do it. But I do know people that do talk to each other that way and neither person has no problem with it. Again I wouldn’t but I’m not there so… It’s hard to say why that exact group does it.
Because the last thing some people want to do is be accountable
Depends. Sometimes they take a bad swing at a joke and realize they fucked it up… sometimes though they’re just assholes they are trying to cover being an ass.
It’s usually a matter of context to tell which is which.
this happens to me all the time
tfkirp issthty
Most of the times I swing and miss with a joke, the other person just doesn’t connect with my humor. Instead of being offended, I find they’re just confused by what just happened.
For example, I had a joke I found funny, but apperently I’m the only one who finds it funny.
See, what you do is…you go to a place that wouldn’t have mustard, like a bus stop. And you ask
Uhhhh…where’s the mustard?
And they say something that indicates they don’t know, or there isn’t any. And you say
Oh, ok. Sorry.
I find that joke hilarious. Nobody else gets it. But they aren’t offended…
Oh yeah that’s generally true, but something like calling a person fat just sounds like someone’s being an asshole and then when they get called out they turn it into your problem for being “too sensitive” because it was “just a joke” – ie. continuing to be an asshole
If your neighbour’s donkey is eating your flowers you’re entitled to ask them to move their fat ass.
The correct thing to do with a swing and a miss like that is to apologize. If there’s no apology, it’s the asshole thinking they have an actual excuse.
Over time, you start seeing a pattern. If the (superficially) rude things mostly make you laugh, it’s the former, if they mostly make you feel bad, it’s the latter.
Because punch them in the face. That’s how you stop that behavior.
Oh, did I punch you in the face? It was just a joke!
And suddenly they think twice about being an asshole.
Using their logic against them never works.
Oh, it’s not the logic that works. It’s the punch in the face.
“I was an asshole…and that guy punched me. I want to be an asshole…but I don’t want to get punched again…”
Thats a simplified version of it. The extended version is multiple punches to the face.
That’s terrible advice. Use words not your fists, unless you want to be arrested.
Hit them with a bigger insult and call it a joke. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t hear you as I was overwhelmed by the horror of your hideous face. Just a joke.’ Or ‘I’m fat because your (insert family member here) feeds me when I fuck them.’
