• PoPoP@lemm.ee
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    3 days ago

    I think it’s as weird and antisocial as the next guy to call women “females” but I also think it’s weird that it’s treated like not receiving approval from women is the worst possible thing that can happen to a man when implying that women need male approval is obviously sexist

    • quack@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      Personally I think that using sexual desirability as a point of ridicule is pretty toxic regardless of who is doing it and it’s not going to help to solve the problem, but “not receiving approval from women” kind of is the worst possible thing that can happen for a lot of them, at least in their minds. The whole “men and females” thing has its roots in incel culture and they’re well known to obsess over the tiniest facets of their interactions with women to the point of nausea, looking for any excuse to condemn women for not being attracted to them. They see not receiving approval from women as the ultimate condemnation of not only women, but also themselves. It’s why people use it as an insult - it’s effective against them.

      • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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        2 days ago

        I really don’t think making this about incels makes sense and I’ll demonstrate why:

        Woman calls me unfuckable -> I’m an incel

        I call a woman unfuckable -> I’m an incel

        There’s little logical consistency around the topic and it’s kind of just become a loophole to cancel morality when it comes to attacking men. I’m really careful with my wording to avoid triggering this response because if I do, people stop processing what I’m saying and they start dogpiling.

    • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      idk, some incels will certainly act like not getting approval from women was the worst possible thing that could happen to them, and then go and do something much worse to others

      • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        yeah but this post isn’t about incels. posts like these shoot strays at all men

        • kautau@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          While I agree, it specifically says “those men,” so I think the idea is that men who see women as wombs or genes or whatever should also expect to be viewed with the same lens

          • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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            3 days ago

            It’s not about that. It’s their choice of insult. Saying “people who voted for Trump are retarded” doesn’t make it not ableist just because you specified it’s about Trump voters. Catch my drift?

            • kautau@lemmy.world
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              3 days ago

              Ah I see what you’re saying, yeah agreed. I think I too quickly read your comment, cheers

        • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          That’s how generalizations and language work. It’s ALWAYS implied that it’s not ALL of a group. Unless someone says “literally all men”, and then whatever that person is saying is wrong because there’s no way it’s literally all.

          So good news, is you’re not like that, it’s not about you.

          • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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            3 days ago

            my entire point is that generalizations are harmful lmao

          • mindaika@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            3 days ago

            Awesome. So when other racists like yourself talk about “Blacks” or “Mexicans,” that’s fine because we can just assume you don’t mean “ALL Mexicans are rapists,” right?

            • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              I don’t follow. How does being bigoted about a group based on race get better when you target less than 100%?

              • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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                1 day ago

                Why excuse the same being done for men? I would have said “a group based on sex”, but the people doing this definitely understand the issue when it’s women.

                • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  There’s a good chance you and I won’t ever agree on this, but let me check.

                  Do you believe that the current system is biased in favor of straight white men?

        • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          They’re pretty much the only group I know of that uses female that way on purpose, but I suppose we could just throw in all misogynists and my comment would still apply

          • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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            3 days ago

            I think you’re not really getting what I’m saying. See my other comment:

            It’s not about that. It’s their choice of insult. Saying “people who voted for Trump are retarded” doesn’t make it not ableist just because you specified it’s about Trump voters. Catch my drift?

            Equating moral corruption to sexual undesirability is just stupid. It implies the inverse too, that sexually undesirable people are morally corrupt, which is actually a pretty huge problem in society. It also implies that men need validation from women which is just false.

            • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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              3 days ago

              Well, I think we can agree on one thing. I guess I don’t really get what you’re saying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

              • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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                3 days ago

                I mean, I’ve been pretty clear… and nobody else is having trouble understanding what I’m trying to say. is it possible that on some level you kind of like, don’t want to understand?

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Agreed… but hear me out. Men usualy are more sex driven and usually (not every man of course but the majority let’s say) will have sex with a random woman. Women on the other hand usually (AS IN NOT EVERY WOMAN) (I’m saying that so crazy people don’t come after me with the “I’m not like that”) need more conection. Women will go home and not have sex if no man was interesting enough to her and she won’t feel bad, man will go home with the woman he thinks it’s the ugliest (again USUALLY) if she is the only one that’s up to it, because for men going home alone is defeat. If you rationalize that looks is not everything for women than a man that is rejected by every woman has a lame personality while woman that are rejected by men are usually based on looks.

      So yes, in this (not general but commom) scenario a man that is unfuckable is an asshole and a woman may be an asshole or may just be fat

      edit: is late and I don’t have my glasses so sorry for some dumb english

      • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        I don’t really think things are actually the way you suppose they are. I think that’s a cultural model that’s been built up by media. It may have been true at one point but from what I can tell based on my experiences in real life, it seems to be more the inverse nowadays. All my male friends seem to be much more choosy with who they sleep with (preferring a real connection) while my female friends seem to be a lot more outgoing and likely to have sex without a connection. I’m talking about a sample size of about 20 people I’ve hung out with in the past year, but I’m also considering people I knew when I was highschool / college age.

        • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          really?! that must be cultural. I’m not american but from my experience also from male and female friends since…ever lol… men tend not to care. I’ve seen a friend hit on and take home a homeless toothless smelly woman I would say at least 10 years older than him. And his answer to me was “if you are too picky you starve”

          • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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            2 days ago

            GenZ is overwhelmingly sex negative. I think that the movement for sexual liberation of women works to bring GenZ women back to baseline (or above) while GenZ men remain very sexually repressed. Just a theory, but it seems true in my life. I live in an American city fwiw

      • seeigel@feddit.org
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        2 days ago

        Agreed… but hear me out. Men usualy are more sex driven a

        The phrase ‘the weaker sex’ isn’t about the strength of the body.

    • ulterno@programming.dev
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      2 days ago

      If I feel the need to use the word “female” in that way, I am not looking for approval. I am only looking to evade “girl”/“woman”/“lady” traps [1] and trying to be as less social and as robotic as possible.


      1. “trap” as in snare trap/ bear trap etc. not the other trap. Now this was another trap. You see what I am talking about? ↩︎