Republicans are drunk with power. What a stupid fucking idea. There’s no chance of banning porn. Then they wouldn’t be able to jerk to Trans women and feel shame after.
Trans women are hot, in case that reads as though the shame is correct. It’s not.
You know what’s crazy? The part about feeling shame. There’s been some recent studies about a lot of previously diagnosed sex/porn disorders and addictions being tied to shame due to misinformed religious conservative upbringing. If anything, we need to be talking about and teaching more about sex. Not learning about it correctly leads to hangups and shame about the human body, love, and self love that makes you nearly incapable of showing or expressing yourself correctly. That’s why all these conservatives are so fucking weird.
I’ve always thought it interesting that people say that porn leads to people being incapable of relationships.
It’s like, no, obviously plenty of people who watch porn are capable of being in relationships.
The reality is that people who ALREADY have trouble with relationships use porn a lot.
Similarly, drugs don’t tend to be step one in a person’s life being messed up. The drugs are usually the coping mechanism, not the cause.
And yet, they ban all drugs, rather than putting time and effort to making people’s lives better.
You want to reduce porn usage? Have mandatory comprehensive social interaction classes for EVERYONE, including dating, including concepts like consent and flirting and asking people out. It should be a class that EVERY student has, and it should be EVERY year. So no one gets left behind.
You want to reduce drug usage? Have those mandatory social interaction classes AND have classes to cover things that people typically struggle with in life. Connect psychologists, financial organizations, and other professions with educators so that people in those professions can anonymously give data about the issues that people struggle with in life, and work to make sure that classes to deal with those aspects of life happen BEFORE the times when those issues normally tend to pop up in people’s lives. Coping classes need to be mandatory.
Drug use will fall through the floor if people are taught coping strategies before they need them in as many areas of life as possible.
Totally. We really just have a lot of mental health problems in this country tied to not seeing therapy as a real tool to aid in building better foundations that lead to better outcomes by being able to build those emotionally intelligent muscles that might get miswired otherwise. Everyone has baggage and no one is perfect, but when we build a world and society that looks down on people with trauma, abuse, or bad/unlucky experiences rather than raising them up we just end up with a sicker and sicker society. We should never be putting people down or outright banning things. Rather, we should be looking at society, its systems, its flaws, and its good points and be trying to better understand it and integrating as much of the human experience into it as we can. Everything can be bad for you if you do enough of it, but it is about finding real restraint through better understanding rather than shaming it all away. At least, that is how I see the world, or at least a better one than the mess we seem to be caught up in now.
I feel there’s some parallels here with fat shaming. (and addiction shaming in general) People exposed to judgemental attitudes about their weight are measurably more likely to become obese, no matter their initial weight. Shaming can make one more fixated on their desire for food, and when that desire is in the front of one’s mind, it raises the psychological effort required to resist the urge for comfort in food. That effort is not infinite and will eventually run out, which is why white-knuckling through a diet tends to not lead to permanent results.
Misinformed sex education teaches us to feel shame for sexual urges most everyone has, and in a similar capacity could make one more fixated on that urge. If one instead has a positive view toward their sexuality, they do not have to cope with insecurities that remind them of temptation toward something they’re not supposed to do but would be immensely pleasurable. They just do it from time to time and it doesn’t bleed into the rest of their life.
idk a bit personal but, I find accepting all parts of my sexuality (especially the parts that make me feel icky) has made me much less prone to risky behavior. shame makes it difficult to make good decisions. I’m a lot more clearheaded now and can just enjoy physical affection with someone I love. I can communicate what I’d enjoy and set appropriate boundaries. fantasy and reality are more well separated now. importantly, I am more satisfied at a baseline and therefore seeking out sex less on the whole.
Body and sex positivity works extremely well as a means of coping with primal urges, not only because it makes us feel better about parts of us that will never go away, but also because accepting them actually leads to better self-control and decisionmaking.
No doubt. I think especially in childhood and early adult hood there are a lot of things that get muddled and tied up in shame where coping mechanisms and real self reflection needs to be ingrained earlier. There’s so many little hurdles to overcome in life but having a good foundation probably makes it overall easier.
Fat shaming makes people feel hopeless and actually encourages depression which causes overeating.
People who fat shame KNOW they are causing people to be fat. They’re not fat shaming out of concern for others.
It is openly to damage those other people’s lives, because the people doing the shaming are looking for a way to make themselves feel good, and fat shaming gives them a positive feeling.
This has been understood for a long time. But I appreciate that you’re bringing awareness to people who haven’t yet heard. Cheers.
Indeed. This was the article that started me down the rabbit hole. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too All very interesting stuff and there are a lot of peer reviewed papers on the subject as well.
The lowest my self esteem had ever been was when I was religious. I’d avoid porn and masturbation for months on end, 6-8 etc, but eventually I’d get a little too turned on and “succumb” to it. I remember hearing peers discuss it as something disgusting, and I considered myself too impure to consider having a relationship.
I won’t say my self esteem is amazing now, but I feel much better about myself, and don’t think of myself as some terrible sinner who doesn’t deserve happiness.
Thank you for sharing that. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better. Just remember that no one is perfect. The older I get the more I reflect back to times or abuses that may have hindered my emotional intelligence. Getting to the root of my own self loathing or anger has made me realize I don’t need to continue feeling that pain of the past and bringing it to the present. It’s a struggle but I try and just be honest with myself and remember that I am the one that needs to know myself better, learn to rewire that past trauma, and move on with better senses and awareness through my experiences. Let the present mold your future and keep fighting the good fight.
They are also scared to touch their own buttholes to clean them properly. If you talk to any of them, they are against using bidets.
If you’re not willing to touch your own butthole, you shouldn’t be having sex. It works for both generally and in the moment.
You guys touch your buttholes? You don’t scrub them with a loofa until they bleed?..huh.