• Leet@lemmy.zip
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    10 hours ago

    Dutch language could be what English went thru to become what it is today. Maybe in a thousand years it would converge

  • kersploosh@sh.itjust.works
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    11 hours ago

    Dutch is not a language. The people who “speak” it are Germans who suffered severe head injuries. The place we call “the Netherlands” is a German hospital colony where those unfortunate people can live while they recover. That’s why it’s flat and everyone walks or rides bicycles; their head injuries make them unfit to drive cars or to manage difficult terrain.

    /s, please don’t send the actual Dutch after me.

    • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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      9 hours ago

      I am Belgian and live close to the border, I know plenty of them.
      Whatever they are they are not german.
      They have a soul, sometimes smile and have humor.
      And definite proof is that when one comes into the same room as you the temperature doesn’t drop significantly, also there is no detectable smell of sulfer.
      Definitely not german.

    • jackr@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      18 hours ago

      Het is te laat, je hebt de Nederlanders opgeroepen, makker. Bereid je voor op k o l o n i s a t i e.

      spoiler

      It is too late, you summoned the Dutch, mate. Prepare to be c o l o n i s e d.

      • sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        Do you implement your healthcare system in your colonies? Also how likely are the colonizers to marry the locals and produce tall offspring?

        Asking for a friend.

        • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
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          17 hours ago

          First question: no, best we can do is force you to build dykes.

          Second question: we wouldn’t actually visit you, we would hire your neighbors to subdue you.

          • grue@lemmy.world
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            16 hours ago

            First question: no, best we can do is force you to build dykes.

            *dikes

            Then again, this being Lemmy maybe you meant it as written!

            • grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org
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              15 hours ago

              Both spellings can mean wall for holding back water, and things spelled with a “y” are 20% cooler.

    • BakerBagel@midwest.social
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      17 hours ago

      The Dutch are simply swamp Germans, best left to their own ways. Much like the mountain Germans you find between Bavaria and Italy.

    • Stovetop@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      New theory: the reason the Hogeweyk concept was effectively implemented in The Netherlands is because the entire country is that concept.

  • anticurrent@sh.itjust.works
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    10 hours ago

    It’s like the dutch sent someone to England to learn from their literary Shakespearean prowess, but the guy forgot half of what he has learnt on his way back to Holland.

  • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
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    17 hours ago

    this is obviously a joke but it contains more dutch than people unfamiliar with the language might guess.

    here is google’s translation of a verbatim transcription of the image:

    oopsie woopsie! the train is a piece of shit!

    we are working really hard to make this maybe you can fwietsen better owo

    Here are a few other variations with even better translations

    Maybe a Dutch speaker will comment here and tell us how many of the words in the image are actual Dutch words? I suspect google is probably providing plausible translations for some that aren’t really.

    • NisaFawo@lemmynsfw.com
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      16 hours ago

      Flemish person here, lemmy do an attempt to translate preserving the infantile language:

      Oopsy woopsy! the train is broky woky! We aww wowking vewwy hawd to fwix it. Mby you should bike instead owo

    • myster0n@feddit.nl
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      17 hours ago

      It’s more like : oopsie woopsie! The train has broken down. We’re trying very hard to fix it. Maybe you’d better take a bike (or “bwike”)

    • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      It’s not correct Dutch, but the best translation is: whoopsy whoops! The train is broken! We are working very hard to fix this. Maybe you would be better of biking. owo

      • stebo@sopuli.xyz
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        13 hours ago

        to add back the owo stuff:

        Oopsie whoopsie, the train is brokie wokie! We are working vuhry hard to fix this. Maybe you would be better of bwiking. owo.

    • pulsewidth@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      The English translation of ‘stukkie wukkie’ would surely be the train is ‘stuck’?

      I’m not a Dane though so could be wrong.

      • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
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        17 hours ago

        The English translation of ‘stukkie wukkie’ would surely be the train is ‘stuck’?

        Google translates “stukkie wukkie” as “piece of shit” or “wonky”, depending on other nearby words, and “stukkie” as “broken”. but neither of these words is in a dutch dictionary afaict. And google doesn’t translate anything i tried to those words.

        I’m not a Dane though so could be wrong.

        Dutch is the language (and demonym) of the Netherlands.

        Dane is the demonym for people from Denmark, where they speak the Danish language.

        • kernelle@0d.gs
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          12 hours ago

          If you’re still interested, ‘Stukkie’ comes from ‘stuk’ which means broken. The -kie that is added is to infantilize the word, usually to refer to a smaller object you’d use -je instead, -kie is more of a dialect which is why you won’t find it in a dictionary. ‘Wukkie’ means as much as the ‘woopsie’ in ‘oopsie woopsie’, to make it sound even more infantile.

          So a literal translation would be ‘The train is brokey wokey’

        • pulsewidth@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          Oops. Replying on mobile is annoying sometimes because you can only see the comment you’re directly replying to, and not the OOP (at least in the app I’m using). So I had to hold ‘Dutch’ in my brain and by the time I’d finished my reply, I’d misremembered Dutch to Danish - hence Dane. Apologies.

    • Mîm@lemmy.zip
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      15 hours ago

      Because Dutch is the blackout drunk bastard child of German and English. So knowing either or both of those languages helps a lot.

      • RagingHungryPanda@piefed.social
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        10 hours ago

        I actually described how dutch sounded to me to some dutch friends. I said something like, “Dutch sounds like if a German got drunk, tried learning English, and then started choking.”

        They told me that wasn’t far off 😂