My elementary school teacher told us once that Americans only poop once a week. The climate is colder in North America, so their intestines pack the poop together very densely such that they only need to poop once a week. She said you’d be sent to the doctor if you poop daily in America.
Is this true?
Here in hot Australia, there are so many toilets to help with the diarrhea every summer…
I just flip upside down in my ground harness and let the poops fall out into space.
USAians eat burgers, fries, and high-fructose corn syrup. They sit on the toilet trying to excrete their non-fluid bodily waste on average for 8-9 minutes due to a horrendous lack of fiber. More than 72% are overweight and 47% are obese.
If I had to guess, once a week sounds about right for the average Magastanian. Not sure about the rest.
Anything from 3 times a day to once each 3 days should be considered normal/healthy unless there a reasons to expect other intervals.
You’re mixing up Americans with sloths, but I guess we’re not that different
once every 3 days to 3 times a day is considered normal. when i was on my first weight loss journey, i was eating properly within calories and exercising every day… i would go every second day or third day and it wasnt much. the more processed, bready and sugary foods will have you on the bog daily. cut out the bread, and your screen time will drop!
That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m veggie, if I don’t poop every day there’s a fucking problem.
I just accepted it as a simple fact didnt think about it anymore lol
I wonder why she told us that.
Maybe she was saying we’re near-constantly full of shit. And that’s a big collective touché, honestly
One of the delights of being a schoolteacher I guess. Just make stuff up and watch em go.
Once during a high school history lesson on a quite debate-inducing topic my teacher just shut me down with “I’m a PhD in history”.
For ~15 years I thought my history teacher was PhD until quite recently discovering it was a lie. 🗿
That’s a horrible abuse of power…
I eat enough fiber if I don’t go multiple times a day I could literally explode
No.
Not so fast. Yes.
Relevant username
I’m here to question whether you have the authority to make a comment like that
😂👏❤️
American here. I poop every day, some times 2x a day.
Damn, really living it up.
Yeah, all the veggies, chick peas, and lentils really help. Now that I can’t afford meat, pooping is a breeze.
I live in North America. It’s about daily for me. Doctor doesn’t care.
You can’t make him care, all you can do is keep notifying him when it happens.
Ironically that’s what twitter was once for lol
I’m guessing this notion came about from the Baptist and evangelical folks, who indeed try to reduce the frequency of bodily functions, as they see those as sin. As a result, Lutherans and the like indeed only do number twos every couple of weeks. But the rest of Americans (the silent minority), who live on a diet of fiber free fast food, sodas and watery beer, open the diarrhea valve at least twice a day. Only in America!
as they see those as sin.
Youre joking…
It’s BS. The Simpsons already made that joke anyway.
Religion is such a disease, good grief.
That’s not true about mainstream Lutherans…
They’re really nothing like Baptists or evangelicals (which have plenty of overlap being Pentecostal.)
Lutherans still typically serve wine for communion. It’s basically Catholicism lite… Methodists are also mainstream protestants. None of these are Evangelical or Pentecostal or charismatic (no faith healings, no speaking in tongues, no magic underwear, and they do more than missionary work in places that don’t want their missionaries…)
Like my brother’s church, Assembly of God. They’re Evangelical, pentecostal, and charismatic. Most of their offerings go to missions. And they have bios and a world map with colored pins associated with the missionary bios. So many of them are in places that don’t want Christian missionaries… So what do they do? Build a fucking church in a Muslim country where Christianity is banned. So the church got burned down and missionaries were taken hostage… What do they want to do? Pay the ransom and rebuild the church… And brag about sending millions of dollars overseas for this dumb shit. Like… How about invest in the local community?! These places of worship are pathetically parasitic. Now remember, it’s dumb fucks like these (Evangelical Pentecostals, who mainly focus on global mission work) that are the largest majority of Trump’s base. This tracks, sadly. Mission work is an excellent way to traffick people and move/launder dark money, unregulated and tax free!
What has this to do with fecal matter? Stay on topic, dude.
All this (wonderful) shit-talking and no-one has mentioned painkillers. Earlier this year I spent a couple of weeks in hospital along with a lot of other oldies with fall injuries. We were all taking oxycodone and paracetamol for the pain, and the nurses were obsessed with our bowel movements. We were given laxatives twice a day to hurry things along, and threatened with an enema if we went too long without pooing. After the laxatives worked their magic on me I started refusing to take them, because it took me so long to get across the ward to the toilet I was scared I’d shit myself halfway.
So yes, painkillers are costive.
Cleaning you is waaay easier than disimpaction. If it’s bad enough I have to call someone who doesn’t work holidays, weekends, or any other hour a bank isn’t open. If it’s NOT bad enough to call that person, that’s actually way worse because it’s gonna be you, me, and these phalanges, and neither of us is gonna be having a good time. Now that I work in a tiny community hospital I don’t even have residents I can sucker into it anymore!
“Shhh shhhh shhhhh… you’ll feel better soon, I promise”. And they do! (Then my shift ends, and I think about my life choices)
I was never taught disimpaction in school… but when you know it’s gotta happen, it just is what it is
I had to take oxy’s after hand surgery, and I am not accustomed to painkillers. I ended up constipated, and it was (BY FAR) the worst poop of my life. Like, that (literal) shit hurt worse than the pain of surgery
I’m talking 45+ mins on the toilet; pushing, sweating, almost crying, standing up and down trying to get things to move. I became a little fearful and wondered if I was about to tear my rectum. I felt like I wanted to faint. I couldn’t just stop because it was half-way out, making my bum feel like I was getting spread-open by a dragon or something… and it wouldn’t pinch off. I admittedly dug in my butt, trying to pull it out… I was in fucking shambles and beginning to panic. It felt like I was fighting for my life
It finally cleared, and I was left with pure exhaustion and butt pain. Prune juice helped me to reconcile that issue, and even though I had never tried prune juice — I’m a “forever fan” of that sweet sweet elixir of preemptive relief
I’ll never forget that poop
Thank you for sharing! I realise now what the nurses wanted to spare us…
FWIW between once every three days up to three times a day is considered medically normal. If you’re consistently outside of this without obvious reason you should look into your digestive health.
American here. I don’t shit. My digestive system is perfect and produces no waste.
I’m an American who poops once a week. I’ll go ahead and speak for all Americans here that this is undoubtedly true.
I can confirm that this individual can speak on my behalf for all things defication.
American here. I’ve always heard that you should see a doctor (or at least try upping your fiber intake) if you don’t poop at least once a day on average.
As mentioned in other comments, the United States’ climate ranges from tropical to arctic depending on location, so your teacher’s explanation is nonsensical. Either your teacher was an idiot, a jokester, or you misinterpreted/misremembered what she said.
