My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
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Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
My kiddo loved that around her age.
lmao
I don’t get it
Nuts often are salted. A salted, assaulted.
That does not sound very age appropriate
What’s inappropriate about a salted nut?
It’s offensive to people with hypernatremia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypernatremia
Hypernatremia is a high concentration of sodium in the blood for people who nut often.
Symptoms include weak knees, sore arms, and a salty taste in the mouth.
whats long, brown, and sticky? a stick.
what’s long, blue, and sticky? a blue stick.
ive found kids live this due to the misdirection and then doubling down on it.
What’s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
Wanna hear my favorite knock knock joke? Great!
You start…
Knock knock
Who’s there?
The Spanish Inquisition!
Oh! Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you.
Where does the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
shouldn’t that be a fly with no wings ?
Love the deer ones lol
Yes!! I said it wrong _’
Do they not sell kids joke books in the check out line at the grocery store anymore? Used to be tons of those.
There’s no room at the ubiquitous self checkouts, and smartphones have made printed media more novelty than EDC.
Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stickI would suggest a book of jokes specifically for kids. Like this one.
It’s free on Kindle Unlimited. You don’t even have to let your daughter know that you’re getting them from a book.
Be careful you’re not getting something written by AI that is not just terrible, but completely inappropriate. A human author could also do that, but…
Assuming Kindle Unlimited is a paid service, the book isn’t free.
everything is free if you know where to look for it 🏴☠️
OMG! You’re technically correct but added nothing to the conversation! Congratulations!
It helped me out
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Cause his mommy got stuck in a jam.
Yes, let’s get the kid started with dark humor.
It was either that or a washing machine.
Why shouldn’t you go the forest at noon?
That’s when the ripe elephants fall from the trees.Why does the alligator have such a flat nose?
Because he went to the forest at noon.Bonus points if you space them out a bit with unrelated jokes.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
Guess what? Chicken butt.
I have some sense of self preservation. She’s bad enough right now calling everyone a banana!
Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
I pull out a sketch book, say I will do a portrait and put my thump up for reference then hand them a high detail illustration of my own thumb. Lot of effort.
