/s
But like real question: Why do people ask these type of questions?
I’m not really sure how it works but I was told I gobbled up my brother as an embryo in the womb. He was yummy.
I recently murdered a bowl of mac and cheese. It was premeditated.
They could have had a family!
I raised this Mac and cheese from a box. I fed it milk. I kept it warm on the stovetop. And I’d do it again. Probably Saturday as I’m watching some sports matches.
Savage
Based on the noises she was making, yo’ mama last night.
It’s easier and generally more acceptable to ask here than in the grocery store.
In a grocery store, you don’t have to ask, people just tell you.
At Ralph’s you can only use the express line if you haven’t murdered anyone that day.
Because it’s for busy people on their way to their murder plans I suppose
“These egg prices are going to make me wait in the long line today…”
Damn, guess I’ll have to take these shovels through normal checkout, hopefully bodies in my car doesn’t start rotting before I get a chance to bury them.
Nice try, fed
Back when I was 10 there were some druggies living next to me. I was good friends with their kids. One day when they left their kids there unattended we got into the garage. Long story short, the house burned down. The kids survived, but the parents were never seen after that. Pretty sure they werent home but the timing for their dossapearance was odd.
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I think I’ve genocided a bunch of bacteria.
If bacteria could talk, they’d call me hitler.
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I murdered a housefly today that has been taunting me for three days. Like with my bare hands. It’s the best thing I’ve done all week. I’m taking the rest of the week off.
I’ve murdered my soul working at an office
Damn, I got bad grades once and my mom literally murdered me.
Ouch, still hurts this day.
I would tell you but then I would have to kill you.
My wife, after being dutch-ovened under the blankets.
Yeah.
I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
Damn, I shot a bunch of men on a battlefield once, even use gas grenades in the trenches. I love war crimes.
People keep calling me a “noob” because I keep dying.
But its fine, I just call the people with different uniforms “Aimbot Cheaters”
Sue, is that you?
People like to ask edgy questions to get imaginary points or to feel important by getting hidden information, people are goofy.
Why are people religious? In part because it’s human nature to want to know things that other people don’t know. Fake hidden knowledge is a sweet treat to a truth starved brain
Religion is seriously fucked up, actually.
If you can get people to believe in magic they have never seen because of stories that never happened to explain an afterlife that nobody knows about, you can easily get them to also fork over a considerable amount of their income to avoid a fate that will never happen.
Nevermind that you can also produce some fearless soldiers who will gladly hand over their life for no real reason.
Eesh. Humans are weird.
In many jurisdictions there is a big difference between murdering and killing. Murder it’s almost always a giant no-no. The killing angle would more likely get you some stories. There’s a tumblr (?) thread about women offing their husbands etc for some pretty reasonable reasons - although, honestly, a lot of those were probably murder; now that I think of it.
“You been screwin’ the milkman?” He shouted, “You been screwin’ the milkman?!”
And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.
Yeah, that’s right up there with the classic “face-to-fist” fighting technique. Sadly, the thread in question was a bit more “…he did it to me for years but the first time he did it to our daughter I snapped.” Kinda grim - but real.
There was someone I know who died of covid, and there is reason to believe I was the one who gave it to them. I remember frantically rereading scripture after that for an assessment to get an idea of the weight of that. I don’t like the thought.
