The gift needs to be able to come off as a genuine gift so there’s some plausible deniability…
Give them a gift card, but you’ve spent more than half of it.
Or give them a gift card to a store that either does not exist in their area or a store that they wouldn’t want to shop in.
Blockbuster gift card.
I think something that goes against their personality. Someone who hates the spotlight give an improv class, someone who’s afraid of heights a rock climbing class, for picky eaters a food tasting, I hate listening to instructions so I hate yoga so if you got me a yoga class. Even better if you go with them so they can’t back out. It’s easy to say I wanted to get you out of your shell and thought you would like it if you tried it.
The best way is the one where you know lots of (not so well-known) context and circumstances, and then it can work as an insult, but you can deny some of the knowledge and therefore you can appear innocent.
That really depends on the person and what they perceive as an insult.
One trick I heard is to get them a gift card towards a Las Vegas vacation. If they go to Vegas they are way more likely to lose money than win at the tables.
That doesn’t sound insulting, it just sounds like you’re giving them negative money.
Birthdays: birthday cake flavored vodka (implies they are a drunk)
And peppermint schnapps for Christmas
Get them soap and instructions about maintaining proper hygiene.
a stick of deodorant wrapped in a bow, would say it all silently
Decades ago, my mother worked with a small group of women. Every day they spent a few hours together in the office before going out. There was one lady with lacking personal hygiene, quite whiffy and rather oblivious about that. It was about that time the stick deodorants became available in our post soviet country, I believe the Speedstick was the first brand to take the market. So for Christmas for secret santa they got her the deodorant. It was a passive aggressive move, the things could have gone really wrong. She was happy with the gift but the things didn’t improve much. The following year they got her another stick deodorant, hoping to get the message through. She unwrapped the gift and excitedly thanked them, saying that the previous one was almost finished. Bless her, she only used it as a perfume on special occasions…
A gift card for a shop that sells cringe stuff only
The cheap brand of something they know is crap. Say they are into water colour painting, get them the cheapest set you can find on Amazon, but not so cheap that it looks like a kids gift.
A large bottle of cologne. Plausible gift that makes them think they smell bad.
Most folks have at least 1 commonplace food item that they can’t stand. This time of year food gift baskets are everywhere and often specialized to certain tastes. So you get them something that looks like a nice goodie basket but then most things in it are tainted by a thing they don’t like.
For me it would be licorice / anise.
Assorted chocolates - all containing nuts.
The taint is right next to the anise.
LOL
I haven’t tried anise but licorice is really good. Especially salted licorice!
Yes, I am Scandinavian.
I liked the Canadian government giving Trump a framed photo of a former family business established in the Yukon: a bordello!
A gym membership. Implies overweight.
Makeover service. Implies not looking so good.
If you know a right-wing prepper, get them a subscription to Mother Earth News, a magazine that touts self-sufficiency and off-grid living with occasional ads that lean to conspiracy theories like “free energy”. It’s full of food saving and growing ideas. It’s also liberal AF.
Charitable donation in their name to an organization they likely oppose, but not “in your face”. Like if they’re republican, don’t donate to a blatantly liberal org, donate to one that teaches kids critical thinking skills and welcomes lgbtq or something like that. They get the tax writeoff, a real benefit, but would have to be visibly hateful of they rejected where the money went.
Gift tickets to a nice cultural event to someone that is anti-lgbtq. Local city playhouse has an Opera with lots of men in tights.
Any subscription or service that makes potential commentary on personal appearance or personal beliefs would be effective.
I know an arborist (he cuts down trees) and as a joke, each year I get him a charity donation certificate for trees planted in his name.
That’s a pretty funny joke.
Donate to the human fund.
Money, for people.
Are you doing the importing or exporting? (Amazing username)
You could get them a bag of dicks
