Control of your attention. Because it is the axis of reality.
Critical thinking
World Domination
/s
Try living off grid, without power, phone, internet. Heat with a wood stove, carry your water. Then reflect on your standards for life.
I can already do that, I’m an autistic bastard that can make up languages for 14 hours a day and still have fun
Meditation. It helps with self-control, emotional regulation, stress, and builds discipline. Screen addiction is real, and meditation helps.
Every time I’ve tried, I just end up sitting there.
Experiment with different techniques. There’s a method there that you can get a handle on.
What are the options?
We have 2 techniques. The Buddhists call them samatha and vipassana. They go by other names, in other traditions, too.
We start with samatha, because it’s easy. Just takes diligent effort.
In samatha you hold your attention upon a thing (called your “object”) as perfectly as you can for a time.
You can use pretty much anything as your object. But some work better than others and some work differently for different people.
So experimentation is called for there.
Popular objects are mantras (a repeated word), visualizations, sights (like a candle flame), sounds (the wind in the trees), the feeling of breath in the tip of your nose. Lots of room for experimentation there. I like that last one especially.
Here’s a nice overview : http://fleen.org/fluffy_cloud (he calls the techniques “shrink” and “grow”). A couple nice books on the subject are “Journey of Awakening” by Ram Dass and “Meditation, the First and Last Freedom”, by Osho.
Ultimately you will need to do your own research, perform your own experiments and become your own expert.Is there a variation for people who have aphantasia (assuming it’s talking about visualization)?
In that first technique you hold your attention on a thing as perfectly as you can for a time.
That thing can be a visualization or it can be any of a hundred other things.
My favorite is the feeling of breath in the tip of my nose. It’s a popular one. No visualization required there.
That’s kind of what it is. Just try to think of nothing. I just think about the air going into and out of my lungs.
Cleaning up (organizing) your living space
How has it been a day and no one mentioned musical instruments? Harmonising body and mind to achieve immaterial bliss.
I practiced for decades and it only frustrated me
Understanding nuance and then applying said understanding in communication with others.
I can’t begin to mention how often people need to know something but won’t accept how non-yes-or-no the answer might be.
Exactly. I always say that nearly everything that exists in life does so within the grey area between black and white.
not anymore it seems.
First Aid, since you never know when this might be helpful on either yourself or others!
On that not im surprise we haven’t seen CPR or the hiemlic.
I had classes on CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver at school as part of the First Aid classes we had, though I’m not sure how commonplace such classes are in other schools/locations.
If you are in the US… Learn how to drive already. The vast majority of adults are going to drive every day, and most of those are going to drive at least twice a day. The degree of competency in driving seems to fall to a new low every year.
Signals - Use them. If you don’t have time to check, signal, check, maneuver, then you don’t have time to make that turn/lane change. If you don’t signal, you’re not driving, you’re just fucking around in a 2 ton death machine.
Distracted driving - it’s a myth. You’re either driving, or you are fucking around in a 2 ton death machine.
Turning from wrong lane/driving across onramp shoulder - know where where the fuck you are, and if you make a wrong turn, don’t endanger your life, your passengers lives, and every else’s on the road. A good driver rarely misses their turn, a bad driver never misses their turn. If you are cutting people off to make your ramp or turn, you’re not driving, you’re fucking around in a 2 ton death machine.
Frankly, I’m of the opinion that speeding should not be a primary offense. If the road is clear and some dude checking his lanes, using signals and paying attention to the road wants to drive 110 on the freeway, let him. They’ve never almost killed me, but idiots in cars fucking around on the road like they are the only people on the road nearly cause me an accident almost every day I drive now. I rarely get through the day without using my horn to wake up some jackass about to kill someone, and those people should get pulled over, fined, and have their behavior corrected.
I would add proper lane usage and following distance. If you’re on a multi-lane road you should be passing the people on your right. If you’re not, get over to the right lane. Leave enough space in front of you to stop in case of an emergency, this also helps with congestion as the space allows you to keep rolling at a slower speed rather than having to stop and go which propagates to everyone behind you (unless they leave enough space to not have to stop) and causes a bigger delay.
I should, but I had to stop somewhere, rather than just post a cranky version of the DMV driver education manual, So I arbitrarily stopped where I did. Feel free to chime in and gripe about idiots almost killing us daily though.
Sorry if my reply came off as argumentative. I thought your post was very good.
No, no, you’re fine. I just stopped where I stopped. You’re spot on that bunching up in lanes causes jams.
I try to drive with the mentality that lanes should be “permeable”, cars should have sufficient space to make easy moves between lanes. When you get a solid line of cars, people start driving the same way deer try to cross a highway.
You must know when to hold them, and when to fold them.
I am certain this pertains to every aspect of life, but am still figuring out exactly what to hold or fold, and when.
Haha my laundry room door says this.
Know when to walk away. Know when to run.
Emotional stability.
Everyone has wildly varying emotions
Emotional regulation is the ability to steer the sheep during a storm.
sheep
thanks for the catch, i fixed it
Funny enough, this is what one would call the Going Merry.
Don’t get it? Look up the Straw Hat Pirates’ first ship.
This superpower still eludes me most of the time but I keep practising.
Me in my head: masterful dialog which turns heads and begins paradigms
Me in conversation: i want ed ,to , w batch of yDid
Me in same conversation: that’s what she said
awkward silence
Cooking.
Following a recipe is a good start, and at least allows you to feed yourself beyond microwaved bullshit or going out to a restaurant. Knowing the science behind it, however, can open up new avenues to making dishes you love even if you can’t get all of the usual ingredients because you will know what you can use instead without compromising the taste or texture.
Beat me to it! I was going to say at least a couple basic meals that you really enjoy. It can be fancy, or it can be some dorm quality things that fill you with nostalgia, as long as prepping it and eating it makes you happy.
We need to eat, and we need to feel satisfaction from something we have done ourselves, so do both at once.
It’s probably cliche but if you’re into youtube tutorials Basics with Babish is a great place to start. He teaches simple dishes that taste great and teach different skills. Another way to learn is to do one of the all in one delivery meal like hello fresh. It’s expensive but still affordable and it’s really good practice. If you dont want to spend on it you can also just get the recipes online. Also, if you find a dish a you really like you can make it whenever.
Isnt Hello Fresh just following the recipe without doing grocery shopping?
What does it do better than me finding recipes online?The recipes are really well done especially for a learner. This is one of the ways I taught my teens to cook.
Even the food pre-packaging can be a good thing beyond the convenience . While you could do the shopping yourself, sometimes people aren’t comfortable with that when you need small amounts for recipes.
Totally fair. The few recipes I saw from YT were quite neat.
There’s also the tragedy of choice. It may seem counterintuitive, but it can be easier to choose among a small set of curated recipes than the infinite variety online.
I generally go with something I find online, something I’m familiar with, or something I make up, but that can be difficult for some people until they gain experience. Even then I am tempted to bring back Hello Fresh for myself - it takes all the guesswork out, is very convenient, and is always a success
Totally. Decision paralysis is a dealbreaker.
Upsite: You don’t have to remember going for groceries as it’s all already cared for and the possibility for trying something actually new is higher.
It gives you exact amounts of the right ingredients which alleviates a pain when grocery shopping.
Once you have enough recipes under your belt that you can figure out ways to use your leftover raw ingredients, it’s no longer worthwhile.
baiting…
At which point do you decide you’ve become a master and no longer a Padawan?
Serious question. What’s with those fucking bait shops in the seedy parts of town. What the fuck is going on in there. Do they sell like baits that will catch magical fish but you have to like make a deal with the devil?
I dunno, I usually go to the
candy shopmarijuana gummy dispensary shop for my bait…Worms pretty much grow themselves. It’s cheap money
Polite conversation
Knowing when silence is damaging
Knowing when to shut up
Knowing when to leave a conversation, a room, a party, a relationship, etc.
I was going to make my own comment but this hits the nail on the head. Civil discussion. They or you may be wrong but make your point and let them make theirs and may the strongest prevail.
Assert your point but don’t be mean.
I always feel like if you’re spending time with someone new, it’s OK to have stints of silence. It’s one thing to get along with someone by having easy conversation. At the same time it’s nice to know that you don’t always have to fill up every moment with dialog. To just exist in someone else’s presence is sometimes enough.
That’s something I struggle to internalize, even when I’m with my best friends. I dunno how to be comfortable with silence, with a lull in the hangout sesh, it just eats me up and makes me feel like a bad friend.
Yep. Right there with you. With my upbringing if someone was silent around you, they were seething at you for something you did. And you know what it was! (You probably don’t, actually. Good luck guessing.)
This makes things unnecessarily interesting when I have long car rides with my naturally-introverted wife and I start feeling like I’ve done something terribly wrong when she doesn’t have much to say.
If I notice it, I just say to myself, “silence is good, quiet is peaceful. If they’re comfortable I am comfortable.”
Good tip, thanks.
