So I’m European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there or if it is a trend that started recently in the past few years.
I don’t wanna generalize any country and know that not everyone is like this but I definitely noticed this type of pattern.
I increasingly noticed in the past years that many Americans are very hateful/cruel, are lacking empathy, become more and more aggressive and it seems like it’s becoming worse.
I’m not sure if this is maybe related to Americans needing to be “though” or something because I always hear about that the American mentality is pretty competitive and individualistic and instead of saying “we will go through this this together” they often have this mentality “it’s either me or you but it can’t be both who will win”. I mean I’m pretty sure that all these things like this biking culture, driving big “manly” pick up trucks, wrestling, football etc. are pretty prevalent in America compared to other countries and American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved and I guess the strongest opposite to Americans are probably Japanese people. Maybe American culture is generally more “rough” where they aren’t super sensitive and don’t really care how their words come over and just speak their mind (maybe cause they value free speech so much).
But to me this seems to go to the point where many Americans seem to have this attitude and are very ignorant and arrogant and basically think they’re better than anyone else and they only care for themselves.
And it feels like it’s so extreme to the point where everyone is hating, attacking and bashing on everyone and instead of being stronger united they’re just fighting against themselves and putting each other down and they always focus on the negative.
Especially online it seems like that no matter what the topic is and independent from whether they are Democrat or Republican they’re constantly bashing on someone and baselessly calling them “weak” even though in reality they’re probably the ones who are weak and trample onto people cause they’re obviously dissatisfied with themselves and aren’t able to man-up to face the real issues. You just can’t blame everything on others and have to take responsibility for yourself!
Some stuff that I’ve seen on American news like “Fox News” just seemed crazy where the reporters personally attack and bash on people which is something that would be unthinkable in Europe.
Even though many people were saying that Americans have this “fake friendliness” I’m thinking that even that disappeared in the last few years and they’re becoming more open to show what they really think which seems to be that they “don’t give a f* about you”.
Many Americans that I encountered seem so aggressive like they always need to bash onto something in this toxic way even though they’re actually in a very good position and have a lot to be grateful for. Like in other poor countries people have real problems and are literally starving because they have no food or they have war in their country.
I’m always thinking “dude, you need to chill” cause literally no one is attacking them and they’re fully secure. But it seems like they’re always searching for a fight or something.
It seems like many of these people are so disconnected from nature and become less human and I wonder why they can’t just spend meaningful time with other people being positive and not constantly waste their time with hating or complaining about something. Because this just doesn’t work and in a society with multiple people especially in a world where everything is more connected than ever we need to hold together and have empathy for one and another. That is one of the core morals that a human needs!
It seems like many Americans generally have this “cruelness” about them cause I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children and even the fact that guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can’t even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school and also this general mindset of America is doing everything the best and “America first”. I really don’t wanna bash on Americans at all and only want to share my experience because I just haven’t experienced this type of hate here in Europe in that extreme way and it just makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like this mood is affecting the whole world since American media and influence is prevalent everywhere.
To me it feels like this won’t end well and it feels like it’s just a matter of time until something very bad happens like the second civil war or so and the storm on the capitol might be nothing compared to that. But maybe that’s the only way they will finally learn if they’re lacking these core morals and integrity and they don’t get educated about that in school.
It also seems like they can’t handle critique and can’t admit it/stand to those things. When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it’s not the same here, cause that is literally just proving my point. There needs to be constructive discussions.
We’ve had a couple of reports about this post, but I’m going to let it slide for the moment because the discussion seems mostly respectful. Let’s keep it polite though please.
I suspect what you’re seeing is the increased frequency of vulgar American bigotry showing up in mass media, thanks to the unfiltered exposure of their behavior.
But I have to point out… this isn’t something new in the American psyche. Keep in mind that America has always been a deeply hateful and bigoted place. Go back to the years following 9/11 and look at how many mosques got burned. Consider that Congress banned French Fries in the cafeteria because the French PM wouldn’t toss in with our genocidal Iraq invasion.
Go back further than that, and you’ve got horrifying police violence aimed at African Americans, Latinos, and East Asians going back… centuries. All endorsed by a parochial upper class that funneled money to Apartheid South Africa, Nun-raping Contra Rebels in Nicaragua, and Fascist Mafiosos crawling all over the Mediterranean during the Years of Lead.
Our mass media has been overflowing with bigotry from modern day Steven Crowder all the way back to Father Coughlin’s antisemitic rants during the Great Depression.
America is a deeply rotten country full of awful people. And while we’re hardly alone in that regard, we export so much of that vileness abroad that its hard for outsiders to ignore.
As an American, I have despaired every day since the election about where we are headed. My hope is that, as in past times when we have lost our collective minds, we will find a way to self correct. Know that nearly half of all voters did NOT want this direction and many will be mounting a vigorous fight against fascism. Its going ti be ugly, though. I also despair for Europe who are about to see their fascists voices amplified to a very high volume.
I only read the first half of your post because it was kind of meandering, but most of what you’re seeing is just online. People have always been assholes online, ever since the early days of the internet. There are a lot of very intentional, very engineered agendas out there to drive people apart, and set them at each other’s throats. This is hyper effective on the internet. It doesn’t usually carry over into the real world. Most Americans I know, meet, or see in real life are still friendly, caring, and generous. Just go read about European impressions of Americans after returning from vacation to the USA and you’ll see that same sentiment echoed from people on your side of the pond. There are certainly people who have taken their online persona offline into their real world identities, but they’re the exception, not the rule.
TLDR: the internet is not the real world and you’ll see the worst of people online, combined with a fair bit of propaganda and astroturfing.
I think that you hit it pretty close to being in point. The Americans I know are same as you nice good people, but that entire country is based on “I got mine so screw you” and they honestly believe that the American dream is still achievable, but it isn’t, they think that they are closer to a millionaire or billionaire than their own neighbors. Trickle down economics was a lie and the fact that shareholders are the end all and be all of industry.
Who can you screw over to get ahead, most of the time it is the owners (investors) screwing over the workers.
They have poor education systems (some better than others for a price) so people are unable to think critically about what they’re being told, then allow business to essentially buy the government this is the result.
The entire system globally is busted. I have no idea how to get it back in shape where people are important to having a healthy society.
I’m rambling so I’ll stop (not even sure what I wrote makes sense). But a picture is worth 100 words (used to be a 1000 but inflation ☹️)
Exactly this. If you are starting to feel like the world, or a particular people, are excessively negative and hateful, you’re almost certainly spending too much time online.
America was built on a very fruitful land, the new comers had a lot of room to expand.
There weren’t any existing powers to stifle growth so it was “free” to grow as much as possible (this is what they mean by freedom).
The gold rush happened in California, then a lot (and I mean A LOT for its time) of oil production.
Then Europe had a couple of civil wars (I’m calling it that cause they fought themselves mostly) which gave US even more of an advantage.
The American experiment has had A LOT privileges because it was the new world. Those are ending but Americans believe they can keep the party going forever.
Europe had a similar boost during colonial times and that ended too, so chances are it will happen to US too.
Only two questions remain:
- Will it be as bloody as possible like WWII or more peaceful.
- Will Americans get their shit together after like Europe and form a strong union built on democracy.
The problem is confirmation bias. Americans are actually becoming more left-leaning and accepting. Younger generations are rejecting the hateful & destructive legacy of the US, and spreading this ideology to each other, which is exactly why the government is trying to ban TikTok. Just look at military recruitment numbers. Look at how well leftism and anti-imperialism performs in polling among people younger than boomers and Gen X.
But as communist theorists predicted would happen, as the population moves left the capitalists in power move further right and embrace fascism to entrench their power.
Leftism is spreading faster than fascism, but fascists do not threaten capital, so they’re not censored. Thus you see far higher representation of far-right fascism in the news and in positions of power, because that’s all they want you to see and the only people they allow into power. It tricks you into believing these ideals are gaining in popularity, when in reality it’s over representation of fascism by systems that don’t really oppose it.
For example, the majority of Americans support ending US funding of the genocide in Gaza. But if all you see is what’s allowed on the news and what the people in power support, you’d believe there’s overwhelming support in the US for the genocide. In reality, they’re increasing the police budgets to violently suppress criticism of the empire.
The real answer is they’ve been conditioned. They have so much excess, but rather than funnel that excess to those who need it, they all decide to hoard it and use it to gain as much more excess as possible.
They’re greedy. They’re entitled. They’re insecure. It’s a bad combination.
We’re scared of the future I guess. Feel free to ask if you are genuinely curious about Americans.
People think they have to beat other people at some imagined game to be happy, and forget the game was ever imagined in the first place. It’s a delusion.
Yeah I see that and it’s so sad cause we could actually be so happy if we would work together and be kind to each other.
Eyeballs on content equals money. Rage equals more eyeballs, thusly more money.
this, the “News” or, how people get information about their world, has been broken for 40 years or so
addictive, hate fueled, lie filled, drama news is the norm. murdoch must die
In my view, Social media is a big factor in creating echo chambers and disinformation.
To be fair, I think this is the official, mainstream view too.
The media everywhere knows that showing people who are on an extreme gets more views. So that is what you will see from outside. As for the people you have meet. The chill people don’t travel as much.
It’s not an American thing it’s a human thing.
The more time spent angry the more active and larger the amygdala gets.
So now when in a situation the amygdala is calling the shoots, and it’s either calling for blood or for you to run.
It’s how we evolved, if we’re surrounded by anger, fear, and confrontation we switch over to a mode that can handle that.
The current problem is fearmongering and billionaire ran media that keeps telling everyone to panic, so they do.
People get in this state from the media, interact with others and it spreads. Society as we know it is incredibly recent on an evolutionary scale, so it is often shocking how fast we can slide back to people who are thinking on a short timeline where 20 years is “forever ago”.
That’s not even getting into wealth inequality and how resource scarceness while young can fuck someone up for life.
I can corroborate, anecdotally, the behavioral side of this.
When I have conversations with notoriously angry people and can maintain my chill and treat them with dignity (despite whatever behavior they’re exhibiting), they usually chill out. The more of angry person they are takes more effort, but patience, calm, and respect diffuse things very effectively. The patience is really hard, but it has worked for me.
The problem, which is relevant to the physical changes you described, is that the effect is only temporary in isolation. I have found the repeating this over time with a person does cause their baseline anger level to reduce over time, but it’s a fuckton of work and difficult to scale due to the time commitment. It also doesn’t scale via media because this kind of behavior doesn’t draw attention. It’s an unfortunate bug in our psychology
Our standard of living is collapsing and we have no way out because all of our media is controlled by billionaires, all our politicians are controlled by billionaires, the economy is controlled by billionaires, our entertainment is controlled by billionaires. This is what the billionaires want, so it’s what the billionaires get. I’m probably about to lose my hrt and could soon find myself in financial ruin because Texas is trying to establish bounty laws that’d allow people to sue trans people and doctors who offer gender affirming care. Healthcare costs are out of control as well. It cost me $300 for a single appointment at planned parenthood to start hrt. My therapist, who I see weekly, costs over $200 a session. Insurance will not cover either one, because it doesn’t see either one as being medically necessary.
So yes, we are getting extremely pissed off.
Sorry you have to go through that. I hope you are able to get out of Texas at some point.
It fucking sucks, yo. “That’s just how life is” is becoming my mantra. Quite honestly, I’m not sure I’ll ever find a place where I’ll feel safe, secure and supported. I don’t think trans people get to have all three, nor will we ever.
I’ll tell you that where I live in America is waaaaaayyyy more accepting than what you’re describing. A friend transitioned a couple years ago, and said that the insurance, doctors and her job were all super helpful and understanding. A drag queen duo just sold out one of the most popular venues in the city multiple nights for their annual holiday show. Hell, the bar down the street from me has a trans couple who are regulars and nobody gives a shit (coincidentally, they just moved here from Texas). It’s not even a queer bar or anything, it’s just a normal watering hole.
A lot of places in America suck, but there are oases, is what I’m saying.
What state/city is this in? That sounds really nice, though I’m guessing it’s a very expensive place to live. Seems like you either get cheap and hateful, or expensive and tolerant in the US.
Edit: I actually really wanna know. Depending on the cost of living it might become my no. 1 destination.
Seattle. And yes, it’s fucking expensive. Outside of the city is cheaper, but diminishing returns on inclusiveness the farther away you get.
If you have a tech background, living here gets way easier.
Yeah, there’s no way I’ll ever be able to afford to live somewhere like Seattle.
Philly has a strong LGBTQ+ community and isn’t as prohibitively expensive to live in as Seattle. I work with some trans and nonbinary people in the city and they have told me they’re content living and working in Philly.
Before you give up entirely, check out some of the areas surrounding Seattle. The capital is a bit more affordable and there are a lot of state jobs.
can’t even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school
This isn’t true, the media just makes it look that way. The instances of school shooting are very dramatic, but statistically, your kid is in more danger on the drive to school than from a school shooting.
From NEJM 2018 DOI: 10.1056/NEJMsr1804754 Motor vehicle crashes were the leading cause of death for children and adolescents, representing 20% of all deaths; firearm-related injuries were the second leading cause of death, responsible for 15% of deaths.
Yes, and sorta no.
Statistically, US children’s non-health related mortality causes are sitting with firearm deaths at #1 and vehicle related deaths at #2. That said, it’s not just school shootings for the firearm deaths, so they’re more likely to die in a car crash to and from school, but firearms overall throughout their lives.
Both of these categories are climbing year to year, with firearms growing faster than car deaths.
Overall, cars are the third highest reason US adults die after cancer and heart issues.
All of this sucks hard.
I know someone who moved to America. I think she’s living there for over 10 years now and she basically told me the opposite that she always thought the media was exaggerating this but when she moved there she actually experienced multiple shootings (where they we’re evacuated in school and she even heard gunshots in her neighborhood) which made her to not go alone anymore. In Europe the concept of owning a gun alone seems unimaginable.
I live in Texas, I’ve never had a gun go off near me outside of a gun range or rural area (where it’s legal and acceptable). Anecdotal experiences can be wild, right?
I lived in Texas for 30 years. For the last 10-15, I heard a gun in my area - in the city, nowhere near a gun range - at least once a week, if not more.
I finally left the state of insanity and we’re much happier for it.
Yep, that’s my point. I’ve lived in Texas all my life and never heard someone discharge a gun outside of a legal area. You’ve lived in Texas for 30 years and heard guns being fired regularly despite being in the city.
Don’t get me wrong, Texas is fucked in many ways, and while I’ll be sad to leave the scenery and ecology behind, I won’t be sad to leave the people (except my friends who live here).
Good luck to you my friend.
Just going to add my own anecdotal experience to the mix; I’ve lived in the northeast US for my whole life. I also used to be a teacher. I’ve never once been a victim or bystander to gun violence. Now I am in a spot of the US with more strict gun laws, but I have also lived in places with laws that are more lax.
It might explain a few things if this was an American thing, as I have experienced similar things as well, and I don’t know why either. Though in my case few of them identify as American.
What do you mean by “identify as American”?
I’m technically American, but America wants me dead. As such, I do not voluntarily identify as American anymore. Dunno if that’s what they’re referring to, but ye.
What do you mean by America wants you dead?
I’m trans. America’s right-wing, who are now in control, have repeatedly talked about how America needs to be purged of “transgenderism”.
That is deff a thing going on unfortunately. Y’all Qaeda needs to go. Good luck out there
Thank you for being sane
