Hi friends ,
I’ve known my best friend since I was 6 years old. He’s always been very, very successful. I’ve always looked up to him, and still do.
A couple of years ago, I confronted him about Elon. I was very concerned. Elon was becoming something I could no longer support. My friend said that he would support Tesla through thick and thin, and here we are today.
He’s made a lot of money off of Elon and I’m happy for him, but I am very concerned that I should not be supporting someone that’s making a living off of someone that possibly is a Nazi. I’m considering ending my friendship. I want to do the right thing. I care about you. I care about us, and I’m very scared for our future.
I’m asking you for advice on whether or not I should give up on my best friend. We’ve been friends for almost 40 years, and I love him dearly. I’m crying right now making these statements. Should I still seek his support?
I am just so angry. My world is becoming so hostile, and I don’t know if I should separate myself from the negative influences around me. What do you guys think?
You could try just distancing yourself from him. You don’t know what the future brings. Maybe something will happen to bring him around to your way of thinking and then you haven’t burned any bridges. I mean it may come to a confrontation, but you’re there already, so no real loss.
That question is for you to answer, but in my opinion it’s not worth it throwing away a long friendship over politics. You are allowed to have disagreements. Additionally if all his non-politically right friends / associates throw him away if might only push him even further into right politics.
@[email protected] As someone that experienced a similar case, I sleep better with my consciousness clean, even if it hurts.
Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it.
i, too, have a friend that in all-in for elon and made tons of money with tesla stock; he is an elon and trump supporter, etc.
we talk politics regularly, and almost always disagree in these conversations. it can get a little heated sometimes, but we are pretty good at catching ourselves… after all, politics are all opinion-based, so our politics being on the opposite ends if the spectrum are understandable.
if talking politics is too much for the friendship to handle, then i recommend talking about it less (even though it can be difficult when every other story in the news is about it rn). if he brings up a political point, tell him you would rather not talk politics (i say this to my father whenever he comes over, too; its a lot easier to enjoy someone’s company through an enforced facade)
We actually meet eye to eye on most topics. But, it seems that money is paramount. I have a moral objection to that. Thanks for the insight.
politics are all opinion-based, so our politics being on the opposite ends if the spectrum are understandable.
This is a view that is easy to hold when the political opinions have little to no effect on those discussing politics. Once one person’s view steps into fascism and other hate based ideologies that spread oppression and violence it isn’t politics, it is just spreading hate with a veneer of politics.
If the guy really is your friend, ask him bluntly. Don’t tiptoe around the topic.
If he is a fascist and you don’t want to be a sympathetiser your options are quite limited.
Again don’t use colloquialisms, or soft language.
don’t use colloquialisms, or soft language.
Honestly, part of the problem with the current crop of right wing assholes, is that a lot of them are so fucking brainwashed that they don’t even realize that what they’re supporting is just outright fascist/Nazi bullshit, so if you ask them point-blank “Are you a Nazi/fascist” they’re going to answer “no” and truly believe that, even as they’re supporting rounding up immigrants into concentration camps and “ironically” making Nazi salutes.
They have absolutely mastered 1984-style doublethink and duckspeak. They’ll prattle on about being free speech absolutists while wanting to remove books about trans people from libraries or banning people with different opinions from their social media sites. They’ll talk about being fiscally conservative while absolutely fucking the economy. They’ll rant about draining the swamp and eliminating the deep state while they give some unelected goon unprecedented power to do whatever the hell he wants in the government with no consequences.
And they see absolutely no contradictions there.
So you kind of have to play fucking word games with them if you want to actually sus out what their actual thoughts are.
This is so true, and why I posted this video to help us understand it. I went through this with a family member and it’s exhausting.
I’m so sad, bro. He’s coming over in an hour, and I’m so sad to cut him loose.
Convincing someone that they hold illogical positions takes time. If they value your friendship, then they should respect your feelings and at least be open to the conversation. It took me years to deprogram my mother. It took patience and a lot of compassion to slowly change her mind. If he is amicable, it may not be a lost cause. Eventually, Musk’s actions and peer pressure from the public may bring him around. It can happen.
That being said, if he harbors white supremacist views and is uncompromising, it might be best to excise that toxicity from your life. Only you know the contextual reality of this situation. Can his mind be changed? Or is this a lost cause?
If it’s the latter, be compassionate and let them know that you will always be available if they are willing to change their mind.
The thing is I am not trying to change him at all. I just want to do the right thing, and it just seems odd to me that someone would have these beliefs.
You know what is best for you. Good luck.
Thanks, friend.
Good luck.
I don’t think it’s always necessary or even helpful to sever relationships solely because someone has toxic political beliefs.
I would think more in terms of what problems do you see with this relationship and what actions, if any could potentially solve these problems? What are you trying to achieve by ending this relationship?
Really it comes down to intolerance. I just want to help my fellow man. My friend is a good person, I just am so separated from his views of society.
So you want him to become more tolerant, is that your goal?
No, I don’t want him to change. He has his own life. But I wonder if I’m part of the problem by being associated with him.
But I wonder if I’m part of the problem by being associated with him.
Elon’s playbook is to divide us. Elon would prefer your friend be cut off from his long term support (you), when Elon asks him to cross a line that he otherwise wouldn’t.
We are getting to the point I am afraid of. This sucks.
If they’ve been your friend for 40 years, then I think it’s best you talk to him directly. Just be direct, don’t tip-toe around the subject. Just like a marriage, the only thing that is going to relieve the tension and get things on track is open communication with your friend. But – and this is important – You have to be ready for the answers to not be what you want.
Thank you.
Seems a lot of us are making this tough decisions recently. Truly no one can tell you what is best but I think if you feel you can still be a good influence on them then you should try. If not then don’t risk them being a bad influence on you.
His mind is made up. He’s always been about money.
If it’s just about the money, you’ll have plenty of ammo as the market takes a dump soon.
Ha, I’d don’t know all about that. These layoffs are part of the privatization process. I live in the DMV. What a f’n mess! Haha
Sadly no-one can tell you that as it is your decision based on your morals and your beliefs. It’s a hard decision, one that I also had to make. The question is, what is harder and more painful: losing this friend or being friends with someone who is like this.
Wish you all the strength you need to get through this.
Thanks, bro/sis.
Friends come and go, cut and move on.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Cutting people out of your life hurts even when it’s the right call, and it sucks things have deteriorated to the point of considering it.
I think the gut reaction a lot of people are going to have is to dump him, both because they think it’s the right thing to do and because it’s easy to say that when you’re not cutting an important person out of your own life. And I don’t think that’s a wrong impulse, but before going for the nuclear option, let’s at least take a look at what other options are available to you.
You mention he makes money in some way off Musk. To shift your perspective, what that means is you have access to someone that makes Musk money, who presumably also considers you a friend and values you. What is going to have the highest chance of success of convincing him to stop doing business with Musk?
You’re the one that knows him, nobody here can give a better answer than you. If you think that cutting him off cold turkey is going to be a real wake up call to him, then it might be the right way to go.
But be sure that’s what it is, and not that you don’t want to put in the work of having hard, uncomfortable conversations about it. Staying his friend (or at least in contact with him) but not censoring your opinion about Musk and the fact that it lowers your opinion of your friend might be more persuasive than you being out of his life and not kicking up a fuss. Again, you’re going to know better than anyone here since you know him.
I definitely have these talks with him. I just don’t pass judgement. Honestly, who am I?
But, Elon is now in the White House, and I feel that I am part of the problem now that I am being passive in regards to me friend’s beliefs. I just want some insight and other’s opinions.
As long as you’re having these conversations with him regularly, I wouldn’t say that you’re being passive or morally obligated to cut off your communication with him or anything like that. Consistent outreach has value and it doesn’t mean you’re enabling anything.
But if your conscience is screaming at you that this is a hard line the friendship is never going to recover from, don’t torture yourself trying to fix it either.
Thanks, I appreciate the concern. I’ve had problems with him in the past. But, it was nothing I couldn’t overcome. But now, this is way bigger than me.
You said you had this conversation about Elon years ago, but obviously a lot has changed since then.
Try asking some deeper questions about why he still supports Musk now. Is he just trying to plug his head in the sand because he just likes Tesla/has a financial stake, or does he genuinely align with Musk’s fascist leanings? Did he vote for Trump?
Oh boy, I have not addressed this! Haha. Guess I got a serious convo coming up
This. People will ignore a lot of ugliness as long as they’re making money. If it’s just about his financial success and not about what Musk stands for, it may be disingenuous to call him a Nazi sympathizer.
That being said, it’s also true that most ways to make lots of money is on the backs of victims. If this is the part that is offensive to you, but he continues to embrace it even when the topic has been carefully explored, then you should do what helps you stay sane.
I just don’t recommend abandoning friendships lightly.
Determine if the relationship is having a negative impact on you, then either 1) assess why it’s hurting you and if there’s anything to adjust about how you’re processing it, or 2) protect your mental health by setting up the boundaries that you need, cutting off as a last resort.
Be cautious about asking this online though. People are tribal about politics and have zero investment in your IRL relationships, so you may see lots of rationalizing of cutting off a lifelong friend, family member, spouse, etc without much nuance. Only you have the proper perspective to determine what you’d be sacrificing and if it’s a net positive.
It honestly comes all down to morals, and that is it. That’s why this is so difficult. Am I right? Who the hell am I?
You have the right answer here. Too many people wanting us to separate into two opposing groups before it is absolutely necessary. Which is exactly what those hoping for the demise of the nation want. Putin knows he can’t deal with a united United States, but if we’re too busy fighting ourselves, well then, he’s in the catbird seat.
There are people that don’t care if their lifestyle exploits child labor. As long as they benefit, that is all that matters to them. They are so disconnected and unable to fathom or have empathy for anyone aside from themselves or their small inner circle. It isn’t a small minority like this but unfortunately around half of America. About 30% of them are just incredibly spoiled, but as soon as they face hardships then it is all woe me. Now a few of them after may gain empathy, but a larger percentage just want everyone else to suffer and be miserable too. It’s fucking despicable what money does to people.
Don’t ask lemmy for advice. Lemmy cares about their own ideology and nothing else.
Lemmy cares about their own ideology and nothing else.
no i don’t, therefore you lie. why would “we” listen to a liar?
You came in here, saw all the intelligent, reasonable conversations below and still posted this ignorant comment? The thread is full of insightful comments, not ideologies.
Suggesting someone reevaluate their friendship with a person who is causing feelings of discomfort and anger is an ideology now?
Well yes! You stupid leftists don’t have the right to live a comfortable life, free from criticism and accountability like us right-wingers. We’re the ones who are right, it’s right there in the name, “right-wing”. As such, anyone that might cause us discomfort, such as breaking ties or criticizing the ones who we support, is espousing a disgusting, ignorant, liberal ideology.
(I hope it’s obvious that I’m being sarcastic)
Where should I go?
I see more comments in this thread claiming that everyone here is going to say this than I see comments actually saying it.
This is the most true statement in this whole thread and the best advice here. Don’t ask Lemmy.
Where should I go?
To your friend and other mutual friends and talk about it.
