For example, I once saw a man throw his hat down in anger. He didn’t stomp on it which was kind of a let down.
My ex wife was going to quit her job. She had the papers printed in her purse, the conversation ongoing in her head. She is the right-hand of the boss, keeping the company afloat and they have a friendly relationship, like knowing each others family around Christmas dinner ect.
Her boss asked her out at lunch to talk outside of the office in a nicer environment. She took the opportunity to give her resignation at the same time but first she had to listen to what her boss wanted to say.
He told her that he’s been very lately diagnosed with throat cancer, too late to do anything about it. Doctors gave him 6 month to live. He then started to cry.
Her resignation papers stayed in her purse that day…
Had an emotionally painful, self-esteem crushing experience at the hands of a high school girl that left me bitter and angry. Reconnected with her 15 years later and set about trying to hurt her the way I hurt. Wound up falling in love and getting married.
That’s some Hollywood bullshit right there but we’ve been married going on 15 years.
That could just be part of the long game you’re playing! ;^)
Damn bro, all part of her plan, she’s going to let you down even harder this time! Jk
Already anticipating that deathbed “syke!” after decades of marital bliss.
Yeah but jokes on her. Because you’ve got evidence that she’s been sleeping with her husband the whole time!
I had sex once.
Nice.
Niiiiiiccee
Nice.
Once
I’ve seen that movie!
With someone else?
Oh shit, is that a requirement?
I had sex once.
Doesn’t count here, because the sex in the movies isn’t real.
I was at Goodwill one time and I swear to you I heard a conversation almost exactly like this at the jewelry counter.
employee: hello how’s it going today?
customer: pretty damn terrible
employee: oh, uh… well I hope it starts getting better soon
customer: it never does
Sounds like somebody had a case of the Mondays.
Sounds like a typical interaction in New Jersey.
Was that customer perhaps a melancholy robot with a brain the size of a planet?
My husband had to evict his coke dealer at the apartment building he worked at.
Jumping my bike off curb cuts and a garage exploded behind me. I was like 9 or 10.
Pretty much just like that except it was the garage door proper!
Vin Diesel style, nice!
We snatched a few Neighborhood Crime Watch signs from our rural neighborhood.
If anyone happens to have a recording from 1998 of when the Daily Show came out to rural PA and interviewed the state troopers and crime watch committee about it, we’ve been trying to find that recording for years. It was definitely during the Craig Kilborn years and I believe Steve Colbert was the field reporter who did the segment, but I’m not sure, because all those Daily show guys looked the same to me back before they got famous.
Jay Leno also did a Headlines bit on it, but that’s not nearly as fun.
With digitization the way it’s going, for example Jon Oliver’s show releasing all of their content on YouTube, you might get lucky by reaching out to the studio itself. There’s gotta be some nerd who’d find your story interesting enough to comb the archive for you.
I did find a site dedicated to finding all the lost episodes, but they haven’t found mine yet. 🤷🏻♂️ I used to have one, but someone taped over it with Oprah.
Standing in a convenience store when a car comes crashing through the front, and broken glass flies all around all the customers including me. None of us got hurt, but it was scary AF. Car was being driven by an elderly person who confused the brake pedal with the gas pedal.
I had something similar happen to me. The steering knuckle on my first car broke and took out the brakes in the process. I hit the brakes and emergency brake as hard as I could but my vehicle turned sharply to the left and drove into a pool store.
However, there was a car between me and The pool store, so I hit the car and the car went into the pool store.
That was some scary fucking shit, fortunately no one was hurt and the damages were fairly minor.
You were just playing billiards but with cars.
Oh, you meant the other kind of pool…
Once i had a bike accident. The car was parked and the driver opened the door milliseconds before i drove by.
The bike smashed into his door and i went flying onto the other lane, where luckily no cars were driving at the time.
The movie like thing was that i landed rolling a few times and ended up on my feet without any injury or whatsoever. The bike was trashed, as was the car’s door. The driver was also pretty shocked about what happened. I was just wondering why nothing happened to me.
Ok, i was young ( 26 ) and I’m sure my body wouldn’t be so lucky nowadays.
You might be a ninja!
I had a similar experience (at a similar age but only one flip) and instead of a door, I stopped short to avoid an unexpected car and did an involuntary front flip over the handlebars of a mountain bike with the handlebars still in my hands. After I landed on my feet, the bike swung over my head (through the force of its inertia, I’m guessing) and landed on the back tire in front of me in a full wheelie position while I stood behind it. The driver just looked at me with her mouth wide open in shock. We had a laugh and continued about our days unharmed but shoook. I can’t even believe I did that. I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that if I tried.
Yeah, I’m sure that, without training, trying to do something like that on purpose, is bound to have you fail spectacularly.
In my case, i would probably jump too soon, before the door opens.
Drives me crazy how so many people don’t check for traffic, pedestrians, whatever before opening their door. Glad you weren’t hurt!
Nowadays with mobile phones it’s even worse. I see people walking around with their undivided attention on what they are doing on the phone. Other people usually walk around them.
Other people usually walk around them.
I don’t, I am the mean asshole they have to walk around. I see them imposing costs on me and I don’t accept.
Walking home from the bus stop, this much younger little kindergarten girl who I could tell had a crush on me, turned to me and said, “you drive me cookoo bananas!” then hastily turned into the street without looking where she was immediately hit by an oncoming car (which slammed on their brakes at the point of impact) and launched literally like 5 meters.
I can still see her flying through the air in slow motion in my memory.
The neighborhood Mom who hit her was inconsolable.
Best part of the story (and the only reason I would relay such a tragic event in this thread): she was somehow almost unscathed and was at school the next week no worse for the wear by all accounts.
She more than earned the nickname, “Fender Bender” given to her by the mean kids.
Glad she was okay, damn. That story made me remember Stacy from Wayne’s World
I was walking through the city, watched as a man in a suit in front of me (I was walking behind him for a couple of blocks) picked up a briefcase beside a newsstand and got in the passenger seat of a waiting black car which drove off.
I’m in a spy movie, I guess.
In the 1960s the CIA used to leave instructions for their agents inside the buttholes of dead pidgeons.
Their logic was that ANYONE could pick up a random briefcase, but who’s going to pick up a dead bird.
They stopped doing it when some guy picked up the dead bird. The CIA thought a russian spy figured things out. Nope. Turns out they followed the guy, and did survielance on him for roughly an hour, as they gathered intel on how dangerous this guy was. They found no criminal background. So they stormed the house with armed guards. They found the dead pidgeons butthole covered in semen. The guy had no clue he just picked up government secrets.
You MF. You were telling the truth about the pigeon sex story. And you didn’t even tell me!
I mean…I directly said this was the case.
There’s also a post in my recent history where I asked if anyone wanted to put my hot dog in their mouth, and posted a picture of my gooey covered weiner. It got many downvotes.
Pocket dog?
Well I should HOPE nobody puts it in their pocket! Then it would get all linty, and you couldn’t enjoy the meaty salty flavor in your mouth, as it squirts it’s gooey topping down your throat.
Why do I even internet?
Goodness! I hope he didn’t get a papercut from those instructions.
Not a movie, but there was a period of time when my parents’ house had them living upstairs, my older brother, his wife, and their young son living in the converted basement, and me temporarily staying in a guest bedroom after I had just gotten out of the Army. And we all worked at the family pizza restaurant together.
It was the perfect TGIF sitcom scenario.
Was there a laugh track? :)
Ha, barely. The situation was closer to Roseanne than Full House, but I enjoyed it.
Also, true story, shortly after I moved out one of my younger brother’s friends moved into the guest room because of drama at home and our family gave him enough structure to straighten up and complete high school. It is exactly what would happen after my character got written out of the sitcom in season 4 and a beloved guest character got promoted to the regular cast…
At least he didn’t have to play your character while everyone acts like nothing is different.
Once I worked a double with a coworker I had a small crush on. Towards the end of the shift, my sister called me. She was staying in a rural area on the other side of the state. She had started to drive home, and something had popped her tire. She had no spare, and no where was open… and she had an international flight in the morning. I told her, yup yup, I’ll go get her.
As soon as I got off my call, my co worker insisted that she go with me. “You’re going to need a co pilot.” After some back and forth, somehow we ended up taking her car even. That was at 8pm. It was really nice at first. I learned a lot about her. She told me about her fiance, and her upbringing in the south. We got to our destination at midnight, and both of us were bushed. We asked my sister if she could take the wheel for the way home. We both fell asleep.
My sister hit a deer at around 2am. We were still about 90 min from my car. Who do you call at 2am to drive that far to turn around and drive all the way back? I started making calls. We were dropped off at this truck stop; I am trying to be strong for these ladies; one of whom just had her car totaled and one of whom is my literal baby sister. One of my friends made the drive; and Ive got stories about her (which also might just be movie esqe). In any case, I took my co worker home, and then handed my keys to my sister gingerly, because she had some stuff to do at her house before my dad took her to the air port. She made her flight with 20 minutes to spare, at 830 am. My car was the first one she left in working order that night.
I spent the next month helping my coworker get around while my sister was abroad. Didn’t get the girl, but that’s the story of my life. This had stakes, and acts, and a second act turn!
I somehow got the highest possible score in an English exam without properly studying for it, and I ended up getting voted as the class rep after a single speech.
Was in an expressway pileup and man you sense of time just does go wack. I had somewhat the effect when I was young and we used to walk on the train tracks and we turned around to see a train coming and it seemed like it was ontop of us and we literally lept to the side and actually it was pretty far away we were just surprised by it. got all dirty and scratched up for nothing. Had time to get up and look and see it was a way aways and wait for it. Okay the last thing was not preciesly a movie thing but im just talking about wierd time perception things they sorta immitate with slow motion and such.
