Like… If I go to the plaza in my town this cold afternoon just to watch the stupid Xmas tree I won’t meet a flirty person there right?
I don’t even know why I’m asking this, I won’t do it anyways. Hypothetical I guess
Like… If I go to the plaza in my town this cold afternoon just to watch the stupid Xmas tree I won’t meet a flirty person there right?
I don’t even know why I’m asking this, I won’t do it anyways. Hypothetical I guess
Isn’t that faking though? I most likely wouldn’t care about someone else interest, I’m probably into her body and looks and more sentimental part obviously. Hobbies and stuff can be whatever, I don’t like to share my hobby with people and I bet she wouldn’t care or call it childish.
Disqualifying yourself (and others) before you even try to meet someone isn’t going to help. Just try to talk to people and show genuine interest in what they have to say, you’d be surprised.
What if I can’t show genuine interest then. Because that’s my regular state
Maybe the issue is wanting high yield for low investment. Maybe invest in yourself more. When you become enough for you, everything else is a compliment, not a completion.
I’m not going to invest more in me that I’m already doing. Sometimes I feel like giving up even more on me that I’m already doing right now, I’m tired.
I mean no offense, but it sounds like you have poorly developed social skills. I used to as well.
You could try reframing it in your mind:
It’s not faking, it’s practice.
If you pick up an instrument for the first time to practice, you will sound terrible, and possibly be discouraged, but if you practice for hundreds of hours you’ll be able to play it for real.
Babies and children aren’t born knowing how to express interest or sympathize. You certainly weren’t. Children have to learn how to do this. It is possible that you need to practice if you want to build intimate relationships. There is no shortcut to this.
I have 2 guitars and gave up on those long ago, still can’t play shit. So you tell me. I don’t have social skills, I’m aware. But that’s me. That’s who I am, does that mean I’m cursed to be alone and miserable just for that? Meanwhile there’s horrible, disgusting criminals out there getting laid and even married? Am I worse than that just because I don’t socialise?
You should really consider professional help (if you want to change). Reading your comments, venting to random people on Lemmy isn’t going to change anything for you.
I’m aware this won’t change anything but it’s either this or drowning in silence.
Do what you always did, get what you always got.
Without social skills, you are cursed to be alone, yes. Humans don’t hang out with people that makes them feel bad.
Fix your social skills or be alone. Your choice.
That sounds more like a fling than “love”.
If you don’t care about bonding with people, to the point that you already, without even meeting her, don’t give a shit about the person living in the body you are horny for, just hire a sex worker. It’s much easier because you don’t have to put in any effort at all to be a better version of yourself (something you are clearly desperately opposed to doing), and saves any woman having to deal with that bullshit in a relationship where she thinks you might be reclusive but otherwise reachable with a bit of patience, when in reality you are just a self-absorbed whiner actively choosing to be as miserable as possible.
No woman is ever going to want to be in a relationship with the person you are representing yourself as on here. Seriously, you sound like all the worst self-inflicted traits of people I’ve dated all rolled into one oh-poor-me parade. What a powerful turnoff. Seek professional help to fix yourself first, or you’ll just keep feeling let down and angry about something you are doing entirely to yourself, and you’ll keep blaming everyone but yourself. So it’ll just. Keep. Happening.
There’s nothing wrong with you that you can’t fix. But you have to want to. And before you say you can’t fix your looks or whatever other nonsense bullshit excuse you’ve come up with to not have to blame your own shitty self-absorbed personality that you actively choose to maintain, not everyone is as shallow as you are and only cares about the way their partner looks or sounds or whatever. The vast majority of humans are far deeper than you seem willing to give us credit for.
You came here just to insult someone suffering that you don’t know and did absolutely nothing to you, seriously who are you and why you’re attacking me?. I will not take ANYTHING from you since you’re this awful. Get lost.
Oh lord, we’re all suffering in some way. You don’t get to have a pity party and get manipulative when someone says something that challenges your self destructive and toxic beliefs. If you’re so fragile in the face of having your viewpoints challenged, then you certainly came to an interesting space.
Lawl, you won’t take anything from anyone who tried to help you more nicely, either, and I wasn’t being mean or attacking you, regardless what you might think, just being honest without sugar-coating it, cuz that clearly doesn’t get through to you. I read alllllllll your replies. I’m not assuming anything about you, I’m basing this entirely on how you present yourself on here, and I said as much in my comment.
You come on here whining up a storm and aggressively shooting down everyone who tries to help you, what do you honestly expect? To be the permanent center of the entire internet while everyone fawns over you, (oh you poor poor victim of the unfair world, you!) and offers you ways to do absolutely nothing and get what you want (which don’t exist, btw, which is why nobody has offered you any)?
Get therapy, dude. Seriously. You desperately need it.
Aggressive? Wtf are you talking about? I didn’t attacked anyone here, I just can’t agree with what they say, it’s ridiculous for me just acting like someone else without feeling that way that’s it. Meanwhile you came here straight to my neck insulting me (yes you’re insulting) and again I DID NOTHING TO YOU. You’re calling someone you never met pathetic and that all his feelings and problems are bullshit
What is your problem?
You don’t have to attack anyone to aggressively shoot them down. It’s in the tone and brevity you use to communicate it, that you are completely right (even tho you supposedly want advice) and they are thus completely wrong, and their thoughts aren’t worth more than a dismissive sentence or two that boils down to how you are a special snowflake for whom all the things that work for other people simply can’t work, because reasons.
If it was insulting, you might want to think about why. Because all I did was describe how you are behaving on here.
Get therapy. Or keep doing this little dance every few weeks with the exact same results every time, even though it’ll never actually help, whatever. You do you.